When do you know its time to call it quits?

Question

My wife and I have been married for about 1 year now. We have a lot of problems and I dont really adapt to the person she wants me to be. I am American and she is Italian, there is a small barrier. I love her so much, but we just cant seem to stop arguing. I am against going to a marriage shrink because I simply dont have the money to spend on that.

One side I feel that if I leave her I will regret it, but on the otherside I feel that I am losing my sanity. I love this woman, but I cant do it anymore. I need to be healthy in my own right, and we both need to be able to think on our own.

When does a person actually know its time to call it quits?

Answer 1

As long as you're both willing to work on the relationship, then it isn't time to call it quits. However, you both have to agree with the fact that you are who you are. You fell in love, got married, and love each other being who you are. Now you're married, you lose your identity, and become someone else? I don't think that's how things are suppose to work.

I've found that loving someone is the easy part. It's living with them that takes work. If you find that things are a one way street and both of you aren't looking to work on the relationship, then that's when it's time to call it quits.

Answer 2

Only a year and your already giving up? If you really love her and are truly committed to her, you will realize there is no calling it quits. Marriage is a contract, a commitment to love, honor and cherish, in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, until death do you part.

If you don't feel you can afford a marriage counselor, you might consider using the principles from the Bible and treat her as you like to be treated. Your heritage shouldn't pose a problem. My husband is hispanic and I'm anglo....big deal. Yes, there were some culteral things we needed to work through, but our relationship with each other has always been the most important thing in our marriage (other than our personal relationship with Jesus Christ). My husband is my best friend, and the hardest times in our marriage have been when we weren't acting like each other's best friend.
Treat her with kindness, love, gentleness, compassion....no matter what.

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. God is listening and He cares.
I pray you'll consider looking to him.

Answer 3

First off most Italians are passionate people, and I mean passionate about everything. This is just a suggestion, sit down with your partner each of you write down ten things you love about the other then write down ten things that just drive you nuts, talk about your list then start by each of you picking one thing that drives your partner nuts and promise to fix the problem within a certain time frame that you both agree upon. When that time arrives meet back with your list and pick the second thing to work on. Communicate, always, and make a rule, NO YELLING ALLOWED. Good luck! Love can be hard at times but a little work may be all you need.

Answer 4

If your marriage isn't worth the price of counseling to try and mend it, then you're right. It's over.

There are counseling services that charge on a sliding scale based on income or are low / no cost. If you love her like you say you do, you'll find a way to make the counseling happen.

It's only been a year; it's not like she's your girlfriend, she's your WIFE, whom you say you love. Relationships and people are not disposable; at the very least make an effort to make things work before you just give up.

Answer 5

Well, why did you get married to begin with?
You love her thats good to know.
Marriage is a work in progress, there is always going to be give and take and it can't be all one sided.
If she wants something try to come an agreement, maybe do something for her and she can do something for you.
Please don't take your marriage lightly, so many couple do and don't even try.
Have her make a list of what she wants and you do the same, then sit down and go over them together and see what happens.
Good Luck!

Married 20+ years

Answer 6

There is some free counselling out there thru churches. This is your life so you should find the money for counselling if need be. Two working adults can't find the money for counselling? Since you didn't mention children you could always have a trial separation and not make any permanent decision for the time being.

Answer 7

The lusty component of any relationship is approximately 2 years. in case you and he at the instant are not having an remarkable time, and in a bonded marriage, and you spot greater destructive than effective, and no destiny, then certainly bail. i don't see that any toddlers are in touch, so your existence continues to be all approximately you and his all approximately him. If he's flirty with different women human beings, incredibly he's not husband fabric...wasn't then, ain't now. And for confident, not sire fabric. And in case you have any loopy nutty thought that a sprint one is bonding, please be re-recommended.... toddlers at the instant are not bonding they're divisive, as a number of those single mothers will inform you...through fact into an extremely warm perfect relationship (which you at the instant confess is lacking) is now this shrieking toddler demanding of the mummy and removing from the attention to him, and giving it to the toddler. that is barely one greater component of look after... toddlers are a girl factor, not a daddy factor, and few adult males are waiting for the jolt earlier age 30. So, specific, hon. If he's being a jerk, and you spot no reason to proceed, you wager, bail. existence is tooooo short, and beautiful, mature adult males toooooo accessible to handle a ding bat for a husband.

Answer 8

As soon as the the women starts wanting to change things. I am out. Why are they changing things if they fell in love with the original person that you were. Doesn't make sense. It's a contract anyways, did you get a prenuptial?

Answer 9

oh man I am in the same boat as you only I married an Italian and am American...they are summin else man!!! She won't change, you cant make her not wnat ot change you. You know its over when you dread going home or seeing that other person no matter how much you think you love her.

Answer 10

Church's offer free counseling try that. Don't give up on your marriage.....think about your vows maybe even write them down while looking at her picture.