I am married 7 months and met my husband on line today I chat on line when hes not at home and all my friends know I am married and I don't intend to meet any of them. He is always thinking I am going to meet someone which I am not I love him very much how can I convince him I feel I can't just dump my friends completely?
2006-11-09 12:53:45 · 10 answers · asked by wildrose 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is okay to chat online.. if I didn't have my online friends I would go nuts because my husband is off fighting in this war. Ask him who specificlly it is that you talk to that makes him so insecure. Bottom line is, it is okay, but is it worth your marriage?
2006-11-09 12:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by armywifehaney 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I would do is not say anything to your friends that you would not say in front of your husband. If you talk to them about stuff that you wouldn't say with him right there, then it is wrong. Also when you were chatting on the computer with your friends, you can pull up the conversation that you and who ever said to each other. Show your husband the conversation that went on between you and your friends so that he will know what all was said. If you have nothing to hide, there shouldn't be a problem doing that. You wouldn't have to do this very many times before he learns to trust you. Just don't try to hide from him what all you say to your friends as that is what breaks down the trust.
2006-11-09 14:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely ok to chat with friends online. I do this most of the day and a little at night, even while my fiance is home. As long as your relationship with your husband is solid, there should be no problem. It sounds to me like he is insecure. That is what causes jealousy, which can in turn cause a break up as it will turn to extreme jealousy and controlling.
Ask him who it is he doesn't like you talking to onkine, why he doesn't like you talking to people online, etc. I talk to males and females online, and my fiance has no problem with it at all. He knows that I talk to both male and female, but he also knows I tell ALL of them that I am taken and that if they want anything more than friendship, then I won't have anything to do with them. Do you let your husband know that you do this same thing? Do you tell your husband basically what it is you talk with your friends about? I do this with my fiance and it seems to bring us even closer as I am keeping him in my 'circle' of friends and keeping the lines of communication open. He even talks with my friends online thru me.
I would say that you two need to sit down, say after dinner and when you are both very calm, and talk this out. Find out why he is being so insecure about you talking online to friends, who it is he doesn't like you talking to, what it is about you talking online to others that bothers him, etc. Since you are newlyweds, you really need to learn one of the main things about marriage to keep it going for a very, very long time: open lines of communication about everything. This in turn will bring trust and respect and more love. If you don't have the open lines of communication, then you don't have a good relationship and it will be doomed before it even had a chance to start. So, communicate, always.
Good luck!
2006-11-09 13:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think it okay to chat with female friends on line but if you are talking to other guys and you met your husband this way I would end communication with the men you chat with explain the reason and they should glady except the reason you must stop chatting with them. You are taken now and if you love your man that is reason enough to stop chatting with other guys on line.
2006-11-11 18:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question, yes it is perfectly fine for married couples to have friends of the opposite sex. Why wouldn't it be? With regard to the first part of your details, you're talking about couples that swing and that's a bit more than just being friends with the opposite sex. That's for people in open relationships which, IMO, is ridiculous and makes no sense. I mean, if you're gonna sleep around - even if you're selective - don't get married. Continue dating. But that's me. And spouses who want to dictate who their partners talk to and hang with are control freaks and probably need to be left alone. A couple can have as much sexual freedom as they want between one another without adding people in. Swinging and cheating, to me, is excessive and dangerous and akin to asking for a wedge to be driven between partners. But, with respect to those couples who choose to live that type of lifestyle, you draw the line where things get disrespectful, I guess. They probably set ground rules and guidelines or whatever. Who knows?
2016-03-28 00:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it's okay. You husband needs to understand that just because you are married doesn't mean that you have no individual identity. Explain to him that you married him because you love him very much and would never do anything to hurt him, but he doesn't own you and can't expect you to give up on friends that you feel close to.
2006-11-09 13:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, it's just ok to chat online. As long as you know your limitations. Explain to him that chatting with friends online are just the same with having friends in real life.
2006-11-09 13:47:49 · answer #7 · answered by josie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with it at all. I mean if your just chatting with them and since they all know your married and all. I'd just talk to your husband and help him to understand that your friends are no threat to your marriage to him.
2006-11-09 13:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't drop your friends? or your computer addiction? there is all kinds of addiction an i was really addicted one time to my computer friends , messenger ...360 an myspace! it is also an addiction you can't brake. i know because i have been through it as well!
2006-11-09 13:06:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is okay
2006-11-09 12:57:49 · answer #10 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋