would divorce rates drop if marriages were harder to get?

Question

the easier something is to get the less we appreciate it. ok, this is how it usually happens... two people meet, date, and fall in love. then they get married. the major mistake that people make is that any problems encountered will work themselves out. they won't. marriage takes work. work with communication of your needs, work with sexual frustration, work with financancial planning. way too many people leave their marriages on auto pilot instead of sitting down at a table and saying what needs to be said; their expectations, fears and concerns. eventually these problems manifest themselves in different ways and the marriage is doomed. i believe that people would have stronger marriages (= lower divorce rates) if they had to fight to get married in the first place. essentially the bride and groom should be tested on their commitment, character, and ability to solve problems together by couples who are already married. if they don't pass the tests then they don't get to be married.

Answer 1

I totally agree with you!! I love the test idea! I think that there should be many more steps required prior to walking down that aisle. And those quickie Vegas marriages should either be outlawed or be changed - perhaps, making them an interim marriage... like after a year you would have to validate the marriage to make it final.... heck, all marriages should be like that, not just the Vegas ones.

... now im going to sound like a lunatic... but i think that pregnancies should be monitored also. I think it should be mandated that all females at the age of 13 must get Norplant (birth control) implanted and to have it removed, you need to go through a series of mental, physical, emotional and financial tests.

Answer 2

its not likely that more difficult marriages would constitute less divorce. Back in the day women didn't have jobs and if they did it didn't pay well so if her husband was abusive or an unbearable controlling *** hole she couldn't get away. Now if people would learn to self reflect and question to them selves why did my spouse leave (now I understand not all situations are the same but a lot are) then that would be a good start and if people were taught from an early age that if they do decide to get married that it is a very serious commitment and that vowes are more than words that might help. If any one or thing is to blame it would be society and moral values of the America. Just to clarify I never said that those who divorce are wrong or bad cause it happens and some times it truly is for the best but if you want to lower the numbers of divorce there are several factors to be looked at.

Answer 3

Very interesting question. My Dad is a Methodist minister and has done hundreds of weddings in his 35 plus year career. He takes the sanctity of marriage very seriously and requires the engaged couples to go through an interview process with him and meet at least 3 more times for instructional sessions about dealing with hardships that are inevitable.

If they don't pass the interview or full fill the sessions then he will not perform the wedding. It has put him in a tough spot with church members and friends, but he believes in his responsibility.

It makes no sense that you have to go through a two week class and pass a written and physical test to drive a car but do nothing prepare yourself for arguable the biggest day in your life.

Celebrities plow through spouses like flies on s#*% and I believe that the breakdown in marriages is the leading cause of the deterioration of society.

Your beliefs, morals, and work ethic all are formed in the home and with the shape the world is in today its no surprise we are digressing at a rapid rate.

Great question!

Answer 4

I've always thought that mandatory premarital counseling would prevent a lot of divorces. That way, you would deal with important issues before they arise and a professional would be there to help you work it out. You would know before you got married if you have differences with your future mate that can't be resolved.

I also thing that Americans, as a culture, suffer from ADD and can't keep their attention on anything longer than five minutes. They hit a rough patch and, BOOM, divorce. Meet someone new, fall in love, marry, hit a rough patch and, BOOM, divorce again.

The saddest part of the entire thing is that the kids are seeing this from their parents and will never know what it is to work through a crisis in a relationship without running away.

Answer 5

Well, that's a great idea but already more and more people are choosing to live together and NOT to get married because of the high divorce rates. This would only cause the same problem...less marriages.

Answer 6

In a simple word... yes. But at the same time I don't think people should be stopped from doing what they want to do... At the end of the day I know that marriage takes a lot of work but if people want to make the silly mistake of getting hitched without truely thinking about it then let em....

Oh and no... people shouldn't be "tested" for marriage... we would turn into a granny state... and a lot of people would get pissed off!

Answer 7

making it more difficult to get married, only places the emphasis on the challenge to achieve that goal and let's face it, some marriages are actually based on that "winning" factor.... the best course of action IMHO is to require the couple to take educational classes that touch on communication, financial planning, sexual aspects... etc. and the couple would need to get a passing grade!! They would also need to take "personality" tests for compatibility. Marriage is a partnership... couples need to stop fighting for who's in "control" and work more as a team.