How can I mend my relationship?

Question

We love each other dearly and he promised me the world. We have been together for a long time. We've discussed marriage, children, our futures together. I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. Nowadays, it seems like all we do is fight. It drives me crazy because I know that fighting can wear a relationship down and I don't want that. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I'm afraid this fighting will take it's toll before I can attempt to fix it. Love doesn't hold a relationship together and I know that. How can I cease the fighting. I love him and I'd be lost without him.

Answer 1

You need to identify what are you fighting about. Most of the times it's about little things. Both of you need to learn to compromise and support each other. Real deep love holds any relationship together. Rather than fighting try to discuss things and listen to what he has to say. Good luck!

Answer 2

If you are fighting there is an underling issue,,, you need open communication,, to dig deep and find the root of the problem,, when you fight each party feels attacked and walls build,,,, you may even say things that you don't mean but you feel attacked so you retaliate and aim to hurt,,,,, Don't !!!!!! never say anything in the heat of an argument once said it can never be taken back and can hurt forever,,, no matter how many I'm sorrys or flowers bought,, that goes for both party's,,,,,, grab his hand sit down and ask him whats wrong ,,, let him talk and listen,,,, then calmly tell your side ,,, this is why I wanted it this way ask him why he wanted it his way ,,,,,there is always a middle line or compromise,,,,, it's hard sometimes but if you two can talk your feelings freely with out being criticized then you can work out anything,,

Answer 3

You need to be honest with yourself and ask what is making you fight?

Are there issues that each of you are unable to deal with and because you are both selfish you dont want to give room to the other? This can cause conflict.

Or, is it that there are things that each of you is doing and the other does not like but you are unwilling to change? This too can cause conflict.

Address the problem before it is too late.

Remember you might as well have a broken relationship, but not a broken marriage. Be honest with yourself, the fights tell a lot.

Answer 4

It kind of depends on what your fighting about. If it's petty nonsense, your relationship might be in a rut and you both need to do more or get out more.

Relationships have ebbs and flows. Sometimes my wife and I are so tight it's like we are in another world. Sometimes we can't quite figure who we are and get into squabbles that can go on for days.

But we never say things too harsh, mean or hurtful to each other. There are some slips on both parts but no many. You cannot control his behavior, but you can control your own.

It takes two to argue. Try to defuse them yourself in a positive way. Here is a short list of defusers that I know of. They don't work in every case because everyone is different.

Umm, dam, I'm mad but your so sexy when your angry.
I know
I understand
I'll try
I need your help with this one
ok
lets take a walk together, I need some air
we always work it out together

Answer 5

The relationships where the couples dont fight is the unhealthy relationships. Please keep in mind that you are both unique and your ideas of anything might not be remotely the same. You dont agree with how he thinks and he doesnt agree with what you think, that is why you fight. It is normal to fight and argue. At least you are learning each others ways and thats something that is good. Trust me, this is a good thing, but the key to having 'healthy' fights is to remember to always be as honest as possible and always try to listen, really listen and see yourself in their position and try to imagine how you would feel. The fights will cool off once you both understand why you were fighting and can come up with a solution that suits both.

Answer 6

You both have to be able to have a "meeting of the minds". So sit down together and truthfully and honestly discuss what your problems actually are. Yours and his likes and dislikes about the relationship has to surface. You both have to allow each other to speak their mind without interruption. More importantly...you have to really listen. You might not be that far off.
If however, you are not able to do this, then your relationship is facing a slow agonizing death...which may already be started.
Before you attempt to recover, search yourself first. Be clear within yourself what it is you need and want as well as what is most important in your search for true happiness.

Answer 7

I feel your pain ms. lady I seen your question and thought maybe I could also get a little help too if you don't mind. My best advise is that in a relationship you've got to have Honesty,Trust and Communication without either of them it won't work! I suggest you talk about things try to have suprizes,plan something romantic at home or out somewhere but private just 4 you 2.
Let him know how you feel and find out how he feels to, don't forget to get his opinion. but make sure he feels the same way about you. If you both have to much stress try to find some ways to relax together, Eliminate some of those stressful things as much as possible, but sit down have dinner and talk about it! hope it helps!! good luck!!

Answer 8

What are you fighting about? Are one of you picking fights or do you have a serious conflict? If it's just nitpicking, you may need to re-examine the relationship. If it's a conflict that keeps coming up, you need to resolve it before it ruins your relationship. Sometimes a compromise is all it takes. Good luck.

Answer 9

It's hard to answer this without knowing what it is that you two are fighting about. If you really want to spend your life with this guy and he with you, the keyword is....Compromise......if you both get into it , then it just might work.....good luck...

Answer 10

See what you just typed up there, write it in a card, and give it to him. If that doesnt melt his heart enough to try and make this relationship work, i don't know what will. best of luck