What things can I do to let go of the anger about a past relationship?

Question

I was with someone for almost four years. While we were together, I lost who I was and fell into depression. We broke up, and I spent about a year picking myself up. I got back to where I wanted to be in terms of who I was/am, but I had this nagging anger in the back of my head. I realized that my ex-boyfriend did and said a lot of things during our relationship that he essentially got away with because I was too pathetic while we were together to call him out on it.

I'm in a much happier and healthier relationship now, but I'm still angry about my past and who I became. I'm still directing the anger (partially) at my ex-boyfriend and at myself. I'm having a hard time forgiving him and myself for being too young to know better than to forget who I was.

I really want to let the anger go, but I haven't found the outlet yet. Any advice? I want rid of this feeling. Any serious advice, books, websites, anything are helpful.

Answer 1

You are only going through the normal stages of recovering from both depression and getting out of a bad relationship and angry is good sometimes, rather than directing it inward which causes the depression. When we are abused or mistreated by someone who we trusted in a relationship, we feel we have fallen short, like somehow it is something that is your fault. That also contributes to depression. But the fact is, there are some things in this life that we SHOULD BE ANGRY ABOUT. And you recognizing them and feeling the way you should, angry, is normal but see a therapist to assist you to work through it without having it transfer onto future relationships for the bad deeds of a former signficant other.

Answer 2

the only subject you're able to do is locate a thank you to push returned any confrontational circumstances, in case you are able to via a pair of months asserting enable us to talk this while our tensions are actually not so warm. It at present worked for me and that i've got considering had time to checklist my opponent's fault's so as that as quickly as we bypass toe to toe, because it have been, I now have documented, via noting, that i'm no longer the undesirable individual. even nonetheless i'm prepared to make an apology just to close out the concern. In my case, it could require that I tell my sister that I no longer watch for our annual conferences if she won't relent. I stated as her a b***h this year and that grew to become into my mistake, however the year earlier, she stated as our father a "doddering previous fool" while she did no longer understand i grew to become into listening. So i'm hoping which you detect a better thank you to safeguard your issue than I even have;

Answer 3

Hey ever hear that sayen what comes around goes around. Trust me hun that is so true. I married at age 17 this guy I married really did love me but I married him for the wrong reasons. When I left him at age 21 I hurt him bad. Will I came back to Mo. meet my girls dad and fell in love with him hard will guess what I got hurt bad he tore my heart open. So I believe in that sayen what comes around goes around. I aint hurt no one sense.His day will come might take a few years but it will happen.Just pray and ask the man up stairs to deal with it give him what he deseves. And hun it won't be nice at the end but you will feel the satisfaction.I asked the man up stairs to take care of the man who hurt me will he is slowly but I can see it happening they are going broke now and he aint as happy as he thinks he is. And I just remarried I can sit back and wee it all. And I am very happy. Good luck but trust me on this HIS DAY WILL COME

Answer 4

You need to forgive him and yourself for mistakes you made. You learned a lot from that relationship so be thankful for your new knowledge. You have learned to speak out when someone says something you don't like and you have found your self again. thank him for that opportunity and thank your self for being smart enough to know what you want now.
good luck!

Answer 5

mabe u should talk to a shrink or some kind of counselor that can help u with your feelings or try writing all your feelings on paper try the yellowpages