I am visiting an old friend and will be there for a week. My son 15 years old hates long drives and says he will be bored because he doesn't know my friend. We will make stops along the way but he still says he doesn't want to go. I'd like this to be an enjoyable trip but he can make things miserable for all of us however I am the "boss"and I'm sure if he goes he'll find something of interest. I don't know what to do. Make him go or let him stay in town with family?
2006-11-10 02:18:04 · 18 answers · asked by Jacobi S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i also have a 15 yr old son and the same problem. last august my aunt past away and i had to drive to NC and he didnt want to go. it was a 10 hour drive. of course the circumstances were different in this case, i didnt force him to go with us.
in march we drove to atlanta from florida but because we were going to 6 flags he was all for it going.
if you find a way to interest him into going, maybe he will want to go, otherwise, if you dont want to have a miserable drive, i guess i'll leave him with family.
2006-11-10 05:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by Delfina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your vacation right? If you have options....family who you know will keep him out of trouble..... it may be better for all if you leave him.
If you were going to Disney World or some place that would interest a 15 year old boy I am sure he would put up with the drive. But visiting your friends.....that he doesn't know....will not be fun for him... and at 15 that is a major factor. Of course if your friend has a hot daughter he could get to know. Oh yea! That would make a difference alright.
If you have options don't force it. Both you and your daughter will enjoy the trip a whole lot more. And so will he.
Of course if you have no one to leave him with you must take him....bound if necessary.....but he must go. A 15 year old boy can get in a lot of trouble if not supervised.
2006-11-10 02:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him stay in town with family. Like you said, having him along might just make the trip miserable for him and everyone else (nobody likes to be on a trip with someone who doesn't want to be there), and I can sort of understand why he might not want to go for an 18-hour drive vacation, especially at that age. The trip might just cause him stress and stress for your daughter because she will have to listen to possible/probable arguments when he is bored. Good luck, and have fun on the trip!
2016-05-22 02:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One way is to make it about you. Ask him is there some reason that he does not want to be in your company? Does he believe that you are boring? You might also ask him about things that he likes to do and implement them into the trip. Be very careful not to judge him here. It could also be about trust, and about flexing his male independence in your abscence. Do you trust him enough to stay at home by himself? You may also be favoring his sister over him unconsciously.
Find out about things in the destination that may be of interest to him.
Stop at a place that would have a lot of girls his age, or a skate Park, or a Rock concert that he'd really like to see.
What 15 year old boy would not like that!
If it comes down to it you may have to force him, and he will hate you for a while. Even if he is having a good time he may never admit it, but you will know from the fleeting smile that will show up on his face when he thinks you are not looking.
2006-11-10 06:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by SONG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 15 yr old is way to long to leave alone for a week. If you left him behind could you just imagine the trouble he'd get into??? My mom used to leave me alone at 16yrs but only for 1 or 2 nights and she was really lucky I was a good kid (she had to only because I had to work)
Bring him along and give him something to look forward to, you said you were going to make some stops - ask him to help you choose one or two.
Look at it this way, you're days of going on vacation with your son ARE numbered. Soon he'll be off on his own. They stay young for such a short time.
If you do decide to leave him behind, leave him with a family member or trusted friend. If he doesn't like this idea - tell him that those are his only choices, you're the parent and still the boss (at least for a few more years...)
2006-11-10 02:31:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's a hard question. I have a 12-yr-old daughter, a 14-yr-old daughter, and a 14-yr-old stepdaughter. I feel your pain! If it is important for your son to meet your old friend, then put your foot down. Maybe if you let him bring a friend of his own along that would help. If you just want to see your friend, and your son will truly ruin your time, maybe you should let him stay with Grandma (or another relative). My husband and I have found that sometimes we need to take the path of least resistance. These years are hard, but they make it through. I also have twin 19-yr-old sons. They made it through the "I'm bored" stage, and now they are WONDERFUL. One more thing, does he have Gameboy, CD Player, DVD Player in the car? Just some ideas. I wish you the best.
2006-11-10 02:25:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you take him and it is a guarantee that your life will be miserable, then let him stay with family. Just be sure that you thoroughly enjoy the trip and the bonding time with your daughter. Seize that opportunity.
He is getting older and spending time with his mom and sister are simply not high on his list of things he wants to do. In fact, it would probably not even be on the list at all. If you have family that you can trust for him to stay with, then I would suggest it. Just be sure that he is not "running rampant" while you are gone so you don't have to worry about what he is up to.
When you return from the trip, let him know about all the things that you did and either he will opt to go next time or he will be glad he didn't go this time. It is your vacation too, and you don't want it spoiled for you, your daughter, or your friend that you are going to visit.
2006-11-10 02:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a mother of four and our family has travelled quite extensively with kids. My opinion is that you can be democratic with your son AND still spend the time you want with him on the trip, enjoyably IF: you are willing to follow Haim Ginot's advice and "change a mood, not a mind". Ex; your 4 year old wants to go outside with you, but will not let you tie his shoelaces. His shoelaces are realy long and you don't feel comfortable to just let this go. So, instead of arguing the benefits of tying up shoelaces with a four year old or threatening and bribing your way to your way ( tactics I personally succumb to way too much for my own peace of mind) you could start engaging on your child's level and make the whole "argument" funny and distractive. Like "Sam, that's it (in a kind and unthreatening voice) I don't want to tie my shoelaces either" Untie your shoelaces and stomp around pretending to fall down...when this turns into a giggle fest (hopefully) then the mood has been switched and cooperation can usually be sought in a more democratic way (ideally!) Of course this doesn't always work on the first try and abandoning the persuasion game for a few minutes or hours might be needed.
As far as convincing your 15 year old son that being with Mom (Dad! whoever you are to him) does not have to be a total drag takes democratic and cooperative solutions along the lines of changing the mood, or switching the perspective.
He is 15. Tell him, we are going on this trip, I could leave you behind but I really want to spend this time with you and we would be alone in the car alot so we could relate without me embarassing you in public by wanting to hang out with you (like at the arcade or a movie or something) and I need you to help with some crucial preparations. Like could you burn a CD for the trip that is a good mix of all of your favorite music and mine? Could you go to the book store and choose a book on tape that we would both enjoy for the trip?(suggestion: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy; it is 6 hours long) Could you gather some drawing and writing materials so that we can make a document of cool things we see on the way, and interesting people we meet on our stops? Could you check the road atlas and highlight the best route for this trip? Etc. etc. If you have a digital camera or camcorder you could ask your son to make a mini documentary to show his friends and family. it could be humorous like "How I survived 18 hours in the Car with My Boring Parent" Remember he is a teenager; his ambivalence about this trip is not a sliht. He is just asserting independence, but remind him of the good times you had together when he was younger and that time alone is a rarer and rarer thing as he grows into a man and that you really value those memories with him and that it will keep you from following him on dates in future years because you have these memories to draw on - hahaha.
Good Luck, happy travels, Shan
2006-11-10 02:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by Shan M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your situation. I let my teen bring a friend along. Get permission from the friend's parents, stop at interesting places along the way, and make it a real vacation...not just a visit with your friend...and things should go okay. Otherwise, yes, let him stay home with family. He'll ruin the trip for you with his attitude.
2006-11-10 02:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A vacation should be enjoyable for everyone. If you are going to make him go at least allow him to bring a friend. Otherwise let him stay home. He will just complain and drag you and your daughter down
2006-11-10 02:20:41 · answer #10 · answered by Alissa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋