I collect £2 coins. Yesterday, when I went to put some more coin into the jar they were all gone, about £200 pounds worth! I went down to the police station to see if they would take fingerprints if I paid for them but they said that they could only do it if I reported the crime. (It's not the first time money has gone missing and I need to know who is taking it!) I was advised to confront the kids which I have done but both deny taking the money. The boy is my partners' and the girl is mine and studying in order to be a barrister. Although my partner says he loves me, I don't believe I will have his full backing if I report the crime and it turns out to be his son. I am very strong willed and if it comes to it I will report it, come what may! At the moment, I feel like the bad guy instead of the victim of crime. Please help me!!!! I had a best friend that I used to talk to about difficult situations but he died in June and there is no one else that is impartial to talk to.
2006-11-09 11:08:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I would go through with the fingerprints and the report because people taking your stuff is unacceptable. Maybe your parnter will have you back if he finds out it was his son and he may punish his son and help you out. You never know. But I would still go through with it. Do U suspect your partner?
2006-11-09 11:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to devise a trick question or definite trap situation.
One is that you can get invisible ink from a shop and put it on either the money or the jar. At dinner time when everyone is eating you can excuse yourself and then quickly turn of the lights leaving everyone in the dark. While the suspense is growing you can whip out a uv torch. Very cloak and dagger!!! The culprit will have dye on their hands.
Another is to move the location of the jar. Take note of which of the children all of a sudden have misplaced items and are randomly searching the entire house for them.
The other trick would be to put a random amount back in the jar. Something like 157. When it goes missing make a "phonecall" to the police. It could be the talking clock for all they know! You should be sure that you make a really big deal about phoning the police and how you are really fed up with this. You should also blame the neighbour for effect and fabricate a ludicrous story about how this neighbour could have stolen the money. While this very 'loud' detailed plot is going on over the phone you yell out that 234 pounds was stolen.
Whoever the culprit is will be bound to make a slip up by blurting something out like 'no it wasn't' or 'coughing'. If it is not an immediate response they will soon be asking many questions.
If all else fails look for which child is buying new items of clothing , games, cd's. Maybe one of them has a problem and are having to pay someone off. Try hanging around the areas they go to on weekends. unseen of course, and dig around!!!
Good luck!!
2006-11-12 05:23:03 · answer #2 · answered by helper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you - this is a horrendously difficult situation and one that we, in our step-family, have also had to deal with, and to be honest, it is still not satisfactorily resolved.
In our case, first money from the 'pot' of coins went missing - none of the small ones just ALL the £1 and 50p coins. We KNEW it was one of the kids (young teens) but they denied it and we just carried on, like you do.
We have 3 of his kids, and 1 of mine. His eldest is not a suspect and nor is mine really - its his younger two that we think. But worse was to come and my teen's birthday money went missing. It was hidden in an unusual place, and not all was taken. Realistically we know that it could only have been one of his younger two kids. The boy was challenged about it, and denied it and seemed fairly honest - however we do know he has nicked things from us in the past (bottles of wine from the cupboard etc). The girl has not come to stay since the incident, and we feel she is probably the guilty party.
Back to your situation - you have both kids living with you (whereas in my case his two youngest don't) and both have had equal opportunity to take the money. You have asked them both and they both deny it. I think you and your partner should get the kids to sit down at a table and discuss the matter, calmly.
SOMEONE is lying. Obviously it is not you. It is POSSIBLE your partner took the money i suppose - for himself? to frame your daughter? or his son? Only you know if you feel any of that is likely.
Other money has gone missing. Do you feel your daughter would steal from you? Is she likely to want to frame his son for some reason?
When you sit at the table, if the family can't talk calmly then do the 'spoon' method. Only the person holding the wooden spoon can speak and the others have to put up their hand if they want to speak. The holder of the spoon then passes it over to whoever they wish to speak next. It seems silly but it does work.
Sit down and say, calmly, the money has gone missing and I dont think it is a chance thief. We need to work out who took it. It would be easier if whoever did owned up now and then we can try and work it out.
It may well be the boy, and maybe he is attention seeking, and maybe he doesnt feel he gets enough money for his needs.
Both you and your partner have to work together with this. I don't think reporting it missing at the police station was the first best option. This doesnt seem to me to be so much about money but more about the power struggle within the house.
Who does the house belong to? Who was there first?
I really feel for you, but don't know what i can say to help really. Our situation has been 'brushed under the carpet' somewhat, and i hate that and think it helps no-one. I hope you can get it resolved. I have had to let our matter drop against my better judgement.
You say you are very strong willed. Maybe this boy feels controlled by you....... he's at a difficult age, not quite a man. Hopefully your partner is a good man and will help you to work it all out. I am strong willed too, but some times maybe a more loving approach would work better.
Good luck anyway.
2006-11-10 21:39:18 · answer #3 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a jar? And its happened more than once? It can only be in the house that someone is taking it, try not leaving it around even though its all about trust as you should all trust each other in the house, just sounds like the kids have too much time on there hands get them into a sport or doing something to keep them busy, taken 10 pounds or less is something i am sure kids will do, what should be done is trying to let them know the importance of not just taken things that dont belong to them, they also migh not be getting enough support not sure as i cannot judge on what kind of household you from and sorry to hear about your friend but try not go as far as getting the police involved cause then a trust thing is broken and then you might just have ignited that fire even more.
2006-11-09 22:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by clinton o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you keeping all that ready cash in the house? Take the temptation away from them. Get the money out of the house, keep it in your car, in your job, in the shed, or simply in an account. I suspected one of my sons was taking money from my purse about ten years ago. I was working in a job where I got tips, and I would allow the tips to build up a little before I banked them, about once a month. I set a trap for him. I left a 10 pound note in a very visible place and I waited. I heard him leave his room, go into my room, and go back into his own room. Then he went downstairs, and I went up to check his room. My 20 quid was gone; it was on a shelf in his wardrobe. He got very angry that he'd been found out. I realised some of it was my own fault, and I stopped leaving cash lying around at all.Reporting it won't help anyone now, it will just antagonise everyone. Cut your losses on this one, and resolve it will never happen again. Take the money out of the house. Your partner will not take kindly to hearing that you suspect his daughter of taking it. Are you sure it's one of them and not your partner?sorry to be the devil's advocate here, but in the long run, it may be that in order to take control of the situation, you may have to change your saving habits.
2006-11-11 04:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you already suspect it is your partners boy who did it.............
What if you find out it was your daughter????
Rather than involving the police, I would get everyone to sit down as a family and try and get to the bottom of it that way, ask if the kids have some problems they need to talk about....tell them you wont be angry if one of them has taken the money you just want to know what they need that kind of money for, are they in trouble of some kind or something?
You and your partner need a united front on this one.
2006-11-09 20:33:46 · answer #6 · answered by EMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stealing is a crime and this is a lot of money.You need to find out who is doing this and explain how wrong this is.If they are getting off with this they will probably try something bigger and maybe outwith the house at a friends or neighbours. Try marking the money or something like that.
2006-11-11 08:57:24 · answer #7 · answered by sanny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can suggest is that you go through his belongings while he is out. does he have anything new that you know he couldn't have afforded? does he have a drug problem? is he prone to lying? if you find any incriminating evidence or even a pile of coins in his room, speak to him. calmly. you don't want to aggrivate a teenager. always ensure the kids that if they ever needed money, all they have to do is ask. this will establish trust and security and hopefully less theft. and get a safe...
2006-11-10 00:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by Roxane B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
youll never know unless you do the finger prints and if it turns out that it was you partners son then have his father do the diciplin and if he doesnt then tell him its over if its your daughter have a talk and punishment sorry about the sticky situation
2006-11-09 11:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would set a trap
but are you sure it is not your partner that is taking the money
2006-11-09 11:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋