How can I improve our sex life?

Question

I have been with my partner for 8 yrs and we hardly ever have sex. It is mainly because I do not feel like it! When we do have sex I do not really enjoy it much. He gets overexcited and it is all over before I can even start to get into it. I know he can do other things which he does, we are open minded and try various stuff. I do, however, feel like I would like better penetrative sex instead of it always being a disappointment.

Any ideas how to deal with this? We have tried some exercises but it has not worked either. I just want to have a sex life that we both enjoy and at the moment this is not looking too promising!!!

Thanks

Answer 1

Women always seem to be about me me me when it comes to sex and when it's not going the way they want it, they get upset and stop the sex altogether, then wonder why problems develop in their relationships when they are not looking after their men properly, then the sex gets worse because of lack of familiarity and the stamina disappears, then they use all this as an excuse for the lack of sex.
Well the cure for all is sex itself. It is self gratifying and disolves away all your worries. Try having lots more of it, as much as you can. You can't expect him to satisfy you and last any length of time if you only put out once in a blue moon. Basically you are causing your own problem. Start thinking about him a little and building his confidence and make him feel desired and you will reap the benefits of your work in the end

Answer 2

Hello,
There are many natural ways to cure premature ejaculation. A proven natural method can be found on this site http://www.goobypls.com/r/rd.asp?gid=565

Recent polls have shown that the average length of intercourse is usually anywhere between 2 to 12 minutes. Most often those diagnosed with premature ejaculation climax in less than a minute or two, and there are even those who ejaculate before there is any sort of penetration. In all actuality, “too short” is really just a matter of opinion. The most important factor is if a man feels that he is unable to control his ejaculation and is frequently climaxing before he would like. Any man who feels that this is a problem for him may be suffering from some form of premature ejaculation.
Good Bye

Answer 3

I think the response that you show him what you like is a good start. If you remember the tele show that had women training men like dogs are trained... well with a lot of us it works.
Now for that little extra more. Problem is if he is too easily excited, you need to take some of the octaine out of his petrol...My suggestion...
I don't know his age, but in my case, and I don't mean to be rude, but...personal experience here, and that of mates...
Get him happy, give him an Ohhh job... or maybe a similar alternative on the promise that after a time of cuddling when he can do it again, you carry on. He will last much, much longer second and third time round. If it works you will both be much, much happier!

Answer 4

This is probably also linked to your earlier question about stress too.
But lets start with the obvious stuff. If you dont do it very often then he is not going to last long is he, as his body will be just about jumping. You dont have to have penatrative sex for him to have an orgasm, have you tried doing other things to him that get him off more often?(or he can DIY) Thats one way to make him last longer during full on sex.
The fact that you are stressed probably doesnt help either, as you say above you dont feel like it....well what a turn on for us men that you dont feel like it. Even if you got dressed up, or played games or something else, its no good if you are doing it just to try and see if you can get interested. You say about trying excercises and other things, but it sounds like these are just 'sex' based.
I think you need to deal with your stress, possibly you both need to change your lifestyles and maybe be more relaxed in each others company. Spend some real quality time together, be able to relax with each other.
I think just dealing with it as a sexual issue is not the answer.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

If it is penetration you are wanting, and he is "ahem" not quite on the ball with his pitching strategy, you might want to try stuff that he can do to you without actually putting his stuff on the line. You said that you guys are pretty open about trying new stuff, so the next time, have him really get into foreplay with you, to warm you up. Have him use a vibrator or dildo on you, and then when you're ready or have already climaxed, let him have sex with you. This way you both win; he feels he did a good job making you get off and you actually get off without embarrassing him.

Answer 7

I wonder if you had a better previous lover, someone to compare your husband with? what I am trying to say is too much penetration for too long is no fun either!! I go with the previous answers and find 'other' stuff you can use, a loving relationship has got to be better than fantastic sex so don't despair!! if all else fails find a lover!!

Answer 8

Communicate, how you feel and would like to be treated. Relax in a warm bath, take your time. Give each other lots of love using all your senses and imagination. Hug, caress and kiss all over. You could include the use of a vibrator and then have penetrative sex.

Answer 9

He's probably over excited because of the lack of sexual contact. Do you consider his needs despite not feeling like it? There are other ways of getting a man off without full sex and if you performed those kind of things more often then maybe when it came down to the inney outey he'd be less.. sensitive?

Answer 10

Eat plenty of broad beans, they are guaranteed to improve any sex life. Being a farmer, many years ago if a sow or gilt would not come on heat for breeding, a bowl of broad beans done the trick, a hour or two later she would be ready to climb over the fence to find the boar, instead of the other way round.