Do some gay people get a certain thrill of harbouring a 'special secret' and of living a 'double life' like a character in some spy thriller? it seems to me that would be the best bit about being gay!
2006-11-09 13:46:00 · 19 answers · asked by richy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It has nothing to do about having a secret,do you know how many gay people who come out (including myself) who loose everything they know,because they came out,its a hard decision to people still in the closet because of what they see around them. I lost my family because they dident want anything to do with me after i came out but ya know thats ok..i dont want anyone like that (small pea brains) around me anyway..yeah it sucks but to myself i did something for myself by coming out its called a life!!!!! personally i and other lesbians i know wont date anyone still in the closet because you just dont have a life with someone still living in a secret world..yuke yuckkie yuck..bye
2006-11-09 14:46:26 · answer #1 · answered by deb s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be "out" is fine these days isn't it?
Well, not of you're a gay catholic priest, a young Asian, a young Pole/Lithuanian/Slovakian from a strongly catholic family, a high profile politician or a celebrity such as George Michael.
It is the world and its' attitudes which make the "closet" a safe harbour, but that isn't to say that it is a good option; merely the least bad option short of suicide.
It really can be that serious for many people, and those who can live an "out" life are among the lucky ones. Not everyone is fortunate enough or strong enough to stand alone from everything which is dear to them.
Me? Couldn't care less what people think, but I still don't proclaim it from the rooftops!
2006-11-10 11:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by musonic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are un-informed and romanticising the aspect of being in the closet. It is, on the whole, very damaging for gays to live a lie by being in the closet. But sometimes there is a very valid reason why gays choose to stay in the closet. It may damage their career to come out, for instance.
How would you like to be living a lie, when the true you is screaming to get out and be the person you really are. Heterosexuals would simply abhor the thought of being forced to be with someone that they didnt want to be with. So why should it be any different for gays? We are all humans!!! Check out the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor's song I am what I am. This just about sums it up for all of us:
I am what I am,
I am my own special creation,
So come take a look, give me the hook or the ovation.
Its my world that I want to have a little pride in,
My world and its not a place I have to hide in.
Life’s not worth a damn till you can say: I am what I am.
I am what I am
I don’t want praise I don’t want pity,
I bang my own drum, some think its noise I think its pretty.
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle,
Why not to see things from a different angle.
Your life is a sham till you can shout out: I am what I am.
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses,
I deal my own deck sometimes the ace sometimes the deuces,
Its one life and theres no return and no deposit,
One life so its time to open up your closet.
Lifes not worth a damn till you can shout out: I am what I am!!!!!
2006-11-10 02:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's not a thrill. it's hard, it's lonely and it's miserable. lying and hiding is never a good thing...no matter what the reason. everyone should be able to be who they are without fear of what people think or what they might do. are you gay? do you know anyone gay? you can't possibly understand unless you are. sometimes it's necessary...for our own safety. or to keep a roof over our heads. I realized I was lesbian when I was 18 and in college. I lived at home, and had part time job that paid almost nothing. I couldn't afford a place of my own, and I couldn't risk telling my family then in the event the rejected me...I had nowhere to go. I didn't come out to my family until long after I was able to move out and get my own place...and made enough money to pay my bills. thankfully, my family accepts me for who I am.
2006-11-09 22:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not really because everything in the closet would be sure to come out, nothing stay hidden... nothing! They do not get a thrill, they get a certain amount of sercurity or closure because they are not showing what they have to hide obviously. It seems to everyone that hiding in "the closet" is the best bet for everyone who is gay because the humiliation that they will go through. It's best to let it out becuase at least your not hiding and it shows that your proud. If you weren't, then you wouldn't be gay now would you?
2006-11-09 22:11:03 · answer #5 · answered by FELICIA H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...to live in a closet may be necessary, but I cannot imagine that it could be good for anyone...there comes a time that the reasons for the closet begin to effect your being..shame of self! The shame comes from the ignorant, but can make serious dents in lives that will not face ignorance and do battle with idiots. I have never met a happy closet case..have you?
2006-11-09 21:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex between man and woman can be good anywhere but while sex in a closet is presumably exciting there remains the problem that few have handles on the inside and getting a mate to close the door after you and open it to let you out diminishes the feeling of intimacy. Sex in a wardrobe has the added danger that it may fall over on to the door trapping you inside.
2006-11-10 05:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by "Call me Dave" 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in the closet means one believes that something is "wrong" with them, or that the opinion of others is more important than their opinion of themselves. Could not be good for me! And if people live in a closet about being gay, they will harbor other secrets as well. Plus it makes them vulnerable to blackmail in its many forms. That's just my opinion, but also from experience in knowing closeted people.
2006-11-10 00:26:53 · answer #8 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The thrill would get old pretty fast. Nothing good can come from lies and deception in the long run, you end up hurting yourself and others and the damage done may not be something you can easily undo.
2006-11-09 21:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by imaginary friend 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know of one man that has lived like that for about 14 years, unfortunately he cracked up under the strain, he is now on medication
2006-11-10 11:10:25 · answer #10 · answered by helen d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋