Is there hope after an affair? I had one but back with my husband.?

Answer 1

Look there is hope, but it is going to take a lot of hard work on both of your parts. First of all both of you should set up a marriage counseling session. Then you both will have to do some serious talking and decide how you both can help each other and love each other more. There is going to have to be a lot of forgiveness. It is going to be hard, but the part of forgiving is that you both will never bring this up when you have disagreements. Learning to forgive and forget is hard. You both should put your trust in the Lord and ask him to help you get through these hard times. Lets face it, The Lord will be with you all the time no matter what and he will forgive you. The hardest part of forgiving is forgetting and you both trying to help each other out. I promise you if you do this and put forth a strong effort your marriage will last. God Bless you and your husband.

Answer 2

There is always hope for a marriage after an affair if you and hubby both can forgive totally and move on. It doesn't mean he will never forget, but he will not bring it up during a fight or argument; he will not constantly throw it up to you when he gets upset because you are alittle late getting home from somewhere, or you happen to speak to another male in passing, or things like that. It will take alot of work on your part to regain his trust, but this is one of the sacrifices that you have to make if you are really serious about making your marriage work and not ever having another affair as long as you are married to him.
You must both remember the love that brought you together early in your relationship and remember the things about each other that made you fall in love with each other and decide that you both wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. You must almost start back at that point and rebuild your relationship.
You have to remember that not only you were affected by this affair....unless you used a condom every time you were with this other person, you put not only yourself...but your husband also...at risk for getting an STD or at the worst, HIV or AIDS. For general safety sake, you should both get tested soon to make sure that this will not crop up as a surprise months or years down the line.
You must be totally honest not only with hubby, but with yourself too, and if you even think there might ever be a remote possibility that you would ever have another affair outside of your marriage....then you need to end the marriage right now and spare your husband of the pain of another betrayal from you.
He also has a job.....he needs to forgive you and not retaliate by having his own affair to "get even".
You both need to remember why you got married and then focus on each other and any children you have, if any, and create a warm and safe family structure.
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 3

There's always "hope." It takes A LOT of work to build the trust back up but you can. I've heard that some marriages are even stronger after an affair because you have to focus on the relationship you are trying to save so much. Couseling can help, too. Most importantly is honest, open communication. Good luck!

Answer 4

It depends. I can tell you that I had an affair when I was married and my husband found out and we ended up divorcing. I then went on to be in many relationships, including another marriage, none of which were ever as fulfilling as my first husband's and mine. That was 25 years ago and I miss him sorely to this day (indeed as my life goes on, I look back and very much regret being so stupid). If you examine your motives here, you'll get your answer. If my husbnd had taken me back, it would have been a wonderful lifelong marriage because that affair opened my eyes about him.

Answer 5

My ex-wife and I weren't able to salvage it after her affair, but I it's possible.
The one thing that would have made it possible in our case is if she had been completely honest about it at the time.
It's a horrible time for one cheated on and they feel absolutely lost and don't know how to handle it. To make matters worse they don't get the full story.
Here's my advice, arraign a time with no interruptions, explain that you love him dearly and don't want to go your separate ways.
Tell him that you will answer any questions he has completely and honestly, and I mean completely and honestly. Do not give half truths or omit details, if he discovers that you weren't honest he will feel he can never trust you again, tell him things he didn't even know.
Take it from a person with experience, I would find out something, confront her, she would admit only to what I could prove and deny all else. I would do a little more detective work and discover she was lying again, she admit that one but deny everything else, this would go on for weeks until I could prove every point.
I honestly feel like if she had told me the honest truth, good, bad, or ugly. I could have dealt with it in time and moved on. But honestly the lying was worse than the affair.
Good luck

Answer 6

you broke your husbands trust, and this is the biggest betrayal of all, but it depends on the person if they feel they can get past all of those nagging doubts that will at times re surface especially in arguments....it will be brought back up....but i suppose there is hope if it can be put well behind both of you....only thing now is there is a possibility that your conscience wont allow to let go of the idea that your husband could do the same thing too.

Answer 7

I had an affair too and confessed to my husband. I asked for forgiveness and he saw how earnestly regretful I was. He chose to forgive me. Our marriage has been better than ever. Let me tell you, we couldn't of done it w/o the Lord. We're reading the Bible, going to church, praying together & seeking God in everything in our life. And I have seen BIG differences.
Also a book that helped me was "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. Very good.

I pray the best for you & hubby.

God Bless.

Answer 8

Only if he can forgive you completely. This does not mean that he has to trust you again, it is your job to rebuild that trust.

You need to be over cautious about your behaviour. Keep no secrets from him. Let him read your sms's (don't delete any) leave you email accounts active etc. He is going to ask you "Who was that" after a phone call etc. When he asks you those q's he is not checking up on you, he is rebuilding that trust (slowly).

You have already committed to honour him, which you have breached. There are consequences for your actions, loss of trust is one of them. I am not trying to lecture you, I am sure you feel bad about it already. If he is still with you, it is obvious he loves you. There is hope.

Don't expect him to be as openminded and as accepting as it use to be. Especially of your male friends.

Answer 9

well first figure out why?

then try to fix that issue.

if you love your family you'll give up the BS

if not your ruining things for the 2 of you, and your kids.

just decide if you want the family more than whatever else your seaching for?

If so then there is Hope afterall.

Good luck

meg
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Answer 10

If your husband is forgiving and understanding, yes. Just remember this in case you get the urge to stray again. This first indiscretion had already cause you some credabilty with your husband, so if you do it again and he finds out, I think you will lose him forever.