ok.. so i am 20 y/o and i have been trying to figure out who i am and who i wanna be for a while now. there were times when i thought i found myself but i would later discover that i wasnt that person. now, i constantly find myself trying to impress people and i find myself feeling stupid at a days end. i also am constantly looking at different actors and wanting to act like them. the weird thing is i sometimes feel that i want to be like zack braff and other days wanna be like Dr. House. i am exausted from trying so hard. what do i do?
2006-11-09 11:00:04 · 7 answers · asked by doctorhockey18 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Don't try to impress anyone. If people like you, they are going to like you for the real you. They won't like you for very long if you are trying to be someone else. It's great that you have role models though. If there are certain morals, values, or traits that these role models have that you admire-it doesn't hurt anything to adopt those traits, values, or morals as your own as long as you appreciate where they come from. It helps to focus on the things you like and don't like, defining right from wrong, and things you are good at versus those things you are not good at. These help define who you are. Once, you accomplish these then it should be easier for you to be yourself. An actor is obviously not the solution as it causes you grief. Try not to focus so much on others or worry about what others think so much. Focus more on what you think and how you will respond to certain situations. It will take time to master this but once you do you will discover who you are. You don't necessarily have to travel to do this either. Travelling can become very expensive and all it does in the long run is give you the opportunity to decide whether you like it or not. Sometimes being alone is the best answer because it takes all of the focus off of the distractions that can come from travelling and from other people and places it strictly on you.This might be what you need some quiet time to yourself for awhile. I hope this helps. Good Luck!
2006-11-09 11:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by ace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im 20 myself and found my self in the same position at 18 i went on holliday on my own spent a lot of time looking back at my past i found my self inspired by people i had met i relised you should do things for your self never for or to please another they wont do the same try things you enjoy if you fail or it ends up being not right for you try some thing else your life is your life you make what comes of it at the emd of the day you are only 20 act your self dont imitate others and remeber some of the most succesful people of any age still dont know who they are or what they want just make choices that you enjoy and dont worrie about who you are if you like yourself screew the people who dont because there will be plenty of people who think your fine the way you are give it time and youll find your way in life i did
2006-11-09 19:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by LIL'EM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The things that help us determine who we are : time and experience. You need time to experience things. I went through s lot during my high school years that later (when I matured) helped me realize who I am.
Here's my story: I was adopted into a rich family. They taught me to accept every person as an individual and not to judge race, gender, sexualy preference, religion, etc. And I don't. I have also always been skinny and attractive my whole life so I learned how to manipulate men as young as 12. (not sexually, or anything. but just playing into the fact that I was cute and later on, hot) I got kicked out of public high school my first year. I got kicked out of private school my second year. My last two years I was at a boarding school that was sort of a military-style school. I am currently in the Air Force and have a very solid view on my life and where I want it to go. I could have gone to any college but I wanted to make a name for myself, by myself.
good luck
2006-11-09 20:09:13 · answer #3 · answered by ur a Dee Dee Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find out who you are when you become your own person and stop letting the views and opinions of others effect or change your views, actions and opinions. Who you are can and does change. It happens as a result of living. Travel helps you find out who you are because you are away from your regular influences but time and independant research into your personal belifes and what you stand for can do the same thing. The cool thing is as you are only 20 you have plenty of time to find out. Don't rush it.
2006-11-09 19:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by WriterChic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you act?
If so, be you, be real. Don't emulate anyone.
The important thing to do is to try everything, don't label yourself.
I am still in the same boat as you, and although I know myself incredibly well, what I want to do with the rest of my life is a hard question to answer
2006-11-09 19:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to freak out. It's okay not to know exactly who you are at your age. I'm not exactly sure of my own identity and I'm twenty as well.
It's fine if your similar to others (including actors) but don't purposely try to imitate them. In my opinion there is only One you should imitate and actors are not Him.
Maybe if you stop trying to be other people who you are will suddenly shine through. Maybe you've been pushing yourself down because you're trying to be someone you're not.
2006-11-09 19:13:53 · answer #6 · answered by isitlove20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go travelling for a while, maybe by yourself. You will meet so many new people, you will find your natural personality just emerges.
2006-11-09 19:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mary C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋