Ok...I'm currently dating this boy whom I met online, it's along distance relationship (i'm in St. Louis and he's in Chicago) and we are both willing to make it work. I've grown fond of this boy and i'm excited to see where our relationship will go....but (there's always a dreaded "but")...i was seeing this other boy during the summer, and i pretty much fell in love with him and he broke my heart. He broke me so bad that i would have rather chewed my own arm off than deal with the heartache. The other night this boy got online and told me that the only reason he broke up with me was because he was scared of falling in love with me. He also told me that he knew, without a doubt, that he could stop the petty dating because everything he's looking for he's already found in me but that he's so scared of what that would lead to. I do still care for him a lot, and i could see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but i'm also in a new relationship. What should I do?
2006-11-09 22:01:38 · 7 answers · asked by Dustin L 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'd be cautious with the old flame, sounds like he's scared of commitment. You could renew a friendship, but keep it VERY casual. You still need alittle time to see if you trust he's telling the truth and to see where this new relationship is going. One of these fellows might be the ONE for you, you just can't tell yet. If I was in your situation, I would hold the old one as a friend right now (you already know what kind of lover he is--and you do not want to cheat on your new one) and explore the new one to it's fullest. The old one let you go first. If he really cares for you as he professes, he will wait with/for you. You need alittle more time to sort things out, and this could test the old ones mettle. He could be rebounding from a crushing relationship and just be looking for a familiar place to hang. Time will show you this, do not be blinded by emotions, protect your heart and health. Good luck.
2006-11-09 22:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by truckinotter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy really cared for you as much as he says he did, why did he put you through all that hurt in the first place? Even if he cared for you then, it was selfish of him to break things off with you (without telling you the real reason) to sort out his own feelings or whatever. Why did it take him so long to tell you that he loves you?
Seems to me that he's perhaps subconsciously just making sure you'll be there as a sorta safety net (sorry if i sound harsh), so that if nothing works out, he has you. I mean, you both have spent time together and he knows what you're like. Besides, from what i know about guys, if they really like a girl, they won't let her go, no matter what.
If you feel that this guy is worth a second shot,you have to ask yourself : If you do get back together and he does the same thing to you again, will you be able to deal with it a second time?
Good luck. I hope things work out the way you want : )
2006-11-10 06:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by creativitee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok. Looks like you're in for a toss-up of some sorts now.
You can talk to both and tell them you're dating around and looking, so you're not exactly ready to get into a committed, exclusive r/s yet. OR you can choose to keep a secret and continue to further your r/s with each guy until you have enough information to make a choice.
The guy who broke your heart is a dangerous choice because emotions are ruling your head and you heart now. Love is blind... and if he does this once he might just do it again. And ask yourself, can you deal it the SECOND time if the first time hurts so bad? Are you willing to give yourself up for some risk of getting hurt just to be with the one you think you love?
Most people could ALWAYS see themselves spending the rest of their life with this current Mr. Right, but what they don't realise is that what they expect and what they eventually might get can be TOTALLY different. Always be prepared to be badly disappointed...though I'm not saying there's no chance of riding off into the sunset happily with him.
Since the guy you're dating now is a LDR, you can keep him hanging on the line until you're completely sure to cut him off. Willing to make it work is NOT enough, it has to take so much more..trust, chemistry, honesty etc.. And what's more you guys haven't really physically dated yet.
I say, go for the one you love, but this time, don't wear your heart on your sleeve and approach things slow and steady. Good luck!
2006-11-10 06:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by vintageprincess72 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all why do you keep refering to him as a " boy " ? If its an age thing stop now while your ahead ,
seams to me long distance relationships rarely work out in the long term , Also now that you are involved in a new relationship and seemingly moving on with your life I'd say keep on moving ..... the way you are .
Also does your current partner know you have such feelings for this " boy " ? If not have you concidered his feelings ? Does not sound it ! Sounds as though you need to do some soul searching about yourself before becomming to involved in any long termed relationship...
2006-11-10 06:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by nygayart 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi from experience the long distance thing does not work, thought i was so in love with someone i met on line and trying to defend our relationship by stating how well you really get to know someone when sex isn't involved yet and you talk for hours where you may not have if you met um local....until we met and she was nut-ten like what i thought and what she said.so unless you spend physical time with them you don't know that person,,please trust me on this one...Bye Deb
2006-11-10 07:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by deb s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."
2006-11-10 08:15:18 · answer #6 · answered by Bearable 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let me guess, your gay.
2006-11-10 06:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by DASH 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋