Do you think my marriage is in trouble?

Question

I have been married for 2 years and we have an 11 month old son. While I don't feel my marriage is bad, the relationship has definitely changed. He used to be very sweet, respectful and complimentary and we used to go out and have fun. Now, he never compliments me on anything, but he's quick to roll his eyes or shake his head when I do something wrong. He's very moody also. Sometimes he's happy and "normal" and then sometimes he's just grumpy and snippy and the tone in his voice is very unfriendly but when I ask what's wrong he snaps at me. I can count on one hand the number of times we've gone out together in the past year. And then we only stayed out for an hour and he barely spoke to me, but when he goes out with his friend he stays out for hours and has a good time. He doesn't even want to go do anything with me and our son. He says he's tired, or it's too late to do anything (at 3 in the afternoon) or that sunday is his only day off. I love him and he's a good daddy

and I know he loves me, but what gives? I try hard to be a good wife, but I feel sometimes like he is just always irritated with me. I've tried to talk to him, but it's like pulling nails to get him to open up and I feel like if I keep bringing it up I'm nagging and he gets more irritated. Counseling is not an option because he won't go. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

The sex is still good, but a little different also. We never "make love", it always has to be rough and dirty. Honestly, it's kind of always been that way and has always been fine with me, but seems different now. The thought that he may be cheating has crossed my mind, but I don't know when he would find the time. He works all day and is home at night and stays home on weekends.

Answer 1

It can mean anything...you should tell him how you feel, sit down and have a heart to heart and let him know that it bothers you that you guys arent spending much time together...keep in mind that when you ahve a baby, it changes everything..also after being married men tend to get lazy and not do the things they used to do before..ask yourself if youre still the same ? do you still do the things u used to before you got married and had a kid? Im usre you guys can work it out..just dont stand there and let it get worse, work on the problems before it gets worse..tell him, ask him if he feels different..and be readey for his responses..be civilized and understanding..but dont let him step all over you either..if you know what i mean..good luck

Answer 2

The honeymoon is over and now the work of having a marriage and relationship and being a parent start. It's not always romantic. Give it a rest for a while and find interests for you and your son and stop concentrating so much on his moodiness.

There can be a variety of reasons he's acting grumpy. Feeling regrets about losing his freedom, the responsibility of being a father, fooling around with someone, drugs, marijuana, anything.

But you have a son that was brought into the world not by his own choice and you must do right by him, no matter how you "feel"

Answer 3

well i don't really know what to say... honestly this is your decision. I mean on sunday i also like to just stay home, relax and watch football. Off that topic, this is your decision. The marriage is never going to be perfect, but if you work together then you can get it nearly perfect. It seems the problem is is that he seems annoyed at you. right? well i have only two things to do. 1) you can get involved in what he likes to do so you both can have something to "communicate" about. 2) make him feel that you are important, that he needs you and regrets the way he has behaved in the past. Well i hope this information works for you and i wish for the best luck of you marriage. i tried my best but hey im only 15. : P

Answer 4

could be. i think people can spend too much time together. and when a person starts actin like your man is it points to someone needin space. how's the sex? is that still good? i know it's hard to have time apart when u live with someone but try it. try going out without him and have a life separate from your life with him. don't sit home all day and have him be the highlight of your existence. there must be somethings u liked to do b4 u were with him. go out with your girls. let him see how u look when u get dressed sexy for an outing. take your son and go out without him and make sure it's somewhere that has pics that u can show him what he's missing. if he's not willing to talk all u can do is tell him u noticed the change and that u are willin to talk whenever he's ready. don't be a nag.

p.s. also don't rule out that he's bangin another chick.

Answer 5

To be honest I think he is cheating. I can say this cus I acted this way when I was cheating on my husband. And it was 11 months after the birth of our first daugther. It seems that when a child is born your relationship does change. You say he doesn't have time?. Trust me if he wants to cheat. He will find the time.

Maybe I am wrong and it's just stress from something else. Good luck to you! I hope that you find out soon.

Answer 6

What has changed? You have a baby. They change everything. Children are not binding, they are divisive.... happens all the time. And, your marriage will evolved to include that child in your family relationship, or it won't. If it doesn't, you and he will divorce. Problem is, that solves nothing. It is not you, it is not him, it is that now you are a family, instead of a couple. Hopefully you and he will get a few sessions of counselling to deal with this status..... really worth the buckos, hon. Good luck

Answer 7

It's so easy to take people for granted and much easier for men. Now that the honeymoon period of your relationship is over, you may be seeing parts of your husband you haven't seen before.

If the two of you can't discuss this, you should see a counselor. It's best to figure this out sooner than later. Relationships go through various phases, it will take time to know if this is a permanent problem.

Answer 8

first of all how old are u second i am 25 and married myself for 2years with 2 kids i have gone through some problems with my husband also i think u should step up and be the woman that you know we can be and find out whats really going on that includes looking in to the fact that it could be someone else in the picture

Answer 9

Things often change after a child is brought into the picture. I don't think it should have changed to this extent though. If you don't find some time for each other and a way to communicate, the marriage will not survive.

Answer 10

Sounds like trouble. If you have a hard time talking to him because of the way he response to you try writing him a letter about how you feel. Refrain from using words like YOU never spend time with me, this usually puts the other on the defense. Instead use words like -
I feel lonely when I don't get to spend time with you.

Best wishes