I didn't help her w/the kids today. But, yesterday and the day before I tried to help. I would get up the middle of night or early morning to tend to our 6 month old. But she would just come grab her and tell me that it was OK. This happened since Tuesday. Bare in mind, I was a litle sick and so was the baby. So today I held her a while and put her down when she began to cry.Now she's upset saying I need to help her more. I was like what?? What can I say or do w/out getting into a huge argument.
2006-11-09 16:06:20 · 20 answers · asked by oaparicio2003 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We woman are something else when you try to help they dont need it and when you dont we ***** so just dont wait on her to ask you help her out like your doing and tell her your trying your best. She may be stressed tell her that she needs to relax and let you help her maybe this will help my boyfriend does the same for me we take turns doing diapers when he's not working he helps do it all.
2006-11-09 16:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know everyone wants to say that you have to kiss her ***, I agree with that b/c I am a woman but disagree b/c in a marriage you both deserve equal respect and should both help equally with ALL the chores. If you work outside the house maybe you could try and help by giving her 1 night off a week or if you both work you could take turns at night and with the kids and baby. But as a woman I know that we always think that we are the best ones for our kids and noone even dad can do what we do as well as us. I have an 8 month old and go through this a lot!! My hubby helps out a lot. He works 5-6 days a week and still helps out. I am a full time nursing student and we have 3 girls. 5,3 and baby, I dont ask him to help out except for little things and on Saturdays if he doesnt work. she needs to realize that you are trying to help and maybe you should make a little more effort. good luck and congrats on new baby!!
2006-11-09 16:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by A G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why did you put the baby down instead of trying to comfort her that's why she mad she feels like the burden is all on her if you love her ask what can you do to help her apologize for being insensitive. you have to be attentive to her needs she just had your baby we act like super woman but when we have a man at home we still need that helping hand you married her for better or for worse let your wife have a break run her some bath water pamper her get some take out if you can't cook just show her you care give her a hug and a kiss tell her you love her it's the little things that matter the most get luck hun.
2006-11-09 16:14:35 · answer #3 · answered by k2u 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women do this, so don't feel bad.....lol....basically, help with the kids is not the issue here. She just wants to make sure you care enough to do your share of the work, and that you will be there for her (and the family) and support her. She just needs some reassurance, as women often do. Try sitting her down, give her a hug, tell her you love her, and you are willing to help around the house however you can. Tell her the family is a priority to you, and you will be there for her no matter what.
Be sincere, though. This is important!
2006-11-09 16:11:36 · answer #4 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could help out with some of the house work, take the older kids out to play or for a walk to help lighten up the load of your wife. The next time you go to town for something or after you get off work, bring your wife home some flowers, and a card, tell her how much you lover her. Cook the even meal for her or help her with it. As far as you being sick, that happens to the best of us. But in most cases, even when mom is sick she still has to take care of the kids.
2006-11-09 16:17:16 · answer #5 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well mom might still have a lot of hormones running wild, so it might be difficult to "say the right thing." But my suggestion would be to let her know that you want to help her as much as you can (without getting her or the baby sick). Be proactive and ask if there's anything you can do to help her out. She may not want help with the baby, but washing bottles or taking care of some other task might mean the world to her. Communication is key.
2006-11-09 16:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by jae 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know a good trick would be to come home early and take care of the kids. Send your wife to the spa to get a massage and facial. This will rejuvenate her. She's probably stressed. I'm not sure if she's home all day with the kids but if she is, she needs to get out of the house. She needs to relax. Pick a good spa.
2006-11-09 16:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by partknit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of five, with a husband who tries to help out alot, I can reassure you that it's nothing you've done....it's what you haven't done honey. Having babies takes a huge toll on a women's emotions. We know how to soothe them, how to quiet them and how to get them back to sleep faster, so naturally, in our minds, it's just easier for us to do it. Which means, that if you notice she's tired, and take it upon yourself to get up with the baby, she's still going to wake up, do things her way and tell you to go back to bed. That's when you need to stand your ground hon. Tell her that she does a great job, but that you need to learn so you can help her out more. Ask her to show you how "SHE" does things, and she'll be more willing to let you take over a little more. Being parents is alot of give and take honey. It sounds as though you are willing to give, but she's not willing to give up the responsibility. Instead of arguing or fighting about it, start off the conversation with "Honey, you've been super-mom, super-wife and I couldn't ask for more, but even supermom needs a break, so please let me help with something". I guarantee it'll work. And granted you'll probably end up with the crap jobs at first, like doing the dishes or folding the laundry, but eventually she'll let you take the night shift from time to time with the baby. If she needs more reassuring, tell her that you'll never learn to do it right if you don't get the practice and a chance to bond with the baby like she has. With mom/wives who are use to doing it all, it's hard for us to give up some of our control...ease her into it and before you know it, you'll be playing the "you touched her last, your turn to change her" game! And just keep in mind that one day, the two of you are going to look back years from now and laugh at this. These are the types of things that make a marriage stronger honey. Not the problems, but the way you work through them! I wish you luck and congrats on the little one!
2006-11-09 16:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs some quiet time. Time for herself. Send her out with her girlfriends or something and you watch the baby. When she comes back, have the house clean and the baby sleep so you can enjoy a nice evening together. OR Get a babysitter for a couple of hours and run her a nice bubblebath with candles and soothing music and when she gets out give her a nice sensual massage.
2006-11-09 16:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by mirkyl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My lil girl is almost 6 months old. I can understand her. She has all these hormones going crazy still. I can understand you too. The thing is when she wants to rant and rave just let her be. If you have to, go to the store or something. It will give her time to cool off. That always works here at my house.
2006-11-09 16:40:04 · answer #10 · answered by dollface30720 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋