Why do people go crazy when divorcing?

Question

I am not talking about relationships in which there is abuse - but relationships in which people grow apart and one party is not committed enough to work it out. One person has an affair and the other person is destroyed. One person jumps into a serious relationship with the "other woman/man" and believes they have now found the person who they will spend the rest of their lives with. The other person has absolutely nothing to give emotionally. How does a married couple, who could predict each others thoughts, get so far apart? Who is crazier - the person who moves on immediately or the one who does not? Or do we all just go a little crazy until we accept what has happened and truly moved on with no bitterness, anger or hurt?

Answer 1

I think you are on the right track as far as we all go a little crazy cause of the bitterness and the hurt, but for your question of someone moving on quickly, I believe that has a lot to do with living in denial, not wanting to face reality and the truth, being cowardly and not trying to resolve things in a christian manner, yes it's far easier to tuck and run and dodge but sooner or later you have to stop and face the music, we get caught up in listening to other people who claim to be our friends and support who supposedly have conquered what we are going through and have so much to offer, but in the long run when things get tough where are they, now they don't have the time or decide it's best not get involved! I can honestly say even though I have made my share of mistakes and share the blame for our problems , at least I have tried to work things out and go through the proper channels before resorting to a divorce situation, but after all reality tells me also that it takes two to make any relationship work. just having a clean conscience and no skeletons in my closet makes me feel real good about my decisions I have made. I hope this helps , good luck in everything you do and God bless.

Answer 2

Holy moly do you know me? I'm living this as we speak and I'm definitely going crazy, actually already there. When a couple start to grow apart or there are issues in the marriage don't both of you know it, feel it? When the one who had the affair and leaves then tries to tell you that you've grow apart or other things that seem to be pretty minor (not bad enough to end a marriage) and wants to move on its hard to believe a word they say do to the circumstances, if it's true why was nothing said prior to an affair now it sounds like they are trying to justify what they've done and to us it sounds like complete crap and destroys you to here the person you love so much actually say these things to you. The worse of all is their refusal at even one attempt to work things out. It leaves you deeply hurt, scars that never heal and you feel like there is so much left unfinished. I have been struggling with this pain for 7 months and it is not any easier today then it was the day he did this. How do you go from the point of them saying to "I love you" and then leave you 2 days later? I don't understand at all and he does no explaining and avoids me as much as possible. Is this the thanks I get after 16 years? Can't imagine anything worse.

Answer 3

I can't tell you. I think a person who is genuine about their marriage want ot work it out. However, if anger and resentment grow both do not move on. I would not consider that crazy. It human for emotion and pain to turn to bitterness if we let it. Some people like my mother and father never truly get on. My mom is married once again for 10 years and still cannot totally let go, though it was here that wanted it. Dad and mom are friends now and moved on with their lives. My dad, loving my mom to this day has never remarried nor does he ever care to. He says once you have loved as much as your mom and I there is no need to find another. It was not always this way but they still care for each other deeply. But it is not the same as they cared for each other before. I have been married for together with my hubby for almost a decade now and we are going strong.

Answer 4

Married couples get far apart with lack of communication. Some, not all, think that because they have the ring on their finger they no longer have to make an effort in their relationship.
The person that is "crazier" is the one who moves on right away. If you're out looking for someone to help cover up your emptiness, depression, and all the emotions that come with divorce, you're only going to hurt the "new" person and yourself worse.
It's not expected for one to move on immediately after divorce. All wounds take time to heal..

Answer 5

I think the person who moves on is crazier. You have to have time to mourn the loss of the relationship or it will come back to bite you. Going crazy, at least for a little while, is a good thing.

Answer 6

I agree with armywifehaney...
I believe you should finish one chapter in your book before starting a new one. It is only fair to all parties involved. Moving on before you have finished dissolving your marriage will only drive everyone crazy! The cheator is the source of craziness! More than likely the cheating party will not spend the rest of their lives with the person he/she has cheated with - he/she is just looking for comfort or a distraction from the pain or stress of marriage/divorce. It is a way to avoid dealing with it!

Answer 7

Well they don't really understand that "wife" is a "Life" and getting craze to exit from the relationship they already established.It's not a good move if you have craziness.Always try to calm down-think and rethink,before moving on find out if you have made a mistake if any.If so try to understand or learn from your own mistake.cause you are reading so many romantic novels or watching movies.Keep your interest in her,not in her organs or dress.say Hmmmm and glance at her with a smile.Let both of you think themselves,,What if you're not perfect?

Answer 8

the faster the extra useful on your individual financial wellbeing and to make your destiny extra useful. i think of precise now in this u . s . and overseas, marriage & having infants is a frightening proposition whether you reside collectively or no longer. as we talk, the divorce fee is so intense through no-fault divorce. in case you have young infants, for females - meaning they carry all the enjoying cards. a guy as we talk has to realize that, love and "the dream" aside, the risks to adult adult males/fathers far outweigh the rewards. verify the source - some super books and different aspects on only this situation. kinfolk court is tilted heavily in desire of females/mothers. mothers have all the rights, get all the advantages, and dad is only too frequently relegated to a customer in his youngster's lives whilst being an ATM gadget for mom. He can lose a million/2 (or extra) of the money, vehicles, residing house, investments, etc... and worse - the youngsters. heavily, if I had wide-unfold then what i be attentive to now approximately how the divorce gadget sucks in fathers, grinds them up, and spits them out so unceremoniously, i'd have in no way gotten married. i'd have given up my dream of having a kinfolk. without-fault divorce (the biggest killer of marriage and households) you do no longer want an excuse anymore to break up. you basically do no longer would desire to sense like being married anymore - and with that certainty comes the certainty - a marriage is no longer a freelance, so what's the component different than to place your self and your destiny in threat whilst somebody "does not sense like it anymore?" With females (who've infants) beginning up virtually 3/4 of divorces as we talk (maximum adult adult males do no longer even see it coming), it is the clever guy who chooses to no longer get married and in no way have infants... and that's a shame. This impacts adult adult males, females, and young infants alike. It impacts certainly everyone and persons would desire to awaken to that certainty. i be attentive to that there are awful adult adult males and awful fathers in this international - yet make no mistake - the are an astounding sort of awful females and awful mothers in this international and we could constantly all be dealt with an identical way (stable or undesirable) and that only isn't occurring as we talk. The longer you wait, the bigger the flair expenditures.

Answer 9

I agree with "newmanagain" very well put. I was in that same position. I begged, pleaded and tried to work on my marriage after my wife cheated. I can now look back with no regrets. Knowing that before I walked away I went to her trying to make things right.

Answer 10

to me niether is crazy...the one that cheated already moved on when they cheated the non cheater however thought there was still a mariage and needs to morun what was. The other knew what was going on when they cheated and didnt need to mourn it.