Is emotional unfaithfulness worse or the same as physical unfaithfulness?

Question

My husband has been in the penitentiary for almost three years and I am only able to speak to him once every two weeks and via snail mail. When I say emotional, I am refering to leaning on another man for that daily communication and companionship that one was accustomed to with a person of the opposite sex. Physical of course is self explanatory. He was incarcerated for theft and knew what was at stake before he did it. I was left alone with two children, $100, no job (he owned his own business), and eventually no house or car. ( They were both repoed.) I still love him but he isn't there for me like I need him to be.

Answer 1

I think it's normal for you to feel emotional attachment to your friend, your husband is not available. What you need to look at is whether or not you're having these feelings because you are looking for someone to replace your husband or whether you have realized that things aren't the same since he was put in jail. What he did to you was very selfish. I know you said you loved him still. Is he going to be there for you in the long haul though or is he going to split once his sentence is up? The fact that he made a conscious decision to do something unethical regardless of his family obligations to you and your children, this is something I think you need to seriousyl consider.

Emotional unfaithful is still a form of cheating. That's where it starts, I know, my ex husband never physically cheated on me, so he says, but he was emotionally attached to another woman. Follow your heart but also use your head, you are a smart woman and you also need to do what's best for you and your children. Have the self esteem to do what you know in your heart is right. Sometimes you can still love a person and because you love them, you realize you will be happier apart.

Answer 2

If you mean unfaithfulness by means of someone sharing intimate and personal emotions w/someone outside of their relationship w/their partner then I believe it is worse.
When the physical unfaithfulness happens it could be a moment in time where they lost control of their self. The emotional thing is a deeper commitment to another person. To talk to someone who is not their partner about the inner working of the relationship and void the closeness shared is much worse.
edit.
The thing is your man knew what was possible when he did the crime and voided the husband and wife relationship. Your additional details added later explains a lot. You need someone to help you and if it becomes more then the husband is mainly at fault. You love him of course, but really did he think of you and the kids before he put you in this situation. Be well and be ha;;y

Answer 3

It depends, if you have a guy friend that you confide in and talk to then there isn't really issues. As long as your feelings for him remain as "friendship". Now if you find yourself falling in love with this person, and you have an emotional investment in this person. I'd say it's worse.

Physical is just that...physical. Emotional, goes down to your core. People have been able to bounce back from physical unfaithfulness, I just don't see emotional being easier.

Answer 4

emotional unfaithfulness? that happens when what... your guy talks to someone besides you?

Being a woman.. I really hate the fact that most women think that they can define unfaithfulness as any damn thing they want... if their guy dreams, looks, glances, talks, or comments on another woman they are being unfaithful.

emotional unfaithfulness... wow... so.. lt me guess he had phone sex with someone? or got off thinking/talking to someone else?

emotional enfaithfulness... that would be betraining your partners emotions? in that case... he is "into" someone else but its just a "platonic" relationship or they are "just friends"?

Men are never "just friends" with a woman. Boys are "just friends" with girls because thats all they know how to do. Once you discover sex.. no one is "just friends" with the opposite sex. There is always an agenda - ALWAYS. Men only hang around women they find attractive and want to have sex with. women only keep men around when they think they will be needing them (ie.. they are not sure their current relatioship will work).

So...if you are in a committed relationship and either one of you has one of those "just friends" - then there are problems.

My opinion is that no one can be unfailful unless somone puts something in someone else phsically. Then.. yep... thats badness.

Answer 5

In my opinion, emotional cheating is worse.
There are many factors that could affect physical, cheating such as drugs or alcohol, or even very low self esteem.
Emotional cheating, however, takes time. A person has to choose to disclose things on a personal level. They have to take the time to get close to someone and everything that happens is their own choice. There could be things you choose not to discuss with your significant other, but you might feel able to talk about them with another person. I feel that could hurt your spouse more than a lapse in judgment or control when it comes to physical cheating.

Answer 6

Emotional is way worse. you can cheat physically, but not feel anything for the other person. But emotionally, you're drawn to that person the way you should be to your partner. Neither unfaithfulness is okay...and if either one occurred in my relationship, I would leave my husband.

Answer 7

They are both not good. And depending on the situation, emotional unfaithfulness can be more deeply damaging than physical unfaithfulness.

Answer 8

He's lucky you even are and seem to be waiting for he to get out. If he had though as much of your relationship as you he would be there with you. Physical is of course worse. Another bad thing is to discuss personal issues that should stay between you and you spouse.

Answer 9

Holy Crap...you haven't moved on yet??!! Sure you love him//blah blah blah...but he's a felon!! You have kids to worry about and need to better yourself which means breaking ties with him. But to answer your question..he's not being unfaithful. He's in jail! He only has other guys/cellmates to talk to. What do you think he should do..not talk to anyone except you every couple weeks??

Answer 10

it's worse. atleast on you..because being emotionally unfaithful means your alone in the unfaithfulness..plus on a technicality it isn't cheating so it'll leave you feeling nothing short of confused...and overtime the guilt builds up..so maybe, if you don't feel right on the inside about your relationship then you need to maybe end it..because it's unfair to both of you...you'll both wind up unhappy. if you truly have feelings for someone else perhaps thats where you should be. i hope everything turn oput okay.