Why do people want to have what other people have?

Question

In short, why do people covet?

Case in point, I have two daughters with a playroom full of lots of toys. All of the toys belonging to/claimed by the eldest are on the left side of the room, and those of the youngest are on the right side. But sharing toys which they are not playing with is very difficult for my eldest, and a minor issue for the youngest.

For instance, my eldest will be playing with several of her toys, and the youngest will grab another toy which belongs to the eldest, and the eldest will drop everything and run screaming for the toy which she was not even playing with, and oftentimes didn't even have a clue existed in the previous moment.

The toys don't disappear and they are never taken away from her by anyone.

Similarly, they used to have the problem of wanting to play with whatever the other was playing with, regardless of whose toy it was or if it was generally preferred much less than the toy that they were playing with previously.

Okay, so we let them work it out peacefully, until they start yelling or using force, the ultimate argument of all those who covet and see the opportunity to prevail. Then we intervene with enough force to diffuse the conflict. I mention these earliest examples as the most simple instances for exploring the motivations of fighting over the resources of others. Nations fight over resources like oil, divorcing couples fight over resources like cars and homes, etc.

I think that I am from Mars, because I don't feel those feelings and I can't understand where they come from. I get that we all want things (such is human), but desiring to take the property of others without their free consent is quite beyond my comprehension.

This question is focusing on the human desire to have the possessions of others WITHOUT earning them/working for them, as opposed to interacting as free agents (i.e. without force or deception). Fighting other species for resources is understandable, but fighting one's own seems irrational and contrary to the principles of Darwinian evolution (though I recognize that there are infrequent examples of such in some non-homosapien species).

The answer that this is human nature is not helpful to me because it is not my human nature. My inability to understand this makes me feel like I'm from Mars, but I am human, and drives me to ask those of you who experience it to help me understand it's roots. It is obviously therefore a result of more fundamental principles of human nature. I'd like to know what those principles are; what parts of human nature contribute to this popular behavior of conflict and destruction?

Answer 1

Human nature. The thrill in tasting the 'forbidden fruit'. The thought that the grass is always greener on the other side.
We all crave something better at one point or another, it's not unusual.
I believe it stems from boredom.
When life gets monotonous, too routine-like, you want to break free from that cycle.
Greed is another driving factor.
Basically, we're never satisfied or pleased with what we've got.
It's only when it's gone that we fully appreciate how good we had it to begin with.

Answer 2

Well, if I had to do it all over again, I would tell them that they must work it out themselves, but without breaking anything or hurting anyone, and if they can't seem to do it, there should be some sort of consequence. You should figure out ahead of time what the consequence it and of course make it fair and reasonable considering the argument, such as taking the toy away from both for however long, until YOU can be certain they've calmed down. They of course will have to learn how to compromise, and you might give them a few examples of what compromise means, but expect them to test you. Just follow through every time and they'll learn.

Answer 3

Because evolved humans are possessive to a degree. Are you from Mars? Think how it would be otherwise. Yes, I know, you think it would be a utopia. Think again. Any organism that followed such a distopic strategy would open itself to cheaters and be out competed. We evolved the way we did to resist invasion to a great degree and to recognize it when resistance flags.

PS Your additional details make me question your purported scientific training. Think continuously and I am sure human behavior will not stay beyond your comprehension. Ever since Lord Kelvin we evolutionary biologist have had trouble with you physicists. I had hoped that discipline " regionalism " had passed.

PPS Species infighting IS Darwinian evolution by natural selection. A typical functional scientists mistake. The competition that species have among themselves, especial sexual selection, is the driver of evolution, to a greater extent than arms races between species. You need to educate yourself first; then you can make such pronouncements. Read Darwin, to begin.

Answer 4

your children behavior are not an example of what your asking,basically ,because of the context where the situation develops,but any way,it has to be with levels of satisfaction in human nature,if you make money,do you want to make less or more?so ,the more you have the more you want,

Answer 5

They see how much enjoyment the owner of the item is getting and want to join in on the fun. Simple Covetousness. (sp.)

Answer 6

Billy answered it. Its human nature for us to believe the grass is always greener.

Answer 7

"It is human nature to covet. We covet what we see everyday" Often the "grass is greener on the other side."

Answer 8

Jealously, like Cain and Abel. I envy other people for their things. . it is just human nature

Answer 9

Because they have'nt got it--------