I have two roommates and we are also running a student organization together. A month and a half ago, we scheduled a meeting and somehow, everyone got the times mixed up. Things were between us for about a week until I called a meeting to air out issues. One of my roommates was vocal about what was bothering her while the other kept quiet. Before I ended the meeting, I specifically asked if there was anything else that needed to be discussed. They both said no.
Well, the roommate who was relatively quiet has been giving me the silent treatment ever since. I reached out to her to find out if everything was cool and she said yes. Still, she continued to give me the cold shoulder. Last week, I saw both of my roommates together; one said hi and she kept looking straight ahead. Last week, at our meeting, she spoke to me in a very nasty tone. I decided not to address it during the meeting; rather, I was going to speak to her about in private.
2006-11-09 16:29:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I told her that I had to speak with her and told her it was regarding our relationship. She's been avoiding me ever since I said that. So, again, I tried to break the ice today and invite her to a party. She said, "We haven't spoke to each other in weeks. So no thanks." I asked her why haven't we spoken to each other in weeks. She said, "Because I have nothing to say."
Clearly she has something to say but isn't saying it. And it's starting to affect org business because it's clear that she cannot rise above whatever her issue is with me. I haven't spoken to her in a nasty tone or treated her any differently. Personally, I think the way that she's behaving is childish and just silly. And my patience is running thin because this has been going on for over a month already. And I still don't know what the problem is! Should I reach out to her again?
2006-11-09 16:29:31 · update #1
Someone once said that we usually find what we look for! This is especially true when we interact with others. If you ever want to be on the same level as this girl, your going to have to overlook her apparent " arrogance " and " accept them on their own terms, and you will be all the happier for it. Try to minimize their negativity, you may wish that they were more approachable, but in all likelihood that won't happen.
Look at it this way, life is full of misunderstandings and we all have our fair share of them. One of the ways in which we work through them depends on our attitude. In any given day we interact with all kinds of people and some of these relationships are going to cause us some grief. And usually it depends on our attitude and whether we want to be agreeable or disagreeable. What makes the difference is if you want to end the stand-off or continue it, all it will take is your attitude and the way you react to their indifference.
Someone also said that " courtesy costs nothing and buys everything" . Just try to be kind and respectful to them even if their not pleasant.
As God conveys this thought in Proverbs 15:1, " A soft answer turneth away wrath, but a grievous words stir up anger ".
You will make greater progress with these two roommates, just watch your own behavior and what you say to them. Who knows, by your attitude you may just turn things around and you will be better accepted for it. God Bless.
2006-11-09 17:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by trieghtonhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi NVR, Boy this is a hard one. You have tried twice to open her up,and she doesn't want to talk. I wouldn't reach out for her anymore. Infact i would tell her if she has a problem with you, she need to find different roommates. There's really no reason to act like she is doing. Just have her move out. It sounds like the sooner the better.
Clowmy
2006-11-10 00:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, instead get a loyal friend to find out whats wrong, and fix it so that you can be friends again. She will do the same exact thing over and over if you kepp trying to get her.
2006-11-10 00:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you try asking the other room mate if she knows anything about it..or ask her to ask that roomate if she has a problem she isnt talking bout..? that might work..but youre right it seems something is wrong..maybe there is a rule she doesnt like ? or maybe its just you who she doesnt like personally..but regardless is say try it again and if it all fails jsut ignore the *****..
2006-11-10 00:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by sinful vampyra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Speak to her and find out out what is bothering her. Maybe you can invite her out for some coffee and discuss it over it.
2006-11-10 00:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being childish and silly.
I say, forget her. You dont have time or energy to waste on people who just can get over things.
2006-11-10 00:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by kaye t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe something is bothering her but she dosen't want to talk about it now.Leave her alone for awhile be friendly but let her come to you to talk things out.If this dosen' happen then maybe it was time for things to change.
2006-11-10 00:42:29 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her alone... save embarrasment for everyone, and it smuch more friendly. You idea is the best hun!
2006-11-10 00:31:42 · answer #8 · answered by Aussie Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think it's necessary. but, i think she is sulking and your taking to her won't make much difference.
2006-11-10 00:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i felt sorry for u!
2006-11-10 00:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by ryn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋