i just started seeing this guy about a month ago.so far,at first,things were really great.but now,i've been worried like crazy that he's going to leave me.
when we're together,he's really good to me.he treats me with decency and respect.and he shows me a lot of attention and affection.but my problem is,i feel like he doesn't really care sometimes.he has issues of his own that he struggles with.and he has a problem with anger and hostility.
he doesn't take his anger out on me.he just makes comments about other people,that aren't very nice at times.he has gotten kind of snippy with me,though.he explained to me,that he's not trying to hurt me.it's just he gets in these moods where,he's projecting things from his past,onto present day occurrences.the pain of his past,still hurts him to the point,where he gets angry and frustrated.and i wish he weren't so angry,i wish i could help him,to feel better.but what can i do?even though he says he loves me,he still has this hurt inside him.
2006-11-09 17:36:55 · 9 answers · asked by Miss yavatar girl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i really do love him,and i want to be with him.the thing is,though,i have a lot of problems,too.i really,really struggle with that trust issue like he does.and i'm very emotionally needy.since i'm not close to many people,after being hurt and disappointed so many times,i only get close to people,who've been through the same thing.these are the people i can relate to.i can't relate to people,who are able to trust other people,and don't end up getting hurt after they do.
my boyfriend knows what it's like to be abused and treated with scorn.and i think it still hurts him so badly,that he can't get past that pain.
what can i do,to show that i care?how can i help him to see,that i'm not out to hurt him?i love him so,so much.i wish he could see,that i'm not like everyone else.i love him for the special,amazing person he is.and i want to start a new life together with him.i love him more than i've ever loved anyone.and he has made me so,so happy,since he came into my life.
2006-11-09 17:49:58 · update #1
I feel as though you are feeling so insecure because the guy you are presently seeing is very insecure.
I guess when we meet someone for the first time, things can appear so rosy and so normal, but then when we scratch the surface a little bit, we see that people have issues, and pasts, some resolved problems and unresolved.
The fact that he dosn't seem to care has got nothing to do with you, I believe. I think he has some issues of his own and sadly, you are on the receiving end of it all.
Deep down, he may be a super nice guy, sensitive but very nice and could possibly be able to hold down a wonderful relationship. On the other hand, these issues are causing you to doubt yourself and your own security.
Even if you have "Mr Right" you are still going to go through those times when you will hear of that person's past and the pain attached to it. The fact of life is - everyone has problems and relationships are about sharing.
I would suggest - give it some time and see how things go.
If you feel as though you cannot tolerate his burdens, then maybe move on. If, on the otherhand, you care for him and can perservere, then do so.
I don't think you are insecure but I feel as though the relationship may be giving you some doubts about him
Good luck :)
2006-11-09 17:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know him but let's look at your situation as it were someone else. When a guy is first getting to know a girl, that first 90 days, he's on his best behavior. So if the type of behavior you are experiencing is his best behavior, what kind of behavior will he expose after a couple of months?
Your "really" great lasted less than a month. Less than a month. I had to type it twice for emphasis. He's moody at one month. Is this what you want?
2006-11-09 17:55:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the ole saying... if the guy your with is rude to the waiter, he's likely to kick the dog and then at some point... you.
Get out while the getting is good. Once your in love it will be more difficult and will come with heartache.
2006-11-09 17:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by smilealot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that if he cant get over this hurt and if he isnt going to let you help him than you want a little brake so that you can give him space and time to let go of all that hurt that he has built up inside of himself!!!
or if you dont want to go on a relationship brake than go excersizing with him, excersize helps get alot of anger out and you doing it with him will show him that you love and support him and that alone helps with feelings of anger!
i hope this helps!
2006-11-09 17:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by e claire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
married, spouse is joyful, why is your penis measurement an difficulty? Looking to place it to different makes use of? Maybe penis measurement lack of confidence is some way of retaining guys from going off track. It's a conspiracy!
2016-09-01 10:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you can help him move beyond his dark past , he'll love you forever. But if he's overly violent, and it becomes threating , leave with out second thought. Address with him his past, help him if you can.
NOTE: He might be using you just till he can find somebody better.... but it's unlikely.
2006-11-09 17:44:04 · answer #6 · answered by keithr2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to deal with his own anger, u should'nt be a vent for his past baggage.
2006-11-09 17:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by Bubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him space. Guys have some kind of different coping mechanism when it comes to stress
2006-11-09 17:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by akira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I think you should go with your gut. He doesn't sound like a very nice person. You do!
2006-11-09 17:43:58 · answer #9 · answered by sis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋