If you were making love to your (wife) and she just lay there with no excitement, no life in her body, and with her eyes closed, what would you do to change this?
2006-11-09 23:23:57 · 37 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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2006-11-09 23:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't give much information here so it's hard to see the problem clearly i.e. how long have you been married,how old are you,have you any children,what nationality are you etc.
The only thing I would suggest is, take your wife out maybe for a meal if that's what she likes.Somewhere you can talk.Half the problems with couples of today is communication, especially in the bedroom.
When a woman just lays there and shows no emotion,believe me,she just wants it over as quickly as possible.Be gentle in your approach to the subject,don't just dive into the conversation.Some women find it extremely difficult to show their feeling. How did she respond to sex before marriage,or did'nt you do it?Making love is an art which having reached 6O myself now, know by speaking to different women throughout that time, some men never get a degree in.
If you really want to keep this marriage in tact, you must find out the reason she does'nt respond sexually to you.I wish you luck,I don't like to think of people splitting up,just because they cannot communicate with each other.DO TALK TO HER, she must be just as unhappy about the lovemaking as you.
2006-11-13 17:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely obvious to me ... TALK TO HER about it! I'd want to know WHY she was feeling that way. I certainly wouldn't want to make love to ANYONE if they were getting no pleasure from it and I certainly wouldn't want anyone doing me any favours in the bedroom department if they were going to lie there like a dead body. Where's the fun/pleasure in THAT?!
Communication is SO important in ANY relationship especially when this kind of thing happens. Find out WHY and if it's because she is DEFINITELY no longer interested in sex, then you have to decide whether or not you can have an open relationship and look elsewhere for the physical release you want/need, to go behind her back and get it anyway (not advisable) or even leave her and go your own separate ways.
But the best thing by far is to talk to her and find out WHY ok?
Good luck and hope it works out for the both of you soon.
2006-11-09 23:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by mancunian_nick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What happens if you kiss her or give her a hug - does she go all limp and lifeless then?
Making love isn't just about having sex, it should be a continuation of your expression of love through hugging and kissing. In my bok there is no such thing as 'foreplay' it is all making love from the first kiss to the contented cuddle afterwards. If you re not making love like this- or heaven forbid missing out on all the delicious bits before penetration then i am not surprised she is not respnding but just waiting for you to finish.
Although it does sound as if she does not regard sex as something she can/should enjoy with you. Worth finding out why this is don't you think? But be prepared for some answers you might not like.
2006-11-10 00:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by Leapling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres a problem here. Obviously your wife isn't enjoying it. Don't immediately blame youre self but you two may need to talk about this with a professional counsellor/ sex thearapist. Reaction to sex is influenced by religious beliefs parental attitudes and ability. If youre wife used to be more active then perhaps theres been other things going on that you need to resolve. But seek professional ( not the oldest) help.
2006-11-09 23:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by The Guru 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not called Making Love it is called rolling on then rolling off.
Try focussing on her needs (which may not be in the bedroom) ask her if there is anything that you could do for her. A back rub, foot rub. As hard is it may be, take the sex thing off the agenda for a while and focus on pampering her.
If she does not respond to you maybe suggest some counselling.
2006-11-09 23:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by Triestobewise 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
been there and man is that a difficult place.
I would romance things up. try this:
Go out and buy her, a dozen roses, a garterbelt and some vintage nylon RHTstockings (RHT stockingsOn ebay) and gift wrap it up.
when you get home give her the flowers and gift and profess your sincere love, and ask her to change into the lingerie as you are taking her to dinner.
Take her to dinner and tell her you lover so much and you want to rekindle the romance and lovemaking and ask her how YOU can help her be more satisfied. ( be careful of the response you give to her answer, basically agree)
then go home light some candles and slowly give her lots of foreplay and time to warm up.
Good luck
should work!!
2006-11-10 09:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk about it. Talk to your wife tell her about your feelings. It is an insult to to have intimacy to a person without any response I might as well sleep in the other room and forget about it. The wife has to learn you have needs and to satisfy that needs you need her help. It will cause you undue stress if it persist, resolve it now and both of you will enjoy.
2006-11-10 00:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. You are probably not pleasuring her or she has issues with sex. She might not feel comfortable telling you what feels good. If she's never told you what feels good, I can garentee you that you are not pleasuring her properly. Even if you've been told by other women. Every woman is different and has different likes and dislikes.
Start the conversation by telling her what feels good during sex. What's stimulating? What's not? See how she reacts. If she gets in embarassed, you've caught the issue; she's not comfortable with her sexuality.
2006-11-09 23:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
perhaps she does alot all day & is tired by the time
you get imtimate, get her a membership to a gym so she can exercise & get some energy & if you'd like join it w/ her (some gyms have two for one prices/deals)
if that does NOT work then tell her how beautiful she is &
how much you love her, maybe she feels low(about herself) and once you change how she feels about herself she may act different
good luck!
2006-11-09 23:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would switch things up. Sex gets boring if you don't spice it up. It becomes the same old thing. Ask her if she'd like to try something new. What you can do to excite her more?
2006-11-09 23:42:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋