Why do people feel the need to prove that they are more miserable than others?

Question

I have a friend who has taken on more than she needed to. She is going to school full time and is taking advanced placement classes. She is also working an average of 36 hours a week at a back breaking job. She is stressed and was venting to me and someone over heard and acted like her problems were nothing.....that she didn't even know stress. Then the lady started going off on her mortgage payment and everything else. I didn't know what to say but I felt like making her eat her words. But then I started thinking, people always do this do they not? I have heard allot of times someone complaining about something somebody else will almost always counter them with another thing. Why do you think this is?

Sorry, I don't know if this is in the correct category but I didn't really know which one to put it in. Thanks for the answers!

Answer 1

There are games people play to get attention -- "Ain't It Awful" and "Harried" for example. Your friend lives on those games.

Answer 2

That`s nothin`! When I was her age, I lived in a shoebox. In an lake, mid winters under the ice. I stood up every morning at five, two hours before I got home from work. Youth of today just don`t get it. When I was young, about three, I worked whole shifts down at the mill. I had four different night jobs at the same time, for two pennies a month, never complaining. so relax and take some Prozac, you will recover hopefully.

Peace and love from Norway

Answer 3

Different way of competing I suppose. Most people don't even realize that they are trying to out-do the other with their stories. A lot of people will just take any opportunity to vent or share their stories.
Human beings are competitive by nature. It's like guys I went to school with at our 10 year reunion. One of the football players commented on a car accident he had been in and his injuries. Another had a story to top that, his car had gone off a cliff. Another guy had to top that with 'Well I was riding my motorcycle and then......he pulled off the prosthetic leg none of us knew he had!"
That is what most people do on this site as well. But I believe that a lot of the competing stories on this site are made-up because most people just want to one-up the other. Or it's the shock value of getting a reaction, some attention...

Answer 4

I suppose to challenge another's perceived exhaustion.
You could play that game if someone said "My life is so hard..."

But it would not command you any great attention elsewhere, unless sympathy was a virtue.

It's context dependent. It can offer others perspective, giving them a guide, or possibly offer inspiration. But more often it's a self-interested cry for triage in justice, that lessers be treated later for their injuries-- or more callously, that any such special treatment be abolished to preserve the harmony of discord. People who have worked hard for undeserving generations to complain about their 'work' are often subject to this. That's why social reforms proceed at a snail's pace.

Answer 5

I know what you mean. I think because people are competitive by nature. Sometimes they will even compete for sympathy/misery! I had a friend in school that always had to "outdo" my problems. If I had a headache, she had a brain tumor. If my boyfriend & I had a fight, hers broke up with her. "That's nothing, wait til you hear what happened to me!" Maybe she just had a really awful life but it often felt like she was exaggerating for effect. Maybe for attention. Anyway, the winner in such a contest is the loser. Sometimes our misery is of our own making (such as in your friend's case, overscheduling herself, taking on too much). We complicate our lives unnecessarily & then whine about our situation. Instead of just changing the situation for the better.

Answer 6

ohhhhhh, you mean those one-upsman people. yeah, they drive me crazy. if you had the flu, they had pnumonia. or if you say you have a headache, they say, oh you don't know headaches, blah, blah, blah, i had a headache that lasted 3 months. lmao. they typically over exaggerate everything. i think it's a misery loves company thing. my brother is like that...always one-upping everyone. and he can't understand why i haven't talked to him in over 3 years. lol.
oh, and they never want a solution to their problems, they know it all, have done it all, and just want an audience so they can complain about it all!!

Answer 7

One reason is "One upmanship" - the idea is to be bigger/smaller/better/meaner/harsher/ - you get the picture - than anyone else and then you may just begin to feel a leeeeeetle bit of pride in your own accomplishments, however gruesome those accomplishments were. Low self esteem breeds this kind of "My stuff is worse than your stuff"

Answer 8

She was just venting to a close friend. That is what friends are for. She wasn't complaining, she just needed a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 9

i hate to admit this but i have caught myself doing this. i do it because i am not a complainer. i rarely talk about my problems to anyone and when i hear someone start talking about there problems something in me gets upset because i have just as much if not worse things going on in my life but i just chose to hold them in. so when i hear someone complaining then i get mad and start going off on how they don't know anything about pain. its horrible i know.

Answer 10

They want to prove that because when someone knows that you are miserable, some people feel sad and they treat you better than someone else. It is true. I am a kid.