I am becoming confused by my friends actions, she constantly tells me i'm her best mate, and that she wouldn't know what to do without me, however when it comes to spending any sort of social time with her, she wants to be part of a bigger crowd and will happily ignore for hours, i really want say she's my best mate too, and she has helped me through alot, but i sometimes feel i'm being used, so she knows she has someone to fall back on if all else goes wrong, i'll still be there.
any serious ideas on what i could do?
2006-11-09 22:52:04 · 14 answers · asked by Curiously strong mints 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I am a very quiet person, and to me being with a big crowd is quite daunting and i dread it, she knows this.
its not so much wanting the attention, i just feel that if she is my "best friend" dont you think she should act more like it a bit?
2006-11-09 23:03:15 · update #1
Some people like to socialize,they want to involve in to big group, in this case,its your friend.
Some people like to be with just close friends and talk, in this case,its YOU.
These are human nature,she not using you,she do feel that you are her best mate,that why she help you,but she not the type that stay close just to that one person because she think that having a huge crowd is fun.
You are her top priority,thats for sure.She doesn't mean to ignore you,she doesn't realize it.Talk to her about this if you cherish,honesty is very important,if will affect your friendship if you keep hiding your feeling.
2006-11-09 23:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A best friend is your most trusted friend, you have to ask yourself, do you trust her above all your other friends. It may well be that she's just different from you and enjoys being in big crowds, if you don't like it then you can't really expect her to have to sit in the corner with you. Talk to her, explain that you often feel left out, but don't worry to much about it, I hardly spend any time with my best friend since we went to separate sixth forms, but I still love her and know she's there for me when I need her, she clearly does want to be a good friend, just your idea of having fun is different
2006-11-10 11:18:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a quiet person as well, and I've had friends who did me the same thing. I just accepted that they were more sociable than me but I am a private person and let it go; be by yourself and those who really want to know you, they'll come to you.
A better way to find friends is by just branch off and look for other girls that need friends. Hang out with all the cliques in your school and make friends from each group. This way at least one person, from each group will be your friend and like your hobbies and interests.
2006-11-10 08:39:32 · answer #3 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that you appreciate quality time alone with her and that it means a lot to you. If she truly is a friend, she will want to give you this time.
If you dislike crowds, you should simply avoid these gatherings and stay home with a book, or try to make other friends, at evening courses in languages or cooking or whatever.
Good luck!
2006-11-10 08:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by simon2blues 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are feeling a little neglected by your friend. Tell her you would like to spend some time with just the two of you together. She probably doesn't realize that you are more needy than she is in wanting individual attention.
2006-11-10 06:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you might be right or that perhaps you should join the bigger crowd as well. We cant just have one friend plenty of people out there
2006-11-10 06:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a best friend for 15 years,but last year we had the biggest fight,major fight,something i wish now i could go back in time and change,she was like my sister,well i just buried her 2months ago,we didnt talk for a year,not even b4 she passed,its the biggest regret of my life,so talk to her,because you never know what will happen around the corner,good luck,dont have regrets like me,friends are forever,
2006-11-10 07:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by kristy m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spend time with other people and not be so available, i know what you man as i know someone who is the same, and i feel a bit used, she wants me when others are not around well, best to not always be their for them, theirs other nice people around who will like you take care Denise.
2006-11-10 07:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by guysmithdenise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your real best friend she would want to spend time with you. She might also be using you.
2006-11-10 12:12:38 · answer #9 · answered by Naughti_but_nice16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody's perfect, sometime we also didn't realised that what have we done to our friends, maybe for us, it is acceptable but for our friends ?... The best way is to find a suitable time and talk from you heart sincerely and please do it professionally.
2006-11-10 07:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by yusdz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋