I work with a married woman (I'm married too) who will be leaving the state in less than 2 months. Her husband is a bit controlling of her (monitors her phone, etc). She and I expressed our mutual attraction for each other at a work function a few ago. Since then, we've been out to lunch & last week she told me she'd like to go out for drinks after work this week after she returned to town from a trip with her husband. This week she basically told me that she enjoys my company too much to risk going out for drinks again. She & I both know this could turn sexual. The way I figure it, she'll be starting a whole new life in 2 months across the country. How can I convince her to live it up with me before she moves across country with her controlling husband? I Would appreciate responses from women who have walked this line. What would convince you? If she were just beautiful, this wouldn't be a problem, but I find her intelligent too & I can't resist that combo.
2006-11-09 11:09:45 · 22 answers · asked by DS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, you think that is what you want, but it isn't. And I'll tell you why. The more intimate your relationship becomes with her, the stronger your feeling will get. When she leaves, it will hurt the both of you A LOT and will take you a long time to get over.
I am in a very similar situation, where we did allow the relationship to become physical, and I know that one day soon I will leave and never see him again. The thought absolutely terrifies me, and had I avoided him from the get-go, I would still have a crush on him, but I defenetly would not feel the way I do now. He is the one who keeps telling me that nothing can happen between us, but he keeps slipping up. And now he has been completely avoiding me, I am not sure why, but I think it is because he feels guilty, and knows that if we see each other again, something will happen and he doesn't want to hurt his family. All in all, for whatever the reason, it really hurt me, and is making start to hate him for making me feel this way (its that love/hate thing we always hear about).
I know that if she would let you, you would go for it, because given the chance to have him again, I would, even thought I know it will only hurt me in the end, because that is how love is. It reminds me of that Garth Brooks song "The Dance." But I am just warning you, the deeper you get in, the more you will both be hurt. Take it as you will.
Good luck with this one!
And hey, if you have a sec, pls. answer my Q "Why is he doing this to me." I could use a little advice from someone in a similar situation.
2006-11-09 11:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regarding your question of if it is innocent or not, why put yourself in that position. If she is married then it is a danger zone and you need to do everything in your power to forget about her. If she will cheat on her husband, then later on down the road even if you think it can work out she will most likely cheat on you. Also, she is an office mate which I think it is best not to get involved with anyone you work with on a romantic level. If you are meant to be just friends and not romantic, then she will let you know how to contact her when the job ends. But as far as romance or sex goes, please do yourself a favor and don't even go there. You will be setting yourself up for more hurt and pain then the loss of her now. Once you have sex with someone, it is much harder to let someone go, and brings more torment and pain into your life. What if you fall in love with her? What then? She is married and it is best to just leave it alone.
2016-03-19 05:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Danger, Danger, Danger, as a married woman I can tell you that I can understand her need to "break free" and you seem to be the breath of fresh air but I can't except infidelity even if its just drinks. You both made vows and commitments to other people, how would you feel if the table was turned? Would you except your wife going out with another man? This is a fantasy gone wild and I think for the sake of your marriage and hers I think you two should end it and let her go on her way.
2006-11-09 11:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by livlovelaugh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off ask your wife for advice on this. I am sure she might have a thing or two to say about the matter, as well let the lady in question know you are only interested in sex with her, as she will be leaving, so ask can it be soon? and while you are at it why not go to the bar for drinks because while there you can case out your next conquest.. And if all goes well you will no doubt staring a whole new life soon your self
2006-11-09 11:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Convince her to slap some sense into you before you leave your wife. What did your wife do to deservee that. And I have a feeling your "mutual atraction" for this woman makes you see her husband in a worse light than he is.
2006-11-09 11:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Crisscross 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know that you feel for her...but how do you feel about your wife? I am not sure if it would be a good idea to have her live it up with you because if her controlling husband should find out, or if she should show up drunk, then he might beat the crap out of her. If you truly don't want to be with your wife and she don't want to be with her husband, then you 2 should get together and become a couple and live it up TOGETHER!
2006-11-09 11:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you are such a nice guy, you are thinking of her husband controlling her. So what if you are thinking about cheating on your wife. But your concern for her is your priority so you can sleep with her. You even don't mind messing up her life as she wants to avoid you. Hats off to you JERK
2006-11-09 11:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by A 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you both just get divorced so you can sleep with anyone you want at any time? That's what you want right? Wow-you're wife must be special.
So why did you get married...??
2006-11-09 11:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by Angelstar_BC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't convince her. It sounds like you want to cheat, and are just looking for a reason to. Don't drag her along with you.
2006-11-09 11:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why did you get married if you are going to cheat on your wife? Just because she has a controlling husband and she is leaving him doesnt mean you should go and sleep with her. I feel sorry for your wife.
2006-11-09 11:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋