Should you not even consider marriage with the person? I read this in an advice column today, and this woman literally could not stand her husband's 10 year old son. He only visited on weekends, and she couldn't even stand that. So, my question is, if you're involved with someone and you can accept them but not their offspring, then is the relationship pretty much guaranteed to fail?
2006-11-09 09:08:55 · 19 answers · asked by LibraT 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She should not have married him. You should not get seriously involved with anyone that has a child or children you don't like. The child will always be an issue even after they go off to college and get married and have their own kids. The only way it will work is if she is able to find something about the child she likes which doesn't sound possible. Children are a lifetime commitment. It's not just an 18 year project.
2006-11-09 09:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by eehco 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why do you hate there child? Did his son do something unthinkable? That's a pretty serious thing to say. Have you and your spouse talked about it and if so how does he feel about it?
These are all questions you should address. If you love your husband then you should accept his child, I personally have 4 step children who I adore with all my heart (even though they can drive me crazy sometimes!!) Try finding some common ground with his child and if there is something more serious causing that feeling of hatred and you truly love your husband then go to counseling and get to the bottom of it. Otherwise you are putting him in a situation where he needs to choose.....you or his son. That child needs a supportive environment!
2006-11-09 17:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by Bizzare J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if you cannot get along with their offspring that the relationship is doomed for sure. This is the child that they brought into this world and love unconditionally and has been around a lot longer than the partner has been. It's fine to get angry now and again about their behaviour but not to dwell on it as it will destroy the relationship guaranteed.
2006-11-09 17:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I know where your coming from and yes your in a a bind because most children set back and want to play match maker on who is involved with their parents after a divorce, your iether in or out and sometimes this becomes a lets Make a deal on who has the most to offer to them and the the one your in love with is by their choice on whay you can bribe them with to stay out of your relationship, just watch your back and don't let the chips fall all on you at once, and stand up for what you want and don't let them rule your life into their way of thinking. Go for it !!
2006-11-09 17:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by puppylovetfp.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't like or can't accept. You don't have to love/like or anything else with their children just because you love their parent. Accept is all that is needed. The child is still an individual and is perfectly acceptable to not like them.
Don't like then yes you can get involved as long as you accept that they do have this child.
2006-11-09 17:20:21 · answer #5 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well DUH, I mean do you really think that you can go into a relationship with a person get married, and expect the parent to be okay with you not liking their child I mean being a parent myself if you don't like my children then see ya, I don't care if we were standing at the alter getting ready to say our vows and you told me that you didn't like them I would be gone, but I mean that is if the parent is not SELFISH, and maybe you should try and get to know the kid I mean they are going through alot as well, you are a new person coming into THEIR lives and taking their parent away from them so to speak. So you need to stop being so SELFISH and start looking at it in the kids point of view. NOT YOURS
2006-11-09 17:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you should not consider this. It isnt fair to anyone involved. Not you, the significant other or the child. It will just snowball into a very ugly situation eventually and everyone will be hurt and no one will win.
2006-11-09 17:11:52 · answer #7 · answered by his temptress 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out early, because most parents will chose their child over a partner most of the time.
Plus the child can tell that you do not like them, and will play one against the other .
Good Luck
2006-11-09 17:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by David Y 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would anyone force a child to suffer visiting his dad with a woman who hates him? How cruel is that? The father should end the relationship-- if he has any sense.
2006-11-09 17:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep. Don't even pretend that you can love the man enough; there's nothing ou can do when you can't stand anyone, especially a child.
2006-11-09 17:27:21 · answer #10 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋