When ever I say anything about my wife she shrugs it off and has said she does not like it. So I don't do anything along those lines then she gets the shits because I am not paying her enough attention.
What the @@@@ is the go?
2006-11-09 23:21:40 · 14 answers · asked by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love having my husband compliment me, but I don't know how to react. This is what goes on in my head - "If I react will he think I think too highly of myself? That I'm stuck up? Vain? If I don't react will he think I hate it or him?" In other words, it's a struggle with HOW to react.
When we were first married I didn't have great self-esteem. I didn't believe in myself or think positively about myself. So when he would compliment me I wouldn't believe it. I would think he was just saying that to make me feel better but the truth was that I still was nothing. I would brush off his compliments, shrug them off, say I don't like it. But inside I NEEDED to hear it.
It used to bother my husband. He thought he'd just better stop. That made me feel like I really was a nobody and that I was right - he was only saying it and not meaning it. It frustrated him to the point that he finally brought it up to me. We communicated about it. He didn't come up to me out of frustration or anger. He brought it up lovingly and told me that it bothered him when I did that. But that what bothered him more was WHY I don't like it. He wanted me to be happy, to have self-esteem, to see that I am exactly what he says I am to him. That he loves me. That changed my wholw perspective. Communication is the key to everything.
Now most of the time I will say "Stop it" but have a huge smile on my face, blushing, and hiding my face. I like it but still don't know how to react. I still struggle with that "how to react" nonsense. But I'm getting better. Over time I am learning to allow my broad smile to show and wrap my arms around him and say "Thank you." It's taking time, but don't all things?
Our marriage just gets better and better over the years - like fine wine. It's because we communicate about everything.
Talk to your wife. Approach her not in anger or frustration, but with a loving, caring heart. Communicate. :)
2006-11-10 00:11:52 · answer #1 · answered by Annie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love to be complimented, its nice when people do it. I don't know anyone male or female that doesn't like it. Sometimes if you over do it, it can get a bit annoying and you can think that the person is just saying it for the sake of saying it. But if you do it every now again and especially when a special effort has been made then I see nothing wrong with that.
2006-11-09 23:31:34 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah secretely they all do, but just compliments will be shrugged off, you need to buy her a gift. and some nice things. Its the only way.
2006-11-09 23:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the same thing from wife. Howevere I can tell you that although they seem to dismiss what compliments you may pay her, she hears them. So why when you don't, she hears them too. Just keep chugging along and let her know that she looks great in those jeans, or what ever.
2006-11-09 23:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ofcourse a girl loves to be complimented as when your lover compliments you at that time it gives a girl feeling that she is at the top of the world and to be sure about it a girl says that " dont compliment me as i know what i am" but it means that she really wants to know that whatever you are saying is from your heart or just to impress her. if you still compliments her then she loves you for that but rarely she shows her joys in such matters. its saying that " when a girl says no then it means yes". so hope u understood that now what you have to do/.
2006-11-09 23:27:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone loves compliments..now how each individual receives them varies..not everyone will be as accepting but at the sametime we all look forward to the validation as a person..So keep up with the compliments....
2006-11-10 00:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every human being likes to be complimented. It sounds like your wife is suffering from self esteem problems. She wants to hear it but, she can't believe it. This is something she has to work on herself. You have to support her and continue to tell her what you think is great about her and why you married her.
2006-11-09 23:29:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, yes girls like being complimented but ur wife probably shrugged off urs bcos she thinks u try to flatter her mayb bcos u dont do so with feeling, u just throw it at her. uve got to say it like u mean it.
2006-11-09 23:45:10 · answer #8 · answered by June 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that all women like compliments. My guess is your telling her at inappropriate times or saying it with a tone that needs convincing.
2006-11-10 02:06:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well im not a girl but it has been my experiance that girls like to be complimented in private not when you are in public, so just take her a rose every once in a while
quick fix but it works
2006-11-09 23:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by dragongml 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋