Is it fair that my husband is going to have to pay child support to a pregnant woman who left him?

Question

I found out tonight why my husband has been so stressed lately. It turns out that he was having a relationship with another woman who lives in town. It turns out that he got her pregnant and now she wants to break up and eventually sue for child support. I don't think this is fair because I love babies and I would be glad to take care of the child, plus my husband offered to pay her rent for her apartment if she wouldn't "leave him". He even offered for her to come stay in one of our guest bedrooms, but she said she didn't want to be in an adulterous relationship. That didn't make any sense to me because I thought adultery was only when a married woman slept with another man but not if a married man slept with an unmarried woman which she is. I was always taught that was polygamy and it was okay. Why do some women have to be so cruel sometimes? It sounds like she just wants my husband's money to spend for whatever she wants and that is really sad.

What do you all mean do I like my sharing my husband? I really don't have a choice because he's the man in the relationship and I have to be submissive, plus he is older and stronger than me.

No I am not mormon.

Answer 1

Wow, did you look up this story on the net or something. If you've run out of interesting ideas stop posting. Your getting old, really old

Answer 2

Adultery is having an affair with a married person. It doesn't matter which one of them is married. It is fair for him to pay child support because he fathered the child. It doesn't matter how the relationship turns out, he is that child's father and owes it to him to support him. The child didn't ask to be conceived. Your husband could always try to get full or joint custody of the child. It depends upon where you live as to his chances of winning. As for your husband's money, since he conceived a child with this woman she has all rights to part of it. This is something that he should have thought of ahead of time. Why didn't he use protection? Why do you want to stick around after he cheated on you? Why would you even consider asking the "other woman" to move in? Do you love his money that much or do you have some type of deep psychological problems? Polygamy is not okay and it is illegal. Men who practice this are very selfish individuals. It is not natural to share your spouse. I know that in the Old Testament it was a way of life, but according to the New Testament it is not acceptable. You need to find a good counselor.

Answer 3

I can relate to your story and I feel for you. My husband of 7 years moved out of our bedroom when our only daughter turned 6 months and then moved out after her first birthday. His explanation was that he hadn't been in love with me for a long time and he ignored those feelings because he wanted a child so badly. We have always had a rocky relationship, but I definitely thought there was improvement when we decided to have a child. I too, was devastated, but I am now coming to realize that my future will be brighter without him. Like your husband, he was always very critical of sooo many things. It tore me down so much I couldn't make decisions on what to make for dinner or what duvet to buy!!!! I started seeing a therapist which I would highly recommend for you. This is his issue, and NOT yours and you should not think about taking him back because you deserve better. The fact that you are 6 months pregnant and he is leaving without trying to save the marriage proves how much of a narcissist he is. He is the one that feels inadequate and that will never change. He envies you in some way versus appreciating you. I truly believe that a "good" man will accept you for all that you are, the good, the bad and the ugly. You will have a lot of bad days ahead of you, but there will be good days ahead too. Right now, try to concentrate on preparing for the birth of your child. I was not a woman that really yearned for a child, but I will never forget the first time I heard my daughter cry. It was just the movies. The whole world stops. You can't hear anything else or look at anything else but your child. It is truly an amazing experience and don't let HIM take that away from you. Ultimately, he will regret it, but you may never know it. He is a coward that cannot deal with his own short comings and inadequacy issues. You will be a stronger woman on the other side and you'll be an excellent example to your daughter when the time is right for her to understand what really happened between the two of you. Believe in yourself and that you deserve better. Love and cherish that little girl every day. You can get through this......

Answer 4

OK ---First thing: Adultery is when a person has a sexual relationship with a person to whom they are not married. Yes, two people who are not married to one another (no matter if they are married to someone else or not) are committing adultery by having a sexual realtionship. There is quite a misconception - people think it's only when a person is married and has an affair. Not so.
Second: Polygamy is not OK because it is against the law. That is like saying you were always taught that stealing is ok so why not do it. NO, it's not ok, it's against the law.
Maybe you should also get a lawyer and see what they think you should do about the child support thing...

Answer 5

1. It is not ok that your husband cheated on you, and it is STILL adultery, regardless of gender.
2. So your husband is older and stronger. So? That does NOT mean you're supposed to just go along with everything he does like nothing happened. It doesn't mean you can't be upset with him.
3. Yeah, your husband should pay child support; it's his baby too. It doesn't matter if she wants to leave him. It's still his baby regardless. So I don't think she's being cruel at all in that respect.
4. Start standing up to your husband. You are JUST as strong as he is, maybe not physically, but you should be just as strong in every other aspect. He does not wear the pants in the relationship. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. What you have is someone who is dominant and someone who is submissive. That's unhealthy.

Answer 6

The same thing happened to me with my husband. We are all living happily together in my house. Sure, it's only a two bedroom, and my two kids have to share a room with the baby, and the adults have to sleep together in one room, but we stuck it out, made the best of it, and now it couldn't be better. I can't imagine what life would be like if not for this seeming end of the world mistake my husband made. It took some convincing, but I thik if you explain to her that you have accepted this, are willing to let her have your husband all to herself and will help her raise the baby, she'll come around and you'll be happier than you ever have been.

But really, make sure it's ok with your husband. It's your position of submission that matters here. If that's what he wants, then he should definitely get what he wants. His happiness should be your ultimate goal, and obviously both women make him happy.

Well, I figure if you can make up a fake life, I can answer your question with a fake answer, right?

Answer 7

Well, it's still his child, so I guess it's still relevant. IF it's his child, if not then she commited adultery (mixing).

Just think of it this way, your husband is paying a baby sitter to take care of his child for 24 hours until the child is 18 years old.

But I understand on the reason on why the two you want to give a non-financial child support instead of a financial one. You think a non-financial one would be more beneficial.

Answer 8

I think you should stop and think what if you were in her shoes! She has a right to child support and she should have to give her baby up to the married man wife so they can raise the baby together..Please join reality..You sound as if your not that old and hasn't experienced life yet..Think about this how about you go with a married man(who you didn't know was married) and the relationship just didn't work out(its not fair to stay together just because of the baby) and the baby's father wife says give me your unborn baby so my husband doesn't have to give you his money to blow on yourself even though it takes 2 to make a baby. does that make since to you..you need to sit and think about what your prior ties are and to support your husband...don't worry about her she will do what is best for her baby...I dont think you think before you speak....open mouth insert foot....Grow up

Answer 9

Adultery is when a married person goes outside of the marriage.
Yes, it is fair that your husband pays support for the child. Don't blame the other woman - that is totally unfair. It is your husband who couldn't keep it in his pants...

Answer 10

He cheated on you and got another woman pregnant and so yes he will have to pay child support and that is very fair. Good thing he is married to you cause if he was my husband, he would be gone for good for not only cheating on me but also for the fact that he got another woman pregnant while being married to me. But hey he is YOUR HUSBAND, he played and now he has to pay!

Answer 11

We're you raised as a mormon? This is unusual as most women would be very upset to find themselves in this situation. Adultery is a relationship that a married person has with someone other than their wife of husband. It doen't matter if it is the man or woman it is still called adultery.

I guess if this is your husbands child then he is responsible financially.