should our parent choose the person we mary?

Answer 1

Yes with the divorce rate being this high, perhaps we should all go back to arranged marriages. Obviously the whole love/ lust thing clouds everyone's judgment on who is actually the best liife long partner. Parents know us the best and I could have saved myself a lot of pain if my Dad would have picked my husband and that way I could always blame my Dad if the marriage failed.

Answer 2

It's a misconception of modern society that young people know who and what they want in a partner. Sure, there's physical attraction, but sometimes it helps to have someone who can tell if the person you are going to end up waking up to for the next (we hope) 40 or so years is not a bounder or a b*tch. Old people sometimes have some wise input. I don't think that parents should force two people to be together who don't want to be together. There should be choice and variety. Also, there should be a third party, like a matchmaker involved, who sees both sides of the situation. In China, they don't marry one another if their astrological signs aren't compatible. That may seem weird to us in the west, but hey, it must work on some level. There's lots of Chinese people in the world.

But no matter how the marriage began, if two people are committed to one another, and have the will to do so, they can have a happy marriage. Don't go into it thinking that he or she will change their bad habits. You have to take the good with the bad, and trials will come for arranged and unarranged marriages, same as for all of us as individuals.

Answer 3

No, I don't believe parents should choose who we marry. Parents can only know us so much. They cannot fully know and understand all of the dimensions of our being or our complexities as individuals. Therefore, how can they pick a mate that adequately matches us. They can only choose one based on our superficial aspects. Furthermore, if your parent chooses someone for you, you lose control of the situation. If the person your parents pick for you isn't ideal, you may feel that you were misfortuned by no force of your own. If the relationship doesn't work, you may feel obligated to stay in an unhappy marriage because you don't want to disappoint your parents. In countries like India, the practice of arranged marriages is slowly fading. While one may argue that arranged marriages have a lower rate of divorce than love marriages, this may be a result of the cultural beliefs of societies who support this type of engagement.

Answer 4

My personal opinion is "NO". IN the US at least it is generally accpeted that people choose their own spouses. Some religions and cultures do differ though.

It can be a tough choice. I chose to marry a man that my parents (particularly my mother) didn't like. It has strained my relationship with my parents, however I know I made the right choice. My husband is a wonderful guy who treats me well and I would not hesitate to make the same choice again.

Answer 5

No, absolutely not. Don't get me wrong. I think there is an argument for arranged marriages. Often, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to choosing a husband or wife - we are attracted to completely the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

I know so many people who are astonished when their marriage fails - but their friends saw it coming years before. Why? Because their friends could see they weren't compatible in the first place, but the couple themselves were blinded by love (or lust).

So I think there can be some advantage in a matchmaker identifying two like-minded people who would get along well together. But not parents, because they often have a very bad understanding of what their children are really like. They expect their child to be like them, so they choose a partner who suits them, not their child.

Answer 6

No! I know a lot of cultures think that way, but no one other than yourself should choose who you spend the rest of your life with! Your parents are not the ones who have to sleep with the other person, they're not the ones who have to spend forever with the other person, and therefore they should not be the ones to choose that person for you.

Answer 7

Well, depends on where you are, your customes and the reason you marry.
If you get married to follow the tradition and just to have a familly etc as expected from you, and you are happy with just that, then it does not matter if they choose it for you or not.
Then again, if you want to marry the one YOU realy love and being happy with a person of your own choosing who you have feelings, chemistry with and click with, then YOU should choose who you marry.

Answer 8

Proveded, you have confidence in you and your parent's selection of your future life partner!

I personally feel that no parent will endanger their children by exposing them to hell at home! They do everything to their children for good and also children are comfortable but why the children think only they should get the right of selecting the life partner without the knowledge of the parents?

Answer 9

No this is someone you will spend the rest ofyour life with though I know of some cultures who still practice arranged marriages
and they do work but really personally you are the best person to ask if this person is the one you want to marry!

Answer 10

Our parents never chose us really,but they wish we be like they mould us.With experiences and likes/needs varying from person to person,its difficult to digest somebody else's choice over us when it comes to marriage.I guess when u think u are immature,parental advice is a must.Nobody will force a person to marrying(thier choice) when he'/she is independent and in late twenties.