My wife had affair 1 year ago. She may be up it to again.....?

Question

I forgave her. Now she is e-mailing and talking on the phone to a recently divorced man. I have positve proof I don't want to (can't) tell her about. I confronted her and she denies it. I asked her to come clean or move out, but changed my mind not to ruin the image our three kids (21,20,16) have of thier mother. After the threat, the mental affair she is having continues. 1 year before the affair I senced something wasn't right, I took a hard look at myself. I made sure I was doing all the things for her a spouse needs after 32 years of marrige. Alot of help that did! She seems to hooked on the enfacuation of the new relationships. She says she loves me more than anything. Anybody been here? What now?

Answer 1

well you must be as old as me or older and i ask why are you wasting time on here talking about something that important. I got lucky and found this site to stop me from being bored out of my mind at night at work but other then that i spend time with my woman and take care of her in any and every way. So your wife probably isn't the problem.

Answer 2

Ask your wife to have her New Man or men come over for a nice threesome...seems like she needs more in the bedroom and really you seem very old so who cares as long as you both can be happy roll with it I dont think she will change...and the counseling thing..forget it..that is just a person who needs help themself trying to give advice to others for money...But by no means divorce her or get rid of her...she wants the Pepa...so go get some yourself...and I dont mean PePa!!! I just know an older couple that have outside affairs all the time they have been married now 35 years and are very happy and take care of eachother...dont ruin a good thing..That is life for you now...Good Luck

Answer 3

She has committed adultery Lord does not like that at all. The saving grace is that she says she loves you. And that you have kids. Go some place alone without the kids and have a real good discussion. The discussion must only be to moove in a positive direction from here.Go on from there and see what you can do to improve your relationships and love for the sake of the Children and more importantly for the two of you

Answer 4

I have never been cheated on, but I do have a boyfriend who was married. His marriage ended in divorce because he discovered that his ex-wife was cheating on him. Similar to yourself, he had proof that he found on his own and when confronted she too became defensive, angry, and infatuated with the affair and the "new man" in her life. It was a terrible time in his life because he loved her truly and deeply and she betrayed his love and trust with the affair. So sad. It is hard since you have children in the relationship. Luckily they are older, so maybe the news will be easier to understand. The emailing and talking on the phone now after you forgave her is not acceptable in my eyes. It is dis-respectable and completely unfair to you. Especially since you forgave her once and she broke you heart. Cheating is not right and in many eyes once in one too much. Giving her a second chance was very good of you, but now if she is continuing to "cheat" she needs to be confronted and the relationship sadly may have to end. Or some heavy counseling needs to be done. Right now she may feel like she can do it again because you forgave her once and you may forgive her again. It's up to you, but respect yourself and your kids. You all deserve to be happy and be with someone honest, loving, and true. Good luck

Answer 5

After 32 years of marriage, I'd have to say she is just looking for something different, something exciting and out of the normal. After kids and marriage for so long, sometimes men forget to date their wives and buy them perfume and flowers for no reason. Tell her flat out if she loves you, stop or you will leave and see how that hits her. Don't worry about preserving her image with your grown kids. They probably know what's going on anyways. Think of yourself and your kids and what's best for you all. She cheated once and she will most likely do it again, cause you are letting her. Stand up and be a man!! Put your foot down.

Answer 6

I must ask, What is your positive proof that you don't want to (can't) tell her about? I mean if you "really" have proof that she is emailing and talking on the phone with a divorced man then you shouldn't hide the fact that you know from her. "If" you "really" know. Tell her and end this sham of a marriage. It really doesn't matter what you do for her if it's in her heart to cheat and obviously it is, she won't stop. So for your sake you need to divorce her and maybe you will find someone else who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Answer 7

Aww! I can't give you a "real" answer because my longest relationship was only 8 years, but I do know what it's like to love someone. I have to say that counciling might be the best answer. youve probably already done that. Something is lacking, If you have proof, tell her, who cares, she's the liar/cheater!

Answer 8

why not ruin the image. that image is a lie and the truth should be exposed, because she has ungratefully and disrespectfully ruined her family
also fight for exclusive rights to the 16 year old since she obviously does not care about her children.

Answer 9

I think you defanently need to keep a close eye on her and tell her you suspect her infedelity again. If in doubt dont be afraid to separate because your kids lifes are on the line!

Answer 10

i have to agree with rich uncle, i had a wife that cheated and i forgave her and i think she did it again, thats when it was over and i wont stand for that kinda s h i t