any funny sayings? or smart comments?

Question

something like,
"face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
or
"i could have sh*t through the eye of a needle."
things like that
thanks

Answer 1

Face like a bulldog liking p*ss off a nettle!
(if you're talking and you get your words mixed up) - Another spoke like that and i'll have a wheel.
You look like the back end of a bus.
I'll rip off your head and sh*t down your neck.
You fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
(burp) - Pardon me for being so rude, it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.
There's a party in my pants and you're all invited!

Answer 2

(person 1) Ya know what I don't get?
(person 2) That's too wide a range of topics to explore right now... why don't ya just tell us?

That place was packed tighter than a Jenny Craig convention in a VW bug....

He's about as smart as a box of rocks.

When you get old they say the first thing to go is your memory... I can't remember the other two....

Have you ever noticed that all the people who are against abortion are already born?

Sex is perhaps one of the most intimate and spiritually gratifying things money can buy.

Guns don't kill people husbands that come home early do....

I ain't never gonna be caught using no improper English.
( I actually had a teacher say that, although he was kinda stoned at the time, or something)

Answer 3

Funny Bulldog Sayings

Answer 4

"sorry i'll be busy that day, poking needles in my eyes" or how about, when asked if you have seen a particular program on T.V. reply with a comment like " the one with (some thing about the program)" then when they excitedly say yes did you see it reply "no".
You obviously have to know something of what they are referring to or you have to be a good bluffer. This can work for a number of situations and timing is crucial. Try it out.

Answer 5

She had a fanny like a badly packed Kebab
Face like a melted Wellie, or well chewed Caramel
With teeth like that you could eat an Apple through a Tennis racket
She could suck a Golf ball through a Hospipe
When she took her Bra off it pulled all the wrinkles out of her face

Sorry about the sexist ones, but if you take them at face value they are funny!!

Answer 6

wheels turning but the hamsters dead has the whole 6pack but missing the plastick thingy to hold it all together sharp as a tack not the brightest bulb on the porch not the brigheest crayon in the box nor the sharpest

Answer 7

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

Why do men call us birds? Because we pick up worms.

A woman is like a teabag. You'll never know her strength until you put her in hot water.

Answer 8

I'd rather staple my lip to my eyelid than answer this question! Its times like this I wished I lived in Blackpool - they'd have a dummy there big enough for you!



PS- don't take offence - just answerin the question. lol

Answer 9

SMART *** ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
**********************************************************************

Answer 10

thought for graduates "a thermometer is'nt the only thing that gets a degree without brain" the wish of all science students "newton must have sat under a coconut tree"