When your child has a disagreement with your stepchild...?

Question

Do you tend to automatically take the side of your own child? Or in fighting the urge to do so, do you find yourself taking the side of your stepchild?

(Both children are five years old.)

Answer 1

Natural instinct tends to make you take your own childs side regardless of whose right or wrong ,the only problem with this is that as the children get older they notice the different ways they are treated, my personal belief is that they should be treated all the same now my 2 eldest children were taken on by my present husband at a very early age both young adults now but my 2 youngest are my husbands,i have always found he treated them all the same, other people have noticed as well and his answer to those asking how do you manage that, has always been ,he remembers his own childhood and the different ways in which his brothers and step sisters were treated and that no child in his family was ever going to have to endure that kind of upbringing all my children absolutely worship him and my boys who are close to their natural dad are well adjusted individuals so i would suggest as hard as it is when the kids are together and as tough as it is that the same rules apply to both saving you much resentment and aggro in their later years,GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

My husband and I met when his daughter was only four months old and married soon after that. Personally, I have always felt that she was, in fact my daughter as well in all aspects. We also have three other girls together now, and there are many fights between them. The oldest two are four and six. When there are fights, I worry that the discipline will come back on us through my step daughter's natural mother, but I am still fair. I do not show favoritism towards my daughters or step daughter. I do not feel it is my natural children's birthright to let them get away with anything and I obviously went into the relationship knowing there was a child there already. If you take one particular side in everything, all of the children will know and use it to their advantage. There may also be added stress between the parents because no matter what anyone says, if their child is singled out, they feel the heat and anger.
Sorry for the long answer, but it is the best answer in words that others can understand...
good luck!

Answer 3

here is the problem they are 5 you should not be choosing sides at all. no matter who it was that caused the problem, because the one could have caused the problem when you were not looking and the only thing your seeing is the other retaliating so right away you think that one was the trouble maker. do you see what I'm getting at? when they have these disagreements try to step back and let them work it out, don't get involved, unless things get out of hand. and when it does, both kids need to be punished, and the punishment needs to be the same. these kid will learn to work out their problems. because they will both know that no matter who is right and who is wrong they will both be in trouble. don't get into the middle of it. if you have one come to you and say the other one did this or said that, look at the child and simply say the two of you need to work it out im not getting in the middle, also tell him that if they cant work it out then they both know what will happen. good luck. remember this could take some time, so bare with it.

Answer 4

It depends on the situation sometimes both, however its natural. My solution at that age is that they are getting to the point where you should mediate not take sides at all. Teach the kids to respect each others view point and understand the others feelings and help them figure out a way to come to a solution. You should be there to mediate and empathize with each child use gentle urging to get them to talk and make sure that you are there to help and keep things friendly but DONT take sides. It maybe hard not to take sides but try

Answer 5

I will always take my children's side.