What do you do about working things out by going to counseling when you & your partner have different values? She likes her space & wants to go out with her single friends & keep in touch with her ex on a regular basis. I on the other hand believe in togetherness & doing things as a couple. I disgaree with her values & she disgree's with mine.
2006-11-09 10:47:03 · 7 answers · asked by J.J. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It seems to me that you picked the wrong partner. It's important for both people to have similar goals.
Don't know if counseling will work for you. It's hard, if not impossible, to change someone.
2006-11-09 10:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, going to counseling may help...but it definitely won't change her views or yours. She obviously wants to live her life her way. I believe that when you are in a relationship it becomes about the two of you...not just one or the other. Keeping in touch with an ex...hmmm...I don't agree with that...I personally do not feel it's necessary for anyone to keep in touch with an ex unless you have children with them or something else along those lines. I feel that when you are an ex...it was for a reason and that should be that. The two of you will have a very unsuccessful relationship if the two of you don't look at the value of a relationship in the same way. One of you could just completely give up their way of thinking and try and look at things their way...but eventually you will build a resentment towards them...so I would take the time now to reevaluate what it is you really want from a significant other and see if she meets the criteria.
2006-11-09 18:59:36 · answer #2 · answered by KG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems that the two of you are like chalk and cheese. How about trying to reach some kind of compromise that both of you feel comfortable with, without compromising each others values. Allow her certain days to be with her friends and certain days where just the two of you do something together. If you still are not happy with this, then maybe counselling is an option, but to make it work, you'll both have to find some kind of middle path, because neither one of you can expect the other to change completely. Best of luck and hope things work out for you guys.
2006-11-09 18:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by salstick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that your core values are different and that she may not be as committed to the relationship as you are, if I were you, I would end it now on good terms, and still maintain a friendship (like from the sounds of it, her last boyfriend did) and begin looking for somebody who is ready to be in a relationship. Neither of your values are going to change right now and maybe when hers do it might work out for you but now is not the time to be together.
2006-11-09 19:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants to go out with her single friends.... hello does she wanna be single again? Being a couple is 'togetherness' and 'doing couple things'! Yes, you have your time apart but not to the extent that she's going to..... she keeps in contact with her ex on a regular basis? ha what a joke... is she a hippie? Thats not right at all!
2006-11-09 18:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by Brookeo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she prefers the single life so she shouldnt be married to anyone
2006-11-09 18:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you can not agree on values you are never going to be a couple, also what else is buried in there
2006-11-09 19:29:23 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋