i really need advice on this!! For years i have had an attraction to men. I really don't think it is a phase for me anymore because I am 19 years old. For a couple of years now I have fallen victim to gay internet pornography. I've told someone once, but I have been avoiding them because I feel so dirty just thinking about it. I have spent months trying to psych myself into telling my youth pastor, but so far it hasn't really worked. It is really hard for me. I don't want to tell anyone else about it and i cannot accept it because it is WRONG!!! I don't want to be gay! Please help, I'm tired of being like this.
2006-11-09 16:31:34 · 20 answers · asked by namtenirc 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Look at the first two words of your question... "I'm gay".
In regards to the rest of your question, you say that you are attracted to men. If this is a sexual attraction, it means you are either gay or bisexual. You mention pornography, but you need to realize that pornography is not real life, it is just fantasy. You say that you told someone once, then say that you want to tell your youth pastor, and then say you don't want to tell anyone else about it. That shows that you are very conflicted about this. Since you say you are 19, if you are attending college you may want to check out campus counseling services. I understand you not wanting to be gay, but most people who identify as gay did not want to be gay but came to a gradual understanding that being gay was a part of themselves that they could no longer deny.
2006-11-09 16:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Best of luck. I would avoid the Youth Pastor. Quite frankly, folks are born pretty much either straight, gay or bi-. I don't think it is much of a choice issue. It is what floats your boat sexually. Nothing sinful about it. Just how it is. And I am straight.
Religion has shown us, and especially recently, that they do not know how to deal with this. Look at the evangelicals, the priests, etc. If you still think you can be changed, try psychologists or psychiatrists.
2006-11-09 16:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by NeoArt 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You cannot hide your desires. I feel you really do want to be, but, judging by the details in your question, your enviornment has taught you to be insecure and disgusted at it. I have been through this too, but have came out to the masses. You shouldn't have to psych up a youth pastor. You should feel comfortable just telling him/her. They will love you for who you are, that is what God is all about isn't he? Embrace what you are, and don't let anyone change you. If you don't want to be gay, stop looking at guys that way? Easier said than done, huh?
2006-11-09 16:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by Randizzle 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sweetie, you need to be in a support group. I have a website that you can look at, and no it isn't porn. It is PFLAG. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. You can check out the website and if you want you can also email them with questions you have asked on here too. They are a loving and accepting organization. And what would it hurt to just email them your questions. Believe me there are many Christians that belong to PFLAG too and from other denominations as well. Here is the website:
http://www.pflag.org/Get_Support.coming_out.0.html
If you can't speak to your Youth Pastor there are people you can talk to at PFLAG.
2006-11-09 18:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Okay, take a deep breath because you are gay...and you are going through what most gay people before you have...and it's not fun...and it's not easy...but at some point you have to let go and accept who and what you are...learn to be happy...learn to forgive yourself for being human....you are responsible for your own happiness...you can go through your whole life wishing you weren't gay and nothing will have changed......Being gay is not such a bad life(style) it's just different than what you have been led to believe...I honestly think that you maybe could use a little help here by talking to a professional..preferably someone who you don't have ties to ...someone anonymous....hang in there ---life will get better..
2006-11-09 18:09:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Look dude,
There is NOTHING at all with being gay or bi..
Its either you are or your not..
Its the new fashion trend these days..
Everyone is doing it to be popular.
First of all you have to get comfortable
with yourself.. If you cant accept yourself then why
Excpect others to? Secondly.. Carry yourself well.
If you want to tell your youth pastor do it jus think of the
consequinces.. I wouldnt. But everyone is different.
they may start a Hate Gang on ya.. and youll be mocked and ridiculed day by day.
Just Be yourself and Never Ever Ever
WANT to change.
=]
Good Luck.
2006-11-09 16:44:46 · answer #6 · answered by JustMeAlways 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being gay is not a bad thing and for some it takes awhile to get used of. If you are feeling like this its for a reason and it may just be who you are. Maybe you need to make some gay friend and talk to them and hear there life experiences. Being gay has it hard times for everybody but like must of us we have plenty of good stories to tell also. Hang in there buddy i'm sure you will get through it!
2006-11-09 17:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by cartoonhero55 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
We accept ourselves and love ourselves fully in this category. You will find the same, as you discover that it is perfectly OK the way God has made you. You are the one that has to live your life.
I went through the same things, and it was hell. I ended up in a psych facility before I was able to fully accept myself as a spiritual gay person. I was 19 - 24 during that process.
I put the pieces together for myself and realized God did not want me to deny my own truth. God loves everybody. Get some more accepting friends around you for starters.
2006-11-09 16:37:06 · answer #8 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
OH FOR GOD SAKES don't you get tired of asking the same question besides why do you want to stop being gay if it'f the best thing in the world you get the best sex, best love and best boyfriends and it's not wrong cuz if god wanted you to be straight he would've made you straight and the only way to stop it it's through tearpy but it's like changing a tiger's strps imposible and the pornography thing that's is just mentally and will please reconsider and don't go the easy way death!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-09 16:42:33 · answer #9 · answered by Cateelk 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Friend,
There is hope. I too struggle with similar issues. It is not an easy journey, but do not give up hope. I would recommend talking to your youth pastor or some strong Christian that you can trust. You may want to consider joining this Yahoo group. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaymensministry/
Do not try to hide it or pretend it is not there, only God is strong enough to break those bonds, we cannot do it alone.
2006-11-11 04:41:20 · answer #10 · answered by TJ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋