Okay my ex broke up with me a month ago because she said that she needed time to figure out her own life and figure out what makes her happy. See she is currently in therapy due to her father passing away 4 months ago and her low self esteem. She said that she hoped we could really still be friends and talk. She said she was sorry for everything and that the timing of us sucked because of her and she thought we had really good potential. She really hoped that we could be friends and talk, because thats all she could handle. So I have not seen her in a month and have not heard from her since she dumped me in an email. I have been trying to keep my distance and give her time. I still care about her, but not like I used to. I hope she is okay, but do not have the desire to talk to her everyday. So she emailed me today, asked how I was doing and said she hoped I was well. How long should I wait to reply? I don't want to be rude, appear desperate, or have her think I dont care?
2006-11-09 15:00:25 · 8 answers · asked by cds1666 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Common courtesy would dictate you reply by the end of the weekend. What your reply consists of is up to you. You can simply answer her question about how you are doing, or you can open the door to further communication, or close it completely.
2006-11-09 15:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard one because of all the reasons you gave. If you want to stay in contact, then you should email her and wish her well and let her know what you're up to. If you feel it's too hurtful, you don't have to answer. This isn't about what she thinks or feels about you, this is about how you feel, and it's ok to do what you want in this situation.
You can wish someone well without re-entering a relationship and you can also tell her that.
Sometimes it can be easy to take the known, even if it's hurtful, over an uncertain future, but I'm sure you're worth a whole lot. You seem really thoughtful and understanding and I'm sure at some point in the future, you'll find someone with whom you can build a happy, healthy and trusting relationship.
2006-11-09 23:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by Shoshanna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, these days, I don't think it matters if you respond too soon to an email. We're all addicted to our email and if you respond in a few hours, you really don't look desperate at all. And honestly you're not!
Just keep it chill and you should be good. Express concern, not too much concern mind you, since she is obviously still in a fragile place. Just be her friend. I think she needs that now more than anything else. And who knows, you both may eventually be back together again if it's in the stars!
Good luck! I'm rooting for you!!!
2006-11-09 23:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Natalia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello
Honey first i would like to say that i am sorry for what you are going through. and i know how you feel. I think that she is lucky to have someone that cares about her the way that you do.
With that said i think that with a loss like that it will take her along time to get back into the swing of things. I think that you should let her know that you are there for her and that if she ever need anything that you are there for her.
but i don't think that you should really press the relationship thing right now.
If you really care about her then you want her to do what she feels is right for her.
May not be what you want to hear honey but i think that it would be for the best..
Best of luck to you .
Heather
2006-11-09 23:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by heather_honey_2002hs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a girls point of you, if you want her to know that you really care for her and are still interested in her right away and trust me you won't appear desperate. If you want her to think that you care but not as much as before wait a few days but no more than a week.
2006-11-09 23:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by lacatira83 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She found out the grass is no greener and now she wants to take up where she left off, eh?
Take a pass on this one, hard as it is.
Don't worry about what she thinks. Was she worrying about what you thought when she dumped you by email?
Move on, minus this fickle game-player who wants you at her convenience.
2006-11-09 23:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by sparticle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send her a sweet card telling her that you care from time to time; but don't hold your breath waiting!!
You could probably start looking for your next gf!
2006-11-09 23:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound desperate.
just move on.
take time to heal.
do things to show yourself you love yourself to help the healing process.
you will probably never get over this but it will lessen in time.
2006-11-09 23:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋