I questioned several weeks by asking shall I still keep on the relationship with a guy who is so far away from me and still on the way to get divorced, though I know the answer from the bottom of my heart. And now, seems I'm getting better day by day, trying focusing on my own things, not waiting for his call, not contacting him by my side, I'm just taking a break, from being suffocated. But I'm not saying that I'm 100% ok with that, since i'm still thinking if it's necessary to go his place to have a talk face by face.
Acutally we never decided anything yet but only to hold on after he solved his issues, neither plan in the future nor stop right now. And where he lives is a place having 12 hours time's difference from mine, I've totally no idea about what actually it is.Even the result is horrible, and the reallity would hurt me more than I can imagine.
I just need some advice more objective
2006-11-09 16:46:29 · 11 answers · asked by jennyleeyang530 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From your description, I'm not sure you even have a "true" relationship. I feel you think you have but I am not so sure about him. At any rate a long distance relationship has no nurturing value...especially if there is no commitment. You have no idea what the other is doing. How can it be fulfilling? Your description itself suggest no pleasure from it...only doubt, insecurity and unhappiness. Your task is to firmly decide what is best for YOU.
I suggest you continue to stabilize your life...this clearly is not working to your benefit.
You don't have to be face to face for it to end. Please don't let it be an excuse for him or yourself. Over the phone, email or a letter would suffice.
2006-11-09 17:07:39 · answer #1 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't need to be face to face in order to break up a long distance relationship. If you feel like you are taking a break from being suffocated, it means that the relationship was not working very well for you anyway. I would not call him anymore, and if he calls, tell him to get in touch when he is divorced and living in the same area where you are. Then stop taking his calls, it's not worth the hearth ache. Been there, believe me.
2006-11-09 16:52:04 · answer #2 · answered by Marti M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so if I understand this right, this guy is still married. You really do need to take care of you right now. Cut all ties with this guy till you get your life straighted out and that means emotionally too. Your spending alot of your energy on someone that is number one, not there for you; and number two, someone that is not there for you emotionally either. This equals, someone not there for you period. So take the time your wasting waiting on this guy and spend it on finding someone that you can actually touch and talk to face to face. You will be much happier.
2006-11-09 16:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eIf this is an Internet affair then I'd say drop it and get on with your life.
The person may not be for you. In fact, he is someone Else's already and probably intending to stay that way.
Lies and deceit on line is very, very common. So common that there are warnings everywhere and there are many horror stories too!
I think you may be in love with the idea of love. You could find out if that is true if you did meet him but don't count on that ever happening.
Sorry, but your story is so, so common - Internet entrapment.
Good luck when you get out of this situation.
2006-11-09 17:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by rentongal1958 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your guys got personal issue he's gotta take care on his own. Well if you are determine to break up with him than I don't see anything wrong with doing it over the phone. I don't think it's a good idea to go out of our way just to break up with someone. I am not sure what kinda of guy your bf is but have you ever though of him not letting you break up with him? I tell you from my past experience guys are jerk when you break up with him. They changed completely once you say your good bye.
2006-11-09 16:54:33 · answer #5 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing by discontinuing a relationship with a married man. And no, you don't have to go see him to break up with him. Just call him and tell him that you have found yourself and that you are enjoying your freedom. Wish him all the best and let him go.
2006-11-09 17:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you do need more time just for you and it would probably simplify things if you just made a phone call or wrote a heart felt letter and explained things to him if he is right for you he should make the next move and come to you. don't keep going to him he will expect it all the time.a relationship takes two and the street runs both directions.
2006-11-09 16:53:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a nice long letter would do the trick. Face to face isn't feasible for a 12 hour time difference. Sit down and write a nice long letter, telling him that while it was good, you enjoyed your time together but that it is time for you to move to something closer to home and a little healthier for you.
You can't really heal until it is finally over.
2006-11-09 16:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you dont need a face to face to end a relation ship...just listen to the song by are garfunkel....50 ways to leave a lover....theres ur answer
2006-11-09 16:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by free-spirit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best, face to face is also more polite.
2006-11-09 16:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by Aussie Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋