My husband is deployed, and i know that things are sooo stressfull and that he wants to be home and he really misses me and his family... i know he is upset that he cant be with me during our pregnancy, but he tends to just get really mad over nothing, like the fact that i spend hours at an army rec. center to be on the computer in hopes that i will be able to catch him on... i try very hard to deal with him and him "accusing" me of being unfaithful, but every time he does it, it gets harder and harder... i've even had to hang up on him many times, for the health of the baby i couldnt argue with him... i always end up feeling sooooo bad and like its all my fault and that i just wasnt being "good" enough to not make him mad... i lash out on him sometimes and act very mean to him when he does this.. but its the last way i want to act... i dont know how to deal with him though... i always am doing something to make him smile... so why does he lash out on me? and how do i handle it?
2006-11-10 02:11:48 · 9 answers · asked by red.one9luv 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it is important that you continue to tell him how proud you are of him and that you love him. He is in a very difficult situation and probably the only thing getting him through it is you and the baby. I don't think he's quite himself in the situation he's in. I know it is hard on you too. I come from a military family and was in the Air Force myself and was in Iraq back in the early 90
s/ No one can imagine the stress involved in being over there.It does tend to change you. God Bless you for hanging in there with your husband and your service is greatly appreciated. I pray that he comes home safe to you and you will have a great life together. Try not to argue...I know it's difficult, but you wouldn't want that to be the last words you had between each other. The war tends to put you through mood swings. You're worried about your self, your family and the other soldiers you are with. When he gets home, things will work themselves out. I wish you luck and peace.
2006-11-10 02:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have NO idea what he is going through being so far away from his family! I can't even imagine how that must feel. Nevermind the lonliness, I'm sure that he is fearful that he may never see you again! I know it is hard, but try really hard to understand !
You need to set up specific times to meet each other on the computer! I'm sure that is not always possible for him, but if you can at least come up with an hour window, that should help you to connect with him.
It is so common for affairs to occur when couples are seperated for long periods of time. He probably has other guys telling him that you could be cheating, and it is making him crazy because he has no way of knowing for sure! Just reassure him as much as possible that you love him, and that you want him home!
The more you argue with him and snap back at him, the more insecure he gets. When he starts in with all that stuff, just calmy say "I love you!! I want you home, and I'll wait for the rest of my life if I have to, but I would NEVER cheat on you!" Two things will happen, hopefully, he will calm down and you will not get all upset over it!
Good luck to you with the new baby! I hope he gets home safely to you!
2006-11-10 02:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was deployed for 3 years running. First of all there is no excuse for his behavior whatsoever! Obviuosly it is his issues that are a problem. You are married and pregnant so whats the deal? Sure he is probably a bit frustrated but is insecure for some reason. Could be chalked up to tot being able to deal with all of the big things going on in his life. He should though foremost be worring about his JOB. To bottom line it you need to get off of the computer and not be so available. Make him have to work harder to make you happy and appreciate that is what is most important in his life. Send him some letters w. pictures...... this is ten times better for a soldier than an email.
2006-11-10 02:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop spending time at the rec center.
You don't need to be at the rec center to wait to see him on the computer
make plans to talk to him, at certain time.
this would be a good solution for both of you.
Honestly you are doing things to upset him so he gives you attention.
I can understand you are pregnant and lonely and need him, but he is in an already stressful environment, please try not to make things worse by making him jealous to see if he still loves you.
He could get killed, or injured and by you making him doubt his home life , if he were to get hurt, who he have the same trust in you that he had before.
Your JOB as a wife is to Boost him up. Make him feel confident and secure, so that he can go out there distraction FREE
And stays alive,
If you distract his mind with the BS he doesn't have his mind on the issue at hand, and they have the upper hand.
If you need attention, get some girlfriends and go out on the town.
2 times per month.
Otherwise stop doing this to your Man.
He'd be with you if he could. Don't make him feel guilty for something that isn't in his control.Don't hurt him cause you are feeling hurt.Don't cause Chaos , neither you or he needs this right now.
Tell him how you feel and appologize and don't do that anymore.
Be a good faithful wife and mother, and go to church to keep busy.
here is a website http://www.bahai.org/
I am a bahai and , If you know any Bahai's they'll help you through it.
Call them and they'll hang out with you, keep you company.
2006-11-10 02:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once treated my wife like this. Understand that distance is murder to some men. We change because we are scared of losing someone. Just listen and tell him how much you love him. Its just a roller coaster that you have to hold on to. Don't let go. I'm glad my wife didn't even though I deserved it.
2006-11-10 02:18:16 · answer #5 · answered by kantosiuk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but I want to thank you, your husband and your family for the sacrifices you are making to keep this country safe. I don't agree with the war, but I support our troops 100%!!
2006-11-10 02:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by jim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel iffy about this, to be honest. On one hand, he is probably incredibly stressed out (who wouldn't be???) but then on the other hand he shouldn't be taking it out on YOU (especially in your condition). Congrats on the baby and keep looking at things in a positive light....this is something that will pass.
2006-11-10 02:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly that..
Tell him that his being mean to you is driving you away from him.
If he wants to keep you, he needs to stop being mean to you...
You love him and want to continue but he is damaging your love.
2006-11-10 02:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
prozac
2006-11-10 02:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by potato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋