I am visiting an old friend and will be there for a week. My son 15 years old hates long drives and says he will be bored because he doesn't know my friend. We will make stops along the way but he still says he doesn't want to go. I'd like this to be an enjoyable trip but he can make things miserable for all of us however I am the "boss"and I'm sure if he goes he'll find something of interest. I don't know what to do. Make him go or let him stay in town with family?
2006-11-10 02:16:29 · 30 answers · asked by Jacobi S 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
if boredom is his only problem, there is a cure for that-
http://www.biffleys.com/travel_games.htm
you get the idea...unless you think he will rebel and ruin everyones time, i would make him go and i would do my part to make him glad he did
you wont get too many more opportunities like this since he is almost an adult...take advantage of it!
2006-11-10 02:23:08 · answer #1 · answered by kimandchris2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him stay in town with family. Like you said, having him along might just make the trip miserable for him and everyone else (nobody likes to be on a trip with someone who doesn't want to be there), and I can sort of understand why he might not want to go for an 18-hour drive vacation, especially at that age. The trip might just cause him stress and stress for your daughter because she will have to listen to possible/probable arguments when he is bored. Good luck, and have fun on the trip!
2006-11-10 12:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by Koko T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. On the one hand, you want to maintain parental authority, but, on the other hand, you don't want the trip ruined because of his crappy behavior.
Last February, we got tickets for Cirque de Soleil as a birthday gift for our 11-year-old. Our 15-year-old daughter didn't want to go - she said, "It's stupid", and didn't want to participate in a family outing. Typical for the age, I guess. We insisted she go with us (mostly because the tickets were expensive, non-refundable, and we couldn't find anyone else to go in her place on such short notice). She sulked in the car on the way there. Needless to say, the performance was awesome - and afterwards, she was practically frothing over how wonderful it had been and how happy she was to have seen it. It was one of those "wink" moments, as in, "See? Toldja you'd like it".
Your question raises some other questions. Is your son rebelling against going because of his age? Is it because he has things going on at home that are important and he doesn't want to miss them (like an athletic event)? Is he typically cooperative, and this is a new behavior? Are you taking him because you really think he will get something out of the trip, or merely because you don't want to leave him home when you're not there? If you agree to let him stay behind "with family", will he be adequately supervised - or able to do as he pleases?
I think these questions need to be answered by you, FOR you (not us) to enable you to make the wisest decision possible. Only you know your son, and what is best for him.
Under the circumstances as you've described them, if it were me, I would probably let my daughter stay behind with family. Even if I threatened her with some sort of consequence for negative behavior during the trip, overall, I think I'd rather have a peaceful week away rather than one filled with animosity and stress. I would first make sure that whoever she was staying with understood that she was to be kept on a "short leash" (curfews, etc.), and make sure I left written authorization for emergency medical care in my absence. I would also make sure that, upon my return, she understood that she had missed out on a great trip. I have a feeling that after you are gone for a day or so, your son will already be regretting that he didn't come along - and this self-imposed "punishment" will surely affect the way he responds the next time an invitation (and privelege) like this comes along.
Good luck with this one, sweetie, and have a safe trip.
2006-11-10 03:34:41 · answer #3 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him stay. A bad attitude can ruin the trip for the rest of you. If you really want to have him go, I would suggest that you find things ahead of time that are of his interest all along the trip. Maybe stop by his favorite restuarants, see attractions that he's interested in, have your long time friend call to introduce himself or herself to your son before you go on the trip. They both might have something in common. I think your son will not feel comfortable unless you cater a bit to his needs. As a "boss" you do want happy people and I think it's only fair you try to make him have happy thoughts about the trip and not push him to do anything he doesn't want. As a teen your son might rebel agianst you if you force him to do anything he doesn't want.
2006-11-10 02:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by tofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually made my son go but then again I didn't have family close where he could stay. For the most part he usually ended up having a good time. But you know your friends and if you think it would be boring or not for him there. If you don't think he'll enjoy himself then I'd let him stay with family. At that age it makes it rough since most would rather be around friends in their spare time. Good luck to you ;o)
2006-11-10 02:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him stay home with family. He is probably right teenagers don't want to spend a whole week on a family vacation especially if its to visit your friend. At this age your being the "boss" will only make it worse for you and him.
2006-11-10 02:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him the choice.. but make it clear he will not be staying home alone.. he will be with family...
visiting people sucks.. I always hated it as a kid.. still do.. I would much rather be out doing stuff than sat in somebodies house "visiting"
but give him the option and dont make him feel bad for selecting what he did "like if he chooses to stay dont say WOW we had a great time you missed ___________ and we did ________________-- and you would have loved the _______________"
he is 15 he is growing up.. he is slowly seperating the bonds...
2006-11-10 02:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is really resisting going let him stay in town with friends or more than likely he will make the trip miserable for everyone. HAVE FUN!
2006-11-10 03:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well after all this is your vacation and you want to have fun ,theirs nothing worse than wanting to get a way from it all and then it turning out to be miserable' sure you are the boss and let him know that you love him and wish he'd go with you and that you could force him to go but say OK stay here with family I need and want to go ;and don;t worry about it ;have fun life is to short any way.enjoy your vacation.
2006-11-10 02:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by deedee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. If you really want him to go with you, then as the parent you can make him. He can read or play video games or any number of many other things to enjoy the trip. If there are kids his age where your friend lives, that may help so find out and let him know. Good luck.
2006-11-10 02:18:47 · answer #10 · answered by Army Wife 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a family vacation. Your son is the age of minority. You are the adult and have the final say. He may not want to go and he is entitled to his opinion but ultimately he will go and be just fine with the drive.
2006-11-10 02:26:44 · answer #11 · answered by Todd Maz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋