Is he a loser?

Question

First off, I just wanna remind you guys to be a little more open-minded. This guy I know is 35 years old and lives with his brother. Four years ago, his brother gave him a truck, which he drove without an insurance. One day he wrecked the truck (also DUI) and got his license taken away. He is required to pay $4500 (for demage) before his license will be returned to him. His brother (who owns a restaurant) then offered him a job at his place, hoping for him to save up and pay $4500 back in order to get his driver license back. It's been four years now. The guy still works in a restaurant, live with his brother, but unable to save any money at all. Now he complains to me that he hates working in the restaurant and that he doesn't have any money. I've tried to motivate him and all, but he always seems depressed and not so motivated. His brother seems struggle to help boosting his ambition also. I believe in a second chance, but anyway, what do you guys think? Is he just a pure loser?

Now he said he likes me and wants me to go out with him. I like him too, but I believe in self motivation and all. I am 29 years old and really, I am not looking for pulling my life down. I do believe in a second chance, but if the guy is so depressed and has no ambition, I'm not so sure. I like to continue to be his friend, but it seems that he can't balance this two out. What am I supposed to tell him and doesn't come out as a pathetic bxxch?

Answer 1

Yes, he is a loser-and a manipulator, too. Why? Because he has wrecked a car his brother got for him (when you think about it, if that was his car, don't you think he would have paid for it already?) he also is living-rent free- from his brother. My God, don't you see, he is using his brother and trying to use you, too. His brother got him a truck (which he wrecked), got him a job(which he is using the money to drink himself to a car crash to get a DUI) and he is living in his brother's house (because if he was renting, he would've been kicked out a long time ago).
What kind of person is this? He is a loser and a user. Do you know that there are people with no family out there that are working 1 or 2 jobs and trying to make a living with no handouts? Why are you two helping this losing bastard? Hell, I'm 29, live on my own and really have no family members to help me out. my Mom would be dead 2 years the 13th of this month, no fahter whatsoever (was never in my life) and my grandparents-both sets-are dead. Have only 1 sibling and that person (1 year younger then this one) is a major f'uck-up in jail in the South (I'm up North). But, I am working. I pay for my rent, I pay for my car insurance, I pay for all the rest of my bills. No one is helping me. And I am 29. There are people younger then I am-with kids, no less- that are doing what I am doing: surviving. And he is going to try to get sympathy from me? What the f'uck? Are you kidding me? He is a pure loser. If his brother wants to be played for as the fool, that is him. That does not mean you need to. That motherf'ucker should get a life! And his brother should develope a backbone!

Answer 2

It sounds lke he's looking for someone else to live off. If he doesn't like restaurant work, he could open a savings account to save some money, he could go to college to learn a new skill or he could apply for a different job. Instead he whines to you about how tough he has it. I believe in second or even 5th chances, but the way this guy is acting, he's not looking for a chance, he's looking for a handout. If you really like him though, tell him you'll date after he gets his own place.

Answer 3

stay away hes a loser u can find better im 26 good career own a house and never went to college but self motivation is all i have and if he aint got it at 35 he is gonna live w/ is brother or milk of u is whole life

Answer 4

well i would agree, that he proably is depressed and he actully neep some professional help, or medications. it also helps to have good friends, that are willing to be open minded and listen and give positive feedback .it may be worth giving him a chance, but if you see that it's going no where fast, then just be honest with him and tell him what you think while still being kind and empathetic. maybe if he knows how you feel, and knows what kind of guy you want and he is serious about being with you then knowing that he has got to be more motivated to be with you will help him

Answer 5

Run like your have never run before. He is a user and obivously unwill ing (and perhaps unable) to grow up and act like an adult. He's making choices to remain where he is. He's depressed because he knows he needs to grow up and the choices he's making haven't helped him get there. He neeeds to seek some serious counseling as to why he continues to act destructively. If you really want to help him, tell him. You deserve better than someone with his record of carelessness. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM! He has to make choices on his own to change his behavior.

Answer 6

Sounds as though you have given it your best shot, and he has done nothing. So you have two choices move and and find someone with motivation and drive to do better with their lives. Or you can stick with him in hopes that he is going to grow up. And he is already 34 how much longer do you think he needs to grow up? Maybe when he is 50 he will get a clue. God bless

Answer 7

If he's 35, lives with his successful brother, and CAN'T save up any money, he's not the type to take advantage of second chances. He's a loser and there's nothing that you can do to change him, regretfully. :S

Sorry.

Answer 8

Lives with bro + DUI + no insurance + not responsible enough to save money and pay for his mistakes = LOSER!

Grab your backpack and RUN!

Answer 9

He's a loser looking for some one to take care of him.

Answer 10

The surest way to predict someone's future behavior is to look at their past behavior. Re-read what you just posted about this guy: if you take up with him, that's your future.