My wife is in her 40's and i'm in my late 30's. the problem being she has had 3 kids from a previous marriage and has been fixed. I yurn to have a child ( the whole making it happen thing with my sperm) watching the baby grow etc, but have been deprived of this and she knows it. I would love to be a father, but her kids are all grown up now so no chance in that. And suggestions or words of advise for confused!
2006-11-10 01:12:33 · 10 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Getting her tubes tied wouldnt affect her sex drive... maybe her being 40 is the cause of that. And although you want kids - 40 is a dangerous age to get pregnant (old eggs). Why dont you adopt?
2006-11-10 01:19:22 · answer #1 · answered by !?!?! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are confused.
Your opening question is about sex drive. But then you go on about how your partner cannot have children with you because she has been sterilised. These are not the same thing at all.
I would think a person's age has more to do with their sex drive than whether or not they have been sterilised.
However i think the deeper question here is whether this is a sustainable relationship given your wanting to have children of your own. Even if she hadn't been sterilised the chances of conceiving a healthy baby naturally grow smaller every day in your 40s and yet you have entered into a relationship with this woman. You must decide what is more improtant for you - being a loving and supporting partner to the woman who supports you, being an important role model for her children or spreading your dna. I cannot answer that question for you. But once you have made your decision you must stick with it. Are you prepared ot go and start a new relationship elsewhere and put in the time and love to build that relationship to the point where it is sensible ot conceive a child. Or can you find a way of living happily with your partner without feeling 'deprived'. There are many ways to be a father without contributing the sperm you know and many children out there needing the love of a good family.
2006-11-10 09:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is cold towards you in bed because you must be driving her mad about having a child she doesn't want. You knew when you married her that she had had the operation to have no more children,so now it's up to you. If your desire to have a child is that strong,then I would suggest that you do your wife a favour and get divorced.It's very unfair of you to keep on about having a baby and that's why she has started pulling away from you emotionally.She feels inadequate.She had the operation to free her sexually to have great sex without the worry of getting pregnant.Now she can't enjoy the sex without the guilt feeling coming into the bedroom.Best part now, and go and find yourself a baby machine and let her find a man who loves her for herself and respects her decisions about her own body.Good luck to her sticking to her guns,there are too many children bought into this world who are not really wanted by the woman,just to please their men.Trouble is nine times out of ten kids don't keep you together anyway,they can often tear you apart.Your thirty,she's forty and in her prime anyway,baby machine or not,let her go and be happy with someone else, in and out of bed,the pressure on her must be enormous.I feel really sorry for her,because she probably really loves you down deep.But the question is
" how much do you love her?"
2006-11-14 02:18:40 · answer #3 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, what does the information have to do with sex drive? Sound to me like you knew up front that she could not have children and you married anyway.
Now you want a child with her. She is very late in life to have one even if she could. Sounds like you want to change the rules of the game after the game has started.
Unless you are hoping someone tells you to divorce you have answered your own question. "but her kids are all grown up now so no chance in that. "
2006-11-10 09:20:07 · answer #4 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You knew this when you married correct? Sounds like you dont know what you want. And unfortunately she will pay the price. How selfish could you be? If I were you I would be down on my knees to her. Say you are sorry and move on like there is no tomorrow. What you did was wrong! Nothing can stand on lies! Grow up. Learn from this. You and her will be better off.
2006-11-10 09:36:26 · answer #5 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's not a dog, you know. she didn't get "fixed". and what's youre real problem, low sex drive or that you cant have your own baby. you've been "deprived" of this! did you not know she couldnt have kids before you married? so stop whining, if it mattered so much to you, you shouldnt have gotten married
2006-11-10 09:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if and only if you and her have a child do not consider an anonymous sperm donor.because of genetic health problems later in this child's life. their are many difficult decisions for you to make and many emotional dangers. involved. this has happened in my family family and there were no bad repercussions that resulted but they can happen such as changes of affection and jealousy involved
2006-11-10 09:38:23 · answer #7 · answered by houdini 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the whole excitement is seeing something grow from a seed, plant a grapefruit pit.
2006-11-10 09:21:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could always adopt. There are plenty of kids who need a good home and once you adopt a child they will be yours.
2006-11-10 09:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have my tubes tied and it has no effect on my sex life. I can tell you this I do reqret doing it, iwish i had never done it. I wish i can go back and change my mind.
2006-11-10 09:44:42 · answer #10 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋