We have two teenagers living in mine and my partners house with us. My daughter, 17 and my partners son 16...?

Question

I collect £2 coins. Yesterday, when I went to put some more coin into the jar they were all gone, about £200 pounds worth! I went down to the police station to see if they would take fingerprints if I paid for them but they said that they could only do it if I reported the crime. (It's not the first time money has gone missing and I need to know who is taking it!) I was advised to confront the kids which I have done but both deny taking the money. The boy is my partners' and the girl is mine and studying in order to be a barrister. Although my partner says he loves me, I don't believe I will have his full backing if I report the crime and it turns out to be his son. I am very strong willed and if it comes to it I will report it, come what may! At the moment, I feel like the bad guy instead of the victim of crime. Please help me!!!! I had a best friend that I used to talk to about difficult situations but he died in June and there is no one else that is impartial to talk to.

Answer 1

It must be an awful feeling to not be able to trust the people in your house (I include them all cos it could be any of them). When kids are backed into a corner they will lie til the cows come home to keep out of trouble. Maybe it was one of their friends??. The only thing I can suggest is give it a month and leave some money on the bench or a hall stand and leave it there for a few days and set up a "nanny cam" and catch whoever it is. It will save you from making allegations against those in your home. Good luck xx

Answer 2

Well, you do have two teenagers and either one of them could be guilty. That is just part of being a teenager. Of course they aren't gonna tell you if they took the coins. My suggestion to you is to let this whole mess go. If you really enjoy being with your partner, then you shouldn't let a coin collection come between you. If you report the crime, then you could lose the respect of more than just the person who is guilty, and you will probably still not get the collection back. You should think about buying a safe or something to put your coins in. And put it somewhere that your kids don't have access to it.

Answer 3

I would report the crime and take whatever comes from this, I hope you also prepare yourself for the fact it may be your daughter too. I say this because my friend went through the same thing and money went from everywhere, lots of it, it was her daughter, not reporting this isn't doing anyone any favors, if it is the boy then he too must face the music and you must face his father and do whatever it is you need to. Women are strong and you can survive, don't let this man stop you from finding the truth, it will end the relationship anyway, through doubt and lack of trust.

Answer 4

If this is the first time it has happened, I think going to the police may cause a lot of distention in the house, and may cause undue stress within your relationship both with the children and your partner.
I think you need to sit both kids down, with your partner and discuss if either of them think their allowance is too low and give them the opportunity to put forward a reasonable arguement for it being raised. You can also put it to them that they would be welcomed with open arms and without judgement if they were honest and open about any problems they may be facing or have gotten into, and you will do your best to help them sort it out.
You could offer to help them find part time jobs in order to boost their personal income etc.
However, you need to stress, that this will be the first and last time you look the other way about theft within the house. If it happens again you will, without hesistation, go to the police.
This way you are offering them the support they may need if one of them has got into trouble, but at the same time letting them know that dishonesty and deceipt will not be tolerated.
Oh and get a locakable cash box to save your coins.
Good luck

Answer 5

we had the same problem...my partner has this large glass jar and he puts all his coins in it....a few weeks ago we counted it because we were going to use it for christmas and there was not much in there, there was about £400.00 even though he put money in it every day...there should at least be over 2 grand in there...they were £1 coins and £2 coins....two of his daughters have stayed a few times and he thinks it's one of them...it obviously is...but he wont say anything...so i will suggest to you what i suggested to him...what ever money you have laying round the place....put it away so no one knows where it is (only you)...i think it may be both the kids at your place dipping into it...you cannot just blame one...they might have both had a dabble...let it go and next time dont leave it laying about the place...theres no need to call the police...you cannot prove who it was at this point

Answer 6

From what I can see, you are really in a difficult position. There is a chinese saying "money cannot be in the open and cannot let others know or see it, or it will be gone".
My advice to you is to let the matter rest if you want this relationship with your partner. Inform your daughter to keep tight her valuable and yourself too. If you have evident to show the boy, talk to him tell him that you will give him one chance and advice him never do that again. As for your partner, depends on how sensitive he is on this kind of matter. He might accept and lecture his son or he might think that you are picking on him. Unless you have prove to show him.
I know how is it like to lost someone whom you can really talk to, but don't worry, we all in yahoo answers are your friend and will listen and help you. Take care.

Answer 7

I understand your dilemma as a parent myself. I can be very strong willed. My best advice to avoid any issues is since your money is not safe and you know now it you may have to find a safer place or lock it up. It is probably the boy. but is it worth the pain you may cause your family? you should go by that saying "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me." If there is something you could do to protect your stuff you may just have to do it. Kids will take money. I use to take extra change when I found it. To save your family just put the money in a safer place. I keep mine at work locked in my draw.

Answer 8

It sounds like the region is two-fold and would desire to be dealt with in the main suitable order. first you're able to desire to unravel your companions ideals. could he desire his son to do issues like this and conceal it from the international as though he have been ok on the interior? Does he experience his son can do no incorrect? point the enjoying container right here and see if he likes the belief of his son doing evil issues. when you get your companion on board, then confront the son with out being timid. positioned your enjoying cards on the table and make the son inspect the information against him. This son needs to woken out of a bad dream, so ask your self him. Now the different depend is this. Stealing regularly ability that the money are getting used for no solid reason, alongside with foodstuff, outfits, charity, and so on. you're able to desire to verify the place the money is going and you will locate out something else concerning the son.

Answer 9

Hello hon, i had a simular problem several years ago between my own daughters, i went out and got myself ac small but sturdy safe? lockbox, the theft stoped right then and there, never did find out which one it was though, and after 20+ years not any sense bringing it up, and no, neither of them owened up to it, just get yourself a safe or something like that,, or you can always go to someplace like radioshack and buy one of those very tiny mini cams and hook it up to your video recorder and bust them or whom ever is responsable,,rather your child or his at least you
ll know the truth goood luck ,stinger5906,,,,,,

Answer 10

report it. and you don't need to be with a partner who is not 100% loyal to you, and would support a theiving son. If you are going to be a family unit, you should all be 100% committed to each other.