molested...?

Question

This is kind of awkward to say...

Six years ago I was molested. I kept it to my self, and so did all the other girls (at least seven) I feel guilty and all the woulda-coulda-shoulda's are cathing up.

I told my parents last night and my best friends today. They said we could take this somewhere legally, but only with my permission. It's really complicated though. I love his family, but his wife and daughter would be split up. That might not be such a bad thing for her though, as their house is really a mess, their income isn't very good, but who am I to decide what is best for her?

What are my options? Are there any website with information you could give me?

He is 56 and diabetic, and his daughter is 10, and doctors think she is schizophrenic from a crazy babysitter who forced her to watch r rated movies, and his wife if looking through life with rose colored glasses. Their house always smells like cat urine because one of their cats is dying and can't make it to the litter box. I bet he could be gotten for child porn on his computer.

I have heard from one of the other girls that she said she selpt with him... I don't know if that is true or not because she isn't a very reliable source.

He is 56, diabetic, and overweight.

I feel used, dirty, broken, &c. the usual about what everyone else said.

I am wondering about sites so I could talk with other people.

I will do something about it legally, I have decided. My dad is a security gaurd at a college and works with police officers. I can't afford a lawyer or a detective or anything.

And most of all:
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT
I had pretty much made the decision I would, but there is no proof that it happened. The other girls were younger than I am so they might not even remember.

I was around nine, ten or eleven.

Answer 1

as a victim of molestation I have to tell you , please report it. If he molested you, it is likely that he molested his own daughter and even if not, how many other girls has he molested that are afraid to come forward? If you do nothing, how many other girls are going to have to be molested before he is not allowed to do this any longer.
My sister was raped by a neighbor at 10 and told no one until she was 16- she still struggles with fear because she waited so long and now he is in hiding. How many other girls has he abused and how many more is he going to be allowed to abuse?
As the victim of abuse, in order to make things seem not so bad for us, we wind up defending the abuser, putting their family and their reputation above ourselves because we feel not worth it.
Let me tell you now- YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!!
YOU ARE SPECIAL!!!
YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ABUSED!!!
no one has the right to treat you like this and what has happened to you is terrible. Don't trivialize it, there is nothing wrong with you- he is a sick sick man who needs help and if he refuses help then he needs to be disciplined for what he has done to you- it is NOT acceptable!! Unless you stand up for your rights and say this is not right and see that justice is done, oyu not only leave him open to abusing other girls, you leave yourself open to continue being a victim.
Please, I don't know how old you were when this happened, but for my children who are 10 and 14, and other children all over the US- report him! You are not shaming him and his family and don't let anyone make oyu believe that- HE made a poor choice and HE alone has shamed himself and brought these consequences on his family- what happens to his family is his fault and his fault alone- don't forget that!

Answer 2

That's a tough one, and I'm sorry you experienced that. Only you know for sure what is best for you. I can give you a few tips on how to work out a decision though.
First figure out if you can handle dealing with the questions the authorities will be asking you, and then maybe telling it in a court room. If you feel you can face that, then you need to think about this guys daughter, you stated you loved his family. Do you think he may be doing this to her too?
Then think about these questions
How many other girls is this man going to hurt? You already know of at least 8 including yourself.
Am I going to let him get away with violating me?

As for websites there are alot of differant sites you can look into, but I would recommend you make this you decision and not a websites. People can tell you what to do, but they are not in your shoes and don't know the details to what happened and all the emotional stress, so follow your own instincts on this. You did the right thing to tell your family, now you can have help dealing with this horrible experience.
Whatever you deside I wish you the best, take care and stay safe!

Answer 3

Sweet heart you should pursue legal action this should never have happened to you in the first place. You said that 7 other people went through the same thing with this man how many others could be or will be out there. This man is a monster taking advantage of people in such a way. You should look into some couselling in your area because this can scar you for life and possibly make you look at others in a different light. The best thing you can do for his family is let them know what type of person they are living with. Ihope this helps you out any.

Answer 4

Don't worry about his wife and daughter. His wife sounds miserable and he is probably molesting the daughter right now while you're on the computer. The house is a mess because the wife has no clue. If you are going to use them as an excuse then you need this guy handcuffed and answering questions and let this little girl have a life. You're not deciding what is best for her. He made the decisions.
Turn him in. He molested you and 7 other girls THAT YOU KNOW OF. I think you should be done with letting him continue to molest little girls. Why are you letting him continue?

Answer 5

This very same thing happened to one my granddaughters.
First of all, you are the most important, so you have to decide what you can live with. In her case she had some how blocked it from her mind. Years later he showed up at her school and she just lost it. Everything came flooding back to her and it was overwhelming.

Her Mother (minor) called the Police and an officer came out to the house to talk to my Granddaughter alone. Then a couple of days later my Granddaughter was contacted and asked to come down to the police station and talk to a detective. It was an awful process and my Granddaughter just couldn't handle it.

I am just trying to give you some idea of the process.

If you do decide to pursue this matter against him, find out if there is a statue of limitation in your state, before you do anything. Also check to see if the other girls are willing to stand up with you. If they are willing to get involved, your chances are much better.

There must be a Rape Crisis Support center near you, they should have all the answers to any questions and they should be able to help you.

Head up young person, my prayers are with you.

Answer 6

if u tell it would be good he needs justice its not fair to u or the other girls his family can get over it its not there fault and it wouldnt be urs either being molested is serious and its wrong u dont want him to do it to someone else but its really up to u but think about how u would feel if he got justice his family wouldnt be upset they would know y u did it just explain to them y u have to do it its for u its for the other girls its the right thing but maybe he changed and is a better man now and thats for u to decide but would u rather him be punished any way or just since hes changed let it go think about ask ur family talk to his family that would be good to see if they are ever unconfortable of him they might be scared of him

Answer 7

If it really happened I would go to some sort of legal authority . The abuse could still be going on and maybe you can stop others from being abused by him. Child abuse should not be tolerated no child should have to experience such sick behavior. I say send all child molestors off to an island somewhere never let them back into mainstream society.

Answer 8

Don't feel too bad about him splitting from his wife and daughter. If you and these other girls come forward, you could be protecting her. If he will molest someone else's child, he will molest his own. This might sound crazy, but it actually makes sense. This is because his own daughter is less likely to tell on him because she loves him, she is less likely to put up a fight because she trusts him, and she is also easy to get to because she is with him all the time. If he hasn't starting molesting her yet, he will, just give him time. Most sexual abuse occurs by older family members abusing younger ones.

Answer 9

Look. DO IT!!! Who know's mabey his daughter was molested too and she is keeping it a secret. TELL. Every mother with a little girl has the right to know. If you had a girl and had a husband who molested someone, you would want to know, don't you? Look do it. It will be hard in the end but they will appreciate it. Do it. Do it for your self. Make him pay. HE needs to get away. You letting him get away will let him win. You don't know how many people your saving right now. Beacuse if there is one victim, there has to be more. DO it. FOR yourself. For society. For them For him.

Answer 10

He has a daughter!!!!! Not that he is that type of molester, but they are all sick! Don't let him get away with this! And don't give up. I have been there I was 13. And it was my Grandfather and there were 12 granddaughters, and I always told myself, this may be hard but someone has to put there foot down. And your parents need to just do it. This decision should not rest on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please keep me posted!