I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, and it was just before his birthday, so i missed that. But this weekend is also the 1 year annaversary of his mom's death, and her and I were very close... I miss him so much and want to be with him, even though I broke up with him. He has a drinking problem, which I why I ended it. I wanted him to learn he cant carry on like that and still be with me. Now he drinks less but doesnt seem to miss me? Is that a guy thing? I feel selfish for feeling so sad about him mom, but i loved her too. I dont want to be at work, but I dont want to be at home all alone and sad. So please cheer me up, or give me advice or your own experiance..
2006-11-09 19:00:30 · 26 answers · asked by chickyboo222 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
From my own experience, breaking up with someone to "teach them a lesson" usually ends up with you getting hurt. Maybe he's missing you inm his own way, my boyfriend always says that just because he doesn't show his emotions on the outside doesn't mean that he's not hurting on the inside. Maybe he's trying to clean himself up on his own first, it sounds like he needed to gain so independence from you and be a better person without you before he can be friends/ be woth you again. I mean ask yourself, would you wan thim back in the state you left him in? Just give him some time and space and try and enjoy your own
2006-11-09 19:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by ebex 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, I don't think he really cares that much about you. If he did, he would probably have done something about his drinking a while back.
The implications of alcoholism are too many for me to list. The consequences usually get forced into the open in a serious and surprising way such as impaired driving, anger, financial stress, and much more.
I am not sure if he is using alcohol as an outlet to deal with his mother's death. However, drinking like that is wrong no matter why.
I think you have done the right thing by ending this relationship. I think you'll be much better off without him. You do not want an alcoholic, especially as a spouse. I have seen and heard in real life and in the news how alcohol abuse destroys marriages - let alone relationships.
You are not alone in this situation. I have had exes with liquor problems. It is not fun and they are hard to love.
2006-11-09 19:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by dcouprie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. The only thing that ever works for me is making a real effort to stop thinking about it and move on to something else. This means actually driving the depressing thougths away while really, really looking for something else to do or think about.
Now this is exhausting and it takes some time, but it's way better than dwelling on the same old story. Trying to get some extra sleep may also help.
Anyway, I hope you get better, I truly do.
2006-11-09 19:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Doppelgangland 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first u should go see him not for him but for his mom. show him that u loved her, and that u still and always will remember her. then leave him although I'm sure u will talk about it, but if u can avoid that it would be better. after that take a break from home and work. go out for a walk a ride anything just keep it safe for ur self. try to let things go the way they should and don't bother ur self u can't change the world every thing comes step by step. after u come bake u might see some things starting to get fixed. I hope I served u well. good luck.
2006-11-09 19:12:43 · answer #4 · answered by smile a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your ex may also be hurting, he lost his mom, he then lost you, he is drinking less whilst under more pressure so give him a bit of credit. I would be taking the day off work and calling this guy, even if you aren't a couple any more you can help each other today, take it one day at a time, he is going to need someone over the weekend luv.
2006-11-09 20:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up is not an easy thing when you have strong feelings for the other person. There will always be those times when you will be reminded of "better times" in your past relationships. But if he wasn't ready to straighten up while you were with him....there isn't much you can do about it. As far as your feelings about his mom....you need to realize that you are dealing with 2 different relationships. Do you think she would want you to give up on your own life, with or without him or her ??? You have no choice where she is concerned....she is gone....and you seem to have very good memories of her. He is still here....and your memories or experiences with him haven't been that great. Think about it. Apparently she cared more about you than he did....or does....move on....losing someone you care about has to be measured in part by knowing how they feel about losing YOU.
You are not being selfish....just considerate of those who were considerate of you.
2006-11-09 19:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by GOOD ANSWER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why should you feel selfish about his mom? You loved her and can't switch off your feelings, so go with the flow. It maybe that he is missing you, but as you broke up with him perhaps he feels he has blown it and won't make contact. Bite the bullet and send him a thinking of you card, and tell him you know what day it is. Then the ball is in his court. Good luck
2006-11-09 19:04:06 · answer #7 · answered by madmoo0 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go back and read some of my past questions for my whole relational true love lost story. I think that its the best thing for the both of you, if he doesn't seem to care then he probably wasn't the right one for you. I dunno its not easy but you should give it sometime to heal a little and then take a look now that you are outside of the relationship and ask yourself do I deserve better, if yes then do what you can to move on. I spent five years with a drunk who didn't love herself and some how convinced myself that she could love me, then I met the love of my life. She is currently gone so you not in the boat alone!
-NmD!
2006-11-09 19:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i know is this :- you broke up for a reason (isnt there a book or something called its called a brake up because its broken! when i split with my ex i was devastated i missed him so much and wanted to him to call - it never happened i eventually moved on and got out there and enjoyed myself with my friends (time really does help and staying busy) i then met a wonderful who i truly love and would do anything for me (i think). its hard right now but deep down if you know it was the right thing to do it will get better.
good luck you will be fine
2006-11-09 19:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Pebbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have done the right thing and maybe you should say to yourself today is the day i will move on and start to live a good life i am sure his mom would not agree to his drinking and if she liked you she would have wanted the best for you! And he is not the best you are not selfish at all go start a new life. and all the best wishes and luck to you.xx
2006-11-09 19:22:30 · answer #10 · answered by Carol B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋