I'm so bumbed out...I'm 9 weeks pregnant....?

Question

And i have mixed emotions about my preg.
I juz told my boyfriend i was pregnant, he told me dat we werent ready to have a baby cuz i dont have a job and he was juz planning to go to da police academy, but said we r not ready n dat i shouldnt have thiz baby. I want to, im 23 yrs old n im not getting any younger, im an only child n i know my mom would love to have a grandchild,she said she will support me with any decision i make, im keeping it, even though my BF wont help me n doesnt even want to know anything bout me now, and neither does his mom...
but i juz been feeling so depressed n down, n i havent even told my mom he gone for good now.I've been thinking about adoption, cuz i really dont know if i can do it all by myself.....wat can i do?

I know english very well...I just write it like that because it is easier and faster to type....and that doesn't mean I talked or write like this at any of my past jobs...SO WAT EVER!

well may b dats why I said I had mixed emotions!!!! DUH!

THANX SO MUCH GUYS!! i CRIED AS I READ EVERY ONE OF UR ANSWERS, I KNOW IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR ME TO ACCEPT MY POSITION AS A SINGEL MOM...iM KEEPING MY BABY. I JUZ PRAY TO GOD DAT ALL GOES WELL. THANX AGAIN..LUV 'YALL

Answer 1

Take all the support that you can get from your family/mom. and take one day at a time. Remember to try to stay calm for the baby. I was a nervous nellie and my baby had colic, no idea if the two had anything to do with each other, but I sure dont want you to risk it. 4 months of crying was what she did. Good luck

Answer 2

Girl your 23! Not a little girl! Pregnancy is not a mistake its meant to be! This is your baby and yours alone, no abortion! no adoption! You are the little angel’s mother and it’s your responsibility! You have your mom behind you! Someday when your 50, you’ll look at your child and your grandchild and think of how lucky you are to have them. Think of yourself, would you have been happy if your mother gave you up for adoption or had a abortion, put yourself in your baby position. My friend had an abortion 5 years ago and still today she hates herself. If you look on the internet, how many are looking for there children or visa versa. Pull yourself together and get a job and remember God will be with you, make wise choices. About the stupid x-bf, forget about him but don’t let him off the hook, keep records of all the doctors appointments est., keep all your slips, then when the time is right you take him to court because its his responsibility to. Good luck and remember...the little angel is your blood and it belongs to you and pregnancy is a miracle, take your give from God and use it to the best... You go girl.

Answer 3

it sounds like you have decided to keep the baby, so you already know what to do.

If the father has reacted like this then you and the child are better off without him. Although it could be shock, which he may get over; but that doesn't mean you should wait for him. I wouldn't take him back, but that is me.

Having a child is the scariest and most rewarding thing you will ever do. And while the struggles a single parent face are huge, it sounds like you have good support with your mother. If this is the case it might be worth asking if you can stay with her, if not they I am sure she will be on hand when you need her.

I understand that you feel down now, of course you would...you are faced with a pregnancy you weren't expecting, and a father who is acting like a big jerk. it is ok to feel down.

There is support for single parents out there, there is even support groups, not so much for councelling but getting together with people who face the same struggles you do.

I am sure that you will be a great mother, because it seems you have really thought this out. It shows your strength to not be bullied into to something you aren't sure you can live with. Of that I am proud of you.

Answer 4

You sound very frightened and confused. It sounds as though you have made the first hard decision and are not going to have an abortion. Good for you. Time to sit down and have a talk with your Mom. I bet she already suspects that the rat has left you high and dry. Have you seen a doctor yet? You need to start getting regular medical care. Tell your doctor about your feelings of depression and perhaps he will know of a group you could join of other young women like yourself so that you can work out your problems. I am glad to see you thinking about adoption as it is a good alternative, you do have some time before you have to decide. Your Mom sounds like she would love to be closer to you and she will be a good sounding board while you make this huge decision. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

It's normal to have mixed emotions. In fact, the hormone changes will cause all kinds of emotional turmoil. It's okay to be depressed, especially since you are in a tough situation.
However, there are a few points you need to consider.
1) 23 is barely getting started, I know people who didn't have their children until they were in their 30's.
2) If it's up to you and your mom to raise the baby, then talk with her and be extremely frank as to what she's and you are willing to do, baby's and kids are a HUGE amount of work and if you are not willing to put the baby's needs and emotional stability before your own, then you need to reconsider raising the baby yourself.
3) It's okay if your moral compass doesn't agree with abortion. That does not mean you are not pro choice, it just means it may not be YOUR choice. (just wanted you to know that you do have permission not to have an abortion if you don't want to. and if you feel that's the best course of action, you have permission to do it as well.)
4) It's okay if you want to keep it also.
And if you decide to carry the baby to term, whether it's to give it to a good home, or keep it, then PLEASE take care of yourself. Get rest, eat right, see a doctor, don't drink and don't smoke and don't do drugs....at very least, don't do it while your pregnant.

Good luck.

Answer 6

it sounds like you really want this baby. if that's the case then decision already made love, you'd never be able to abort or give the child up for adoption.
the real question should be 'how the hell do i cope raising a child by myself?'...that's what's stressing you out. try not to worry about it, you will, plenty do. you'll have the support of your family. just take things day to day and enjoy your pregnancy....it won't be easy, but just remember men generally make hard work harder!

glad you've made peace with your decision babe. use this time to cover your bases....
1. make sure you have somewhere secure to live.
2. your employment
3. your independence (ie, if you cannot already drive, learn as this is very handy).
there are many other things to consider, but these are your top 3 you wanna sort out b4 baby arrives.
i wish you all the luck in the world, enjoy your pregnancy and your baby.

Answer 7

Abortion and adoption are hard choices, and just remember you will have to live with your choice for the rest of your life.

You don't really make a lot of sense...you said "i want to, im 23 n im not getting any younger" and then you say "I really dont know if I can do it all by myself"....but your mom would love to have a grandchild?

All I can say is good luck, but the only person that can make your decision is you.

Answer 8

KEEP IT if thats what YOU want.

Well, you are 23 and you want to keep the baby. There are many younger women, even girls, that are having babies and keeping them without the help of the dead beat dad. If your ex is going to be a cop he had better make sure he is a part of the baby's life or his occupation will suffer. I know first hand and I am trying to be a part of my childs life. Your mom will be more than willing to help, even if it isn't evident when you first tell her. If you want to keep the baby, there are more resources around than you will ever use. You won't be alone. Oh, and if your ex decides to be a cop, he will have to put your baby on his benifits as well as pay child support. I say keep it if thats what YOU want to do. And screw his mom, her opinion does not mean a damn thing. Keep your chin up. You are having a baby!

Answer 9

hey Hun. You shouldnt be worried or scared okay. This baby was meant to come to you for a reason. Everything happens for a reason so dont doubt that you cant look after your baby. You baby will be the most amazing thing in your world when you give birth and you have so much to look forward to. It is such a great life experience, and the LOVE that your baby will give you is endless as is the LOVE that you will give your baby. It is all undescribable. Its amazing. You should thank the angels for sending you your baby, with or without the father around. Its doesnt matter. All your baby needs is you, the one that will love him from the moment you lay eyes on him. Goodluck with everything.. you wont need it though! it will all work out 4 u. You will have a beautiful baby who will be your whole world. Just be strong! Xx

Answer 10

You will have to make a decision and be prepared to live with it.

There is nothing wrong with adoption, in general. At least you know the kid would be going to someone who wants it and can afford to take care of it. There actually isn't anything wrong with abortion, either in my opinion. Don't confuse the acorn with the oak tree, and there's too many people in the world as it is, though it's getting kinda late for it.

Forget about your Mom for a minute. You need to think about how much time and effort it takes to raise a kid right. Money, patience, embarrasment, lack of a social life, and it'll be much harder to find a companion. This is an 18 year sentance you're bringing upon yourself, so don't do it unless you're prepared to take complete responsibility for another human being and give it a fair chance.