Wife is going to a party that started around 6PM or so, said that she did not know when she would be back home, she told that she thinks that she will be out all night. Do I have a right to be mad, or am I overacting.
2006-11-09 16:25:48 · 31 answers · asked by cooltallguy2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you're over-reacting. Your wife AND you should each have your own separate activities to do every once in a while. It gives both of you space (which EVERY relationship needs). Just let it go and when she comes home, let her know how happy you are to see her.
The only time you should be mad is if you two had plans together and she ditched on you.
2006-11-09 16:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by misschaos489 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a kind of serious issue for a website. There would be I guess other concerns in your relationship that may need therapeutic intervention.
My wife would not tell me she's going to no party and would be out all night because she knows that when she did get home, I would out also. If that meant divorce, break-up etc. so be it. But that is who I am and I pay a big price for who I am.
What's good for one is good for the other and I have good social skills, look good, dress well and talk intelligently. In addition, I know how to dance. So no, she ain't going no place.
I leave getting mad to animals and overreacting to people on drugs and alcohol. A man and wife in my opinion are supposed to love and respect each other. No respect, no love.
Maybe you two need to sit down and talk and see what is really happening. I don't know, I'm not a therapist of any kind.
2006-11-10 00:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about being mad but I would certainly be concerned. No way would I be out "all night" with friends from work. That just doesn't make any sense. I would be concerned that she is out with another man because that is the only thing that makes sense. At the very least I would want to know why she was out all night and who she was with. Then I would probably somehow verify her story. Sounds to me like there is something suspicious going on and obviously you have some concerns as well.
Do you have a right to be upset? Yes! There are circumstances that would warrant staying away from home all night but this isn't one of them in my opinion. Just get the facts and verify them before you get angry. Be sure there is something to be angry about.
2006-11-10 00:38:53 · answer #3 · answered by Cashmere621 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're overreacting. You need to trust your wife, unless she has done something in the past to loose that trust from you. If she hasn't and you show her that you are mad that she went, she will be extremely upset (at least I would). Just because you are married to her doesn't give you the right to tell her what she can and cannot do. Now if this is frequent thing that starts happening, then you have every right to be mad at her. But if this is a once in awhile thing, let her have her fun.
2006-11-10 00:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by to the love of my life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your wife has given you reasons to not trust her, then no you shouldnt worry your heart out. At least your wife was honest with you, and let you know that she may be out really late. I myself, this past spring, did just the same thing your asking about. I had never done anything quite like it before. I was like a little school girl when I was invited to spend the night out with my girl co-workers. Yes I drank, and danced and it felt great. I was so wrapped up in the moment. It honestly was like a big girls slumber party, if you will. I am sure one of your worries is other men. Im not your wife, nor will I pretend like I know exactly what she'll do, but if this helps any....When I was out with the girls, the whole world just disappeared. Guys really were not an issue cause most of us were married, or had boyfriends. We stayed amoungst ourselves. We were like high school chicks. lol You know....When one of us had to pee, we all went...when one was gonna buy a drink we all went for drink...and when we danced we ruled the dance floor with this huge circle of drunk women..lol..
You asked if you had the right to overreact or to be angry. Well honestly you did not give enough info. Like does you and your wife have a solid realationship, meaning open and honest? Do you ever get the chance to go out? Would your wife allow you to do the same, if the moment presented itself? There are literally many factors to this situation. I cant say you are, or your not. Sometimes we all just need a few minutes to evaluate our situation. If you offer up some other info, I might be able to give you a clearer answer. Try not to worry so much, and just trust in your wife. With everyday worries, ie;BILLS, HOUSE CHORES, WORK, FAMILY, AND LIFE IN GENERAL, we all need to just let it all go once in a while. To just not think about any of it at all. For some this is done by going out once in a blue moon with people whom share your same issues. Thus, the girls night out.
I dont know if this helped any, but just give it some thought.
2006-11-10 01:56:07 · answer #5 · answered by cjpburgess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stress about it. I'll tell you why. My husband goes out-with friends-stays late-doesn't know when he will be back. Just tell her to have fun and that you trust her. The next morning, ASK if she had fun. Stress to yourself but not to her. Chances are you are overreacting, anyway. PLUS, it also means that you can also go out with your friends without her bitching. So, set a good example. It may be difficult but, in the long run, it really pays off!
Hubby treats me with more respect, because of it. All I ask is that if he is going to be later than a certain time, then he call me. I might get worried. :)
Also, this thing about "staying out all night" is probably a test. The way to pass is not to stress and to be OK with it. If you aren't, don't voice it to her. If she does stay out all night, she might not be with friends. If she doesn't then, thank her. Say, that you were worried but you hope that she had fun.
You guys BOTH need to go out alone and have some fun. That doesn't mean that someone is having "extra-curricular activities."
I'm more than positive that everything is fine.
2006-11-10 00:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Colleen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A married woman should never stay out all night, unless she is with her husband.
You're not overacting, but don't let this control you. Let her know how you feel, when she get back and see what she say. If possible, next time offer to go with them, then you can see exactly what they are doing, which will ease your mind.
2006-11-10 00:46:49 · answer #7 · answered by mouse in chicago 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there's all types of parties but if it's a work related function, then yes your overacting. If your wife is always going out, then talk to her. Isolated activities shouldn't get you all puffed up. Don't waste the energy ok! It's going to be ok.
2006-11-10 00:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by partknit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are over reacting.....If you married this women you obviously trusted her and loved her and vice versa.....So there shouldnt be a problem unless you have had previous issues.....But having friendships outside of your relationship is healthy and will make your time together more valuable. U have to be able to have friends and hang out with them without one another being jealous or upset, or calling them every 5 minutes to make sure you know her every move, or how many drinks she has had....Wait until the next morning or when she gets home to get the details...... Let her have fun, as you shoudl too!
2006-11-10 00:35:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sillycat!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ain't nothing open after midnight but legs and liquor stores.Wifey needs to show some respect and be home at a reasonable time. If she wanted to get her party on she needs to party with you not her girlfriends at all hours of the night.
2006-11-10 00:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by H Town Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋