We have only been married two months and I found him going onto chat lines talking to other women about sex. I am an old fashioned kind of woman and believe that this is cheating. I have asked friends and they give me conflicting answers. What do you think? Please only give mature answers because this is a potential deal breaker for me. Thanks
2006-11-09 08:57:21 · 16 answers · asked by niedermn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have spoken to him about this and he said that he see's no problem with it and he is completely devoted to me and us. I believe that but I also believe that I should be the only woman he talks to about anything sexual. I am very open to certain things, as long as there is honesty behind it. Thanks to everyone for their comments.
2006-11-09 09:22:39 · update #1
What he is doing is not healthy for the relationship and can not lead to any good thing between him and you.
However may seeking a fetish or sexual desire you may not provide or is un willing to provide.
I strongly suggest you guys have many communications about sex and make sure you are both pleasing each other in the manner desires if possible.
Often men, even early in a relationship seek sexual fufilment elswhere because they have not communicated desires and needs effectively to a spouse or the spouse has put up road blocks to a certain sexual activity that is desired,
additionally please listen to him and think about his answers after confronting him about the issue before you respond.
But you are correct it is a form of cheating. But if you both really love each other you'll work thru it
2006-11-09 09:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-16 05:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Janice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be happy about it. I say the porn is one thing, but chatting online is another. That can lead to so much more.....even if he swears it wouldn't. Even if your partner is not having actual sex with someone else, I think there is an emotional bond that two people can have outside of a marriage that is cheating also. I say give in an ultimadum....
2006-11-09 09:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by amanda r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I am guilty of the things your husband does! I dont consider it cheating although my wife doesnt approve either! Its just something to do to pass the time away! Your husband more than likely isnt going to meet anyone that he is chatting with nor is he going to get together with a porn star! It is a bad addiction, dont get me wrong, I just cant see how this would be considered cheating. Hopefully I helped some!
2006-11-09 09:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by nextelcp48 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A deal breaker? What happened to communicating and working through things? You need to be honest with him, and you need to find out what is going on in his mind too. Did this just start? Is the marriage a scary realization to him? Maybe he's been doing this for awhile, and doesn't think anything of it. You shouldn't be asking your girlfriends for advice. You should be communicating with your husband. Your friends don't have to live with him.
If this bothers you that much, your husband should be able to respect you enough to at least compromise.
2006-11-09 09:06:24 · answer #5 · answered by BossMama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn is not cheating. Sexual chatting is. Be glad you found out what he is only 2 months in. Good Luck.
2006-11-09 09:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine does the same thing. I gave up on the porn and started watching it with him- but the chat rooms I believe is cheating.
2006-11-09 09:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come to terms with your husband about this. It shouldnt be something you come to Yahoo to discuss...rather it is a personal and delicate matter to be worked out between you both. In order to survive and thrive in marriage youve got to communicate with each other better and find common ground to stand on or your marriage is essentially doomed before you even really start it. Best of luck...Im sure he will give 100% if you openly honestly talk to him...if not hes not a keeper and you should discuss separation to teach him a lesson. Best of luck.
2006-11-09 10:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn from a tape or CD is not.
Talking dirty to other women is pretty bad. Maybe not cheating but definitely unacceptable as far as I am concerned. Could lead to actual cheating.
2006-11-09 09:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by Joshuwa G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only offer my personal opinion. Looking at porn isn't cheating. But, when you chat, you are starting relationships, sexual in nature, with people other than your spouse. ANY sexual relationship, with any person except your spouse is cheating.
2006-11-09 09:37:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋