Recently I have heard from several different people that they engage in premarital sex because they want to test drive their partner out before they take the plunge and get married. They claim they want to know that everything works well and don't want to get stuck (in marriage) with someone who can't satisfy them.
My questions are.....
1. Would you really give up a wonderful person who is everything you want and need, but is lousy in bed just because they are lousy in bed?
2. For those of you who waited to have sex until marriage....do you regret it? Were you disappointed sexually? Were you that disappointed that you would divorce the person or have sex outside of your marriage?
2006-11-09 10:46:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, my hubby and I were not disappointed. Now we are still going strong after nearly a decade. Our sex life has not dwindled in the least. Either way, we were friends before marriage. We have more a connection than just sex and we know things can happen to prevent it on either end. Love is not just about sex. Yes, sex is awesome, but if it were sex that brought us together then it is only a shallow love. Not deep enough to keep the marriage strong.
2006-11-09 10:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First off, I never waited... Sex was not about "test-driving" or anything like this - it was just another way of connecting with a person, like talking or sharing a meal. To me, it's always been just a normal part of a healthy adult relationship - nothing more, nothing less. I don't see sex as something mystical, or as something that can make or break a marriage. But it IS a part of a more general compatibility with a person, and as such plays an integral part in the development of a serious relationship. No, I would not "give up" a wonderful person simply because he was not the best lover. But I couldn't continue a relationship without some sort of sexual compatibility. It does no good to be with the most "wonderful" person in the world when I can't stand for him to touch me - or when he wants sex every day, and I only want it once a month. It will not be so "wonderful" after a while.
2006-11-09 11:15:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Nope. I've been on both sides. I lost my virginity at age 14, and 20 years later, I married a 33 year old virgin. I did have several relationships in those 20 years; the most recent prior to my husband lasted only a few months. I was working an over night security job at the time and contiplating the break-up. I was thinking about how many partners I had and was kind-of embarassed. I had just met my husband (for the first time) earlier that day, and I was sort-of thinking, sorta praying, and I told God if He took away this icky feeling I was experiencing, I wouldn't have sex again until I was married. Then my next thought was "what would the dude I met earlier today think about that?" Why do I care? Then, the thought, "He's your husband" flashed through my mind. And then, "He's a virgin. He'll respect you for that decision." We were married a little over a year later. No regrets.
2006-11-09 11:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This question is to broad a spectrum the chopice to wait or not is totally a personal issue and can be religious reasons, morals, or simply saving themselves for the one they marry. My wife and I waited persay that she was my first and I was hers marriage did come but we did have some fun before that day it still to this day very exhilirating that we both were each other first's I do think you should save yourself this day and age because of all the diseases in this world and it will also show the person you do end up marrying isn't like your 50th encounter sex should be a intimate bonding of a couple in love period. Not just a one night stand that ends up giving you an STD.
2006-11-12 10:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I regret waiting as long as I did.
I would not leave someone because they were 'lousy' in bed. I would leave someone because they were unwilling to put any time or effort into having an enjoyable sex life for both of us.
I think sexual compatability is very rarely a matter of technique so much as it is drive and willingness to work with your partner's drive.
2006-11-10 03:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. I would not give up someone just becuase of sex. A relationship is about soooo much more than sex-sex is just the icing on the cake. If a relationship revolves around sex-than it's lust, not love.
2. We waited until our wedding night and no we were not dissappointed. We have our bumps but it's fun to figure it out together. I would rather marry someone who is the most wonderful person in the world but not to hot in bed, then a hottie in bed but a jerk in life. What kind of life would that be?? Besides, when you get married-with work, household chores, bills-sex is not in the forefront of your mind all the time.
2006-11-09 11:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by Angelstar_BC 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
"Honey, you know that I love you. But, I think it would be best if I took your vagina for a test drive!"
What!? That's one lame excuse.
My wife and I were virgins when we married 35 years ago, and we've been faithful to each other since. THere's a tremendous amount of freedom and comfort in marriage when you're not carrying guilt or emotional scars and you're not carrying mental images/memories from pre-marital sexual experiences.
2006-11-09 11:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by asperens 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I'm waiting till I get married. It's the right thing to do. And my fiance has waited too (6 more months to go)
It will be WELL worth the wait.
2006-11-09 10:51:38 · answer #8 · answered by Katie Beth 2 · 5⤊ 3⤋
My husband and I waited and we fit perfectly. It was worth the wait.
2006-11-09 11:01:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Quality people are hard to find, you can always work on the sex part...classes, books etc.
2006-11-09 10:56:52 · answer #10 · answered by kittypunx 1 · 5⤊ 2⤋