mum keeps goin on at me?

Question

at home when i dont help around i get told off but when i do help they dont appriceiate it i fell abit left out

Answer 1

I know how you feel...many years ago I was in the same boat.... but then I grew older, moved out, got my own house, bills,,etc... Oh how I wish I could move back home...free room and board, free food, laundry...All I had to do back then was mow the lawn in the summer and rake the yard in the winter...now its 40+ hours a week at work only to come home and mow the lawn...etc........:( life just ain't fair....

Answer 2

Okay, this is from a parent's perspective and I am sometimes guilty of not appreciating the work that my daughter does. Mostly that is due to the fact that I am extremely busy myself and simply don't notice what is done because it is far easier to see what isn't. I know what it is like to feel unappreciated and taken for granted, at work and then again at home - that is the real world.

However, what I did was to have my daughter write down what she does without being asked. It really gave me an awareness of what she is doing that isn't "visible". Every weekend we have a "to do" list of what needs to get done around the house and we both work on that list. I have her initial all the things that she does and we both can see who is contributing.

Just an idea or two, but they really helped resolve a lot of conflict here and in a positive way. The comments about "don't do it if they don't applaud you" are immature and will only get you in further hot water. My daughter tried that - it wasn't good. The only person that learned a lesson at the end of that was her.

Answer 3

Parents don't always praise their children for jobs done well. They complain when the chores don't get done. In a family, everyone should pitch in and do his or her share to keep the home running well. It's a responsibility and you shouldn't need praise to keep you going. If trash needs to go out to the curb, and it's your job...just do it. No hassles, and your house doesn't smell. If the dishes pile up in the sink and it ISN'T your job, but you have time...just do them...do you have any idea how pleased your mum will be? Even if she doesn't say so, she will be enormously appreciative and remember it when it comes to something you want later on. Don't think of it as "helping" around the house. The care of the home is the responsibility of ALL family members...not just mum or dad, you know. As I always told my children (who are now grown with kids of their own), if you do the small jobs while they are small, they won't build up to huge jobs. So keep your place neat and tidy and you won't have to spend a weekend cleaning up a huge mess at the end of the week. Tell your mum, you'll work harder, if she'll praise you a little more for a job well done. Bet she will.

Answer 4

So sorry, some times us moms get it all wrong and forget to thank you for helping out.
I'm sure you are appreciated and trying your hardest to help out at home.
Maybe if your mom could draw up a list of chores that will be agreeable to you both you will find she will not have to ask you to do them because you can see by the list what will need to be done on certain days.
Perhaps you could think of a treat you could have say at the end of the week/month, maybe were it involves you all as a family doing something together.
Believe me moms do appreciate what you do!

Answer 5

I'm sure your mum and dad didn't think that when they were feeding you and running about tidying up after you, get on with it and stop being selfish! when you grow up and have to live in the real world all on your own there will be no one to thank you and buy you a bunch of flowers for washing your own pots, how many times have you thanked your mum for tidying up after you?

Answer 6

I felt the same when i was a kid. id try to help out but always got in the way, then got screwed at cos i did do anything. my advice, if you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you dont, then dont! At least when shes not around. You can do your bit by keeping your area tidy, and doing things like the vacuuming and ironing. Comprimise and understanding: the key to household bliss.

Answer 7

i am sure you are a nice girl, and parents appreciate the fact its just that we dont realise this, there are many times our parents help us, but even we dont appreciate that all the time either , we are mostly oblivious of it. I am 22 and studying for my masters in a different country even till this date I get scolded by my parents for the most trivial of matters , but I know deep down they love me till death. Cheer up girl your parents have been blessed to have a daughter like you

TC

Answer 8

It's a bit rubbish, I know. But as an adult you have to do things and no one notices. Think about your poor mother cleaning after you all these years. Have you ever told her you appreciate it? No, of course not. She is treating you like an adult. People expect things of you, like tidying up after yourself. It is a given: you don't get praise for doing it.

Answer 9

Common problem! Just keep helping out, that way at least they aren't on at you. When you do help they're probably thinking it won't last but if you continue showing them you can be helpful maybe they'll start appreciating you more!

Answer 10

try doing the dishes without being asked, then perhaps tidying your room etc. Surprise your folks with a cup of tea while they're watching telly, then just quietly go off and do your own thing, if they still don't look / act surprised, then...why bother?