I caught my wife. What should I do?

Question

She was reading one of those trashy romance novels. Its not like she was just looking at porn which is pictures and take no thought this was literature and seeping into her mind. I hate the way they portray men and some of the romantic crap is just unrealistic. I wish women were able to separate fantasy from reality like men who watch porn do. My low self esteem just can't handle the added expectation these romance novels are forcing on me.
I've already searched the house and found a stash of this filth. I also confronted her about it and she thinks there is nothing wrong with it. What should I do? Should I leave? We have two lovely children. I would hate for them to find that filth. Oh, what should I do?
Please, please help me!

Thank you all so much.
My wife has promised to read to me "Howl" by Allen Ginsberg as a bed time story tonight.

Answer 1

lmao you are JOKING right?!

lmao funny! :o)

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with what she is doing. Romance novels, trashy or otherwise, are a fiction... a form of getting a little break from every day life, as any other book is. Just because she likes to read about romance, doesn't mean that she expects it from you.. maybe that's why she reads them. Maybe she gets her romantic needs fulfilled by reading about other women in romantic situations, so that she doesn't have to pressure you into doing romantic things, that perhaps you don't want to do. And are you trying to say that the way that porn portrays women isn't unreal? If you took the average porn movie and generalized the female population by it, then most females would be skinny, perfectly tan, have DD-E breasts, wear skimpy clothes everywhere and have absolutely no inhibitions. That's more real than a romantic man? And thinking that men seperate their fantasies from reality when watching porn any more then women do when reading trashy romance novels is a bunch of rubbish! At least when women read these novels, all of the characters are creations of their imagination. They know that these images will never be real. I know a great deal of men who watch porn, and truely believe that if they ever met said porn star that they enjoy watching, that they may actually have a chance to live out their fantasies in the flesh! All I can say, is tell your wife how you feel about her reading these novels, and hopefully that will resolve your situation. If she decides to keep reading them then all I can say, is have her make sure they are in a place where your children cannot reach them. And if you are seriously thinking about leaving your wife over something so trivial, then I suggest that you get some sort of counseling.

Answer 3

Are you serious?!? You are being completely RIDICULOUS dude! Would you rather her watch porn? I would think NOT! Porn is much worse than a harmless romance novel!! Who cares if you care for the way they portray men. Perhaps you can't handle the romantic crap because you aren't a romantic type of guy. Maybe you're afraid your wife will start expecting you to be a REAL man who can satisfy her....I would bet that you aren't right now!!! Who are you to judge if women separate fantasy from reality??? You are kidding yourself if you really think men actually do separate fantasy from reality in porn!! Porn IS reality, duh!! Probably NOT a reality for YOU but it is real & happens every day, all day!
There IS nothing wrong with reading ANYTHING. You would be a fool to break up your family over a bunch of romance novels! Your wife is doing nothing wrong, get over it & maybe you should try reading one yourself & get some ideas on how to REALLY treat your wife!

Answer 4

The tables have finally turned---- That being said: women ARE able to seperate themselves from reality just like men do when they watch porn. In my opinion, books are a much less trashy way of getting into the fantasy world than porn- being that the books don't have pictures of the people all over it and they aren't accompanied by moaning and such. Plus, these books are romantic. It takes the woman to a place where all of her needs are met- not just sexual. I would honestly just leave her alone about it... It really isn't a big deal. Divorcing her is rediculious. Why not try to kick your romancing skills up a notch or two?

Answer 5

Dude you got some SERIOUS ISSUES, go seek some counseling, I mean really they are just books with words on the pages of paper. What is wrong with you? You said that men can watch porn and seperate it from reality, NOT TRUE, MEN watch the porn and all of a sudden think that they are SUPER STUDS and be like the ACTORS on the movie. So please do not act like you are innocent when it comes to watching porn. As for your children finding the "FILTH" what do you plan on doing with them the rest of their lives "SHELTER" them from the world? I mean give me a break, they learn things from school friends neighbors, are you going to put a bubble around the house so they are not exposed? Seriously go get help you need to get over what insecurity's you are having in your life and you need to become a REAL MAN. i think that your wife needs to kick you to the curb.

Answer 6

Hee hee...methinks you protest too loudly. Some of those type of novels are really base and not all that well written. After I read about the "throbbing member" for the 500th time I start to nod off. One that I enjoyed was a Victorian novel entitled "Autobiography of a Flea" which was written from the view point of a flea that inhabited the pubic hairs of a young maiden and detailed all the comings and goings observed by this flea. Another one which is quite good actually is "The Story of O" which is the story of subjugation and submission of young women. You should pick up either one of these and ask your wife to read them and give you her opinion. Have her give you a book report of sorts. You might be able to turn this literary preference of hers to your advantage...

Answer 7

Oh my! A cheesy romance novel (Think Fabio) is maknig you doubt yourself and ruining your already ruined self esteem. You need some help guy. Call your doctor or see a shrink. It's a book! A fictional romance novel!!!! A fairy tale for heavens sake. Get over it. Your probs are far deeper than a book.

Answer 8

Let her read her novels. I see no harm in it. And I disagree that men can separate porn and real life. I believe porn is often the cause for sexual assaults. If you feel you honestly cannot stand her reading those novels, then I suggest couples therapy, not leaving her.

Answer 9

I don't think you should leave behind trashy romance novels. When it comes to expectations, remind her that you are the real man in her life and you don't feel right with the imposition. As far as the kids, ask her to get a lock box to keep them in for their sake.

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong with her reading a book, maybe she just likes to read those kind of books, There shouldnt be no added expectations just because she is reading a book, If your kids are your young they wont know its a romance novel anyway. If BOOKS are your worry, You have a lot waiting for you.

Good Luck.

Answer 11

First of all, I would make sure the kids don't have access to her literature. Secondly, you should use it to your advantage; after reading her books, she's probably very horny and raring to go. Lock yourselves in the bedroom and have some fun. Who the hell cares how those trashy books portray men? If they make her horny, good for you. Less foreplay, probably. Why would her reading these books give you low self esteem?