Communication tips for couples??? We need it....?

Question

Counciling is an option...

but what has worked for you????

Thanks!

I find that we are not all effect communicators, but I'm willing to seek advice, listen to a third party, an just read read read online.

I love this man and I want things to work out. We are just so opposites, although they say "they attract"

Answer 1

Opposites most definitely do attract. It is easier to communicate with someone who isn't like you than it is with someone who is. All you both need to learn to do is to talk openly, not blame each other and listen (really listen). There are no great communicators or perfect relationships, but through trial and error and giving a relationship a good solid try has a tendency to work. Two people can always work their issues out, if they really try to understand each other. Life is never straight forward and simple. Everything worth having is worth working for.

Answer 2

One of the key things to communication is learning to listen to your partner...really listen to what they are saying. Communication isn't all about talking but listening as well. Some couples do fine on their own and can learn to communicate more openly but others do much better with counseling. Counseling is really good for the tough topics that tend to lead to fights. In counseling you have a 3rd party who isn't taking sides but just mediating and this can help get through the tough subjects. I think you have to try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and try your best to understand where they are coming from even if you don't agree with them. Being able to agree to disagree is also important to learn. Some things you will never agree on and that's ok. You are 2 individuals trying to make a life together as one couple. It takes work , understanding and a willingness to compromise on both parts. Good Luck with your relationship!

Answer 3

If you can't talk to each other face to face because it might turn into an argument or you might not be getting the words out the way you want.

I would suggest writing letters to each other. That way you both have time to sit down and really think about your response, instead of in the moment.

You know sometimes peoples say things they don't mean when they are upset. Just try it for awhile see how it goes you have nothing to loose but allot to gain.

Answer 4

I would never go to a counselor when all i have to do is sit down and talk to myhusband. I mean these people get paid to just tell us what they have read out of a book. I mean we can basically do the same thing and help ourselves dont' you think. I always say look at yourself first and work on ourselves before we go blaming he is not communicating etc. I always try to change things and take it from there. I have seen a difference in my marriage completely.

Answer 5

Honesty! Sit down and make the time just for you two. You don't need a Therapist to listen to to you talk...unless you are deaf dumb and blind. Your relationship is 110% yours and his, nobody Else's.

First....stay positive!

Tell each other how you feel about each other.,
Why you choose them over any other person in the world to be with.
why you enjoy being loved by them.
why you work to strengthen the relationship.
what it is that you admire about them.
what talents you see in them.
and on always staying positive.


If you have issues about how you talk to each other negatively or how you hurt each other...there is trouble, as this is the root of incompatibility. You both MUST find where the ease of serving up pain to someone you supposedly love comes from and STOP. Don't allow yourself to be hurt and don't allow yourself to inflict pain on another. As soon as your communication becomes negative...someone has hit a nerve! Apologize and move on. Always remember "The ease of serving up pain", if hurting comes so easy, you aren't being honest. There's that word "Honesty", If you "Honestly" love a person, to deliberately hurt them would be most unlikely. If you just say you love them, then
deliberately hurt them, "Honesty" has no home in your heart.

Communicate in the "positive"....if the "negative" persistently rears its ugly head, maybe you both need to re-think your future.

Finally, try to learn things together as often as possible, as a joint venture, staying "One" as that is what your goal is.

Answer 6

Talk & listen.
Also remember men don't really like to discuss feelings. And women tend to get on one topic/subject & not let it go.
My wife & I are opposites, too, & we've been together 14 years & are expecting our third child. It can work, but it takes a lot of diligence on both parts.
Best of luck. Hope it works out for you.

Answer 7

#1****HONESTY**** even if it hurts. counseling only works w/honesty. how long have ya'll been together ? have kids ? what exactly do you mean by opposites ? sometimes, if it is too hard to communicate, too hard to be TOTALLY HONEST about your feelings, a third party can help. but it is only if both of you are comfortable with that. sometimes men don't like to have any one know any THING at all. it is sort of a power thing. believe me, after 22yrs married, i have seen this thing...ask your partner how far he is willing to go to fix/begin to fix things & decide from that point for yourself...
Good Luck & God Bless...
Kat

Answer 8

You have to make a sincere effort to make the relationship work. I do not know if opposites attract or not. I have heard that one way in making a relationship work is to embrace the things you have in common.

During communication do not get angry, that will just f**k everything up.
Work hard, give it your best.

Answer 9

First, understand the goal: the goal of communication is to take the thoughts that are in my head and form those same thoughts in your head.

I've met a lot of women who have said, "But I had to tell him, so it doesn't count." Put that kind of thought out of your head! If you have to tell him for it to "count," then he is stuck with an endless guessing game. A perfect example: when my wife and I were first married, I worked a lot of overtime, because she was accustomed to our dating lifestyle where I would send her to a spa once a month and let her go out with her friends two or three times a week. She wasn't working, so in order for me to support her and keep letting her go out out, I needed to almost double my income. Then one day she told me she wished I didn't have to work so much. I told her the consequence would be fewer outtings with her friends and canceling her spa visits. She picked up the phone, called the spa, and canceled her next appointment right there. That created the same thought in my head that was in hers: time with me was more important than time at the spa. I stopped asking for overtime, which worked out well since I hated working overtime.

Which leads well into the next thing to remember: everything has consequences. A consequence is just something that comes about as a result of an action, be it good or bad. You want him to get a job closer to home? Realize he may need a pay cut. You want him to make more money? Realize he's going to be working longer and harder, and won't have as much time together, and he won't be as romantic. You want him to be more romantic, bringing flowers and candy and cards? Realize that costs money, so you might have to go out less with your friends.

Another thing, it's okay to be selfish when you're telling him what you want, as long as you let him be selfish when he tells you what he wants. Wanting isn't the same as getting. I want a winning lottery ticket, my wife isn't going to be able to give me that. I want to go to a swingers party, she could let me but won't. But she won't hold it against me for asking. I want a threesome, she's more likely to go for that. I want dinner when I get home from work, she always has it ready. She wants a bath filled to the brim with sparkling cider. Sorry, I can't afford that. She wants to take a trip to Japan some day. I might be able to afford that, but I don't like Japanese culture, it's not worth the money to me right now. She wants a backrub. No problem! See how that works?

Another thing... communication almost always works better *after* sex. This goes for both men and women. When you have sex, it releases relaxing endorphins and bonding hormones. You both actually *want* the relationship to work in that moment.

Answer 10

a form of communication is using the middle finger.

ha ha (sorry, just in a WEIRD mood this morning)


talking can be difficult because a man can misinterpret what a woman says, and vice versa... counseling would be a good place to start.