What do you do when your husband is from another state, moved here to go to school, fell in love, got married and now is miserable because he misses his family back home? I'm not willing to move just yet and he knew that prior to marrying me, I have family here that I'm not ready to leave, plus I have 2 young children and don't want to relocate them. He can't even reassure me that he wants to be here so now I'm questioning our marriage. What should I do? He has a daughter here but is rarely allowed to see her which makes him even more depressed. HELP!
2006-11-09 08:59:58 · 17 answers · asked by truly_insightful 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've tried to plan a couple of road trips but its over 1000 miles away and we have 3 kids between us so it isn't very practical, plus it just gets him more depressed when he thinks we may not be able to take his daughter. Plane tickets are out of the question on our budget.
2006-11-09 09:22:00 · update #1
If he is truly happy with his life with you, this will pass. However, by sending him home by himself, you are not allowing him to get on with his life here. You may go with him for a visit back to his home town and see for yourself if he is really happy there. Sometime people are just not happy and they are looking for an excuse to be depressed! If he continues being miserable with you, then, perhaps he should go back home!
2006-11-09 09:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im wondering why he hasnt gone back for visits. A short visit can make a big difference. He should be able to do that in order to help him with the move.
It just seems as far as compromising, he is doing all of it and you none. You dont seem very patient. How would you feel if you were the one that moved? Not an happier than he is at this point.
2006-11-09 09:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HECK NO!!!! if u loved him enough to marry him then why cant u even spend a little while with him when he is like that? If u r really the true wife he deserves, then you better help him...not just leave! Thats what marriage is all about....helping eachother.. u tell him to leave then u don't care about him anymore. That's what he would see!
2006-11-09 10:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by calientaXOchica<3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have him go home for a while and tell him to decide if you are the most important thing in his life or his family he needs to be a man and be able to reassure you that his marriage is what he wants if you move you will be at his mercy and God knows what his next move will want to be
2006-11-09 11:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all federal guidelines say visitation is, every Wednesday for three hours, every other weekend and every other holiday. Shared parenting plan says he has right to school information medical reports etc. Sounds to me that he needs a good attorney. Tell him to read and study Baldwins law which is a federal guide line for custody visitation and shared parenting. Good luck
2006-11-09 09:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by big T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you guys both want your marriage to work, then you will compromise on this. Its just another state away, visit for thanksgiving, or christmas, Homesick, i thought kids get that way.
2006-11-09 09:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you take on a spouse you had better divorce your family and consider your spouse your new family. If you both will not do this then your marriage will never work. Let him decide what is more important, you or his family.
2006-11-09 09:08:33 · answer #7 · answered by Chuck C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY TALKING TO HIM AND COMPROMISE HOW ABOUT WHEN THE KIDS R OUT OF SCHOOL(IF THEY R IN SCHOOL)ON SUMMER VAC.GO VISIT HIS FAMILY 4 A FEW WEEKS TRY TO VISIT THEM MORE. I DO THINK HE SHOULD UNDERSTAND WERE YOU R COMING FROM AS WELL.
THIS REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING THAT WAS TALKED ABOUT BEFORE THE MARRIAGE.
2006-11-09 09:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by ROSIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only another State not another Country. Why don't you just go a visiting?
2006-11-09 09:02:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive for him- if you are harsh and 'lay down the law' when he's going through a tough time, you're screwing your relationship. Try to understand and talk with him. You're supposed to be his support system- don't bail when he needs you most.
2006-11-09 09:09:59 · answer #10 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋