I have a friend who has confided in me that she does not like to be touched at all... even by her husband.. I thought it was weird and thought I would ask if anyone had any suggestions
2006-11-09 08:40:47 · 21 answers · asked by Tammy N 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and there is no abuse involved
2006-11-09 08:41:27 · update #1
Wow you guys are great! I will chat with her to see if I can't help her to get some help.
Thank you all, I look forward to more advice
2006-11-09 08:50:54 · update #2
I'm kind of like your friend. I don't like hugs and whatnots. The only person you would ever see me openly and freely with is my son. And my son loves to give hugs and kisses and I would never turn him away. I can not explain it. Maybe it's because I he is part of me and I gave birth to him. When I do give my husband 'attention'...believe me it's followed by a shower. I carry hand sanitizer on me at all times. Trust me I love my husband and I love my family. Maybe it's all about my personal space. I'm not sure...but I'm glad I have a man who understands it. LOL :-)
2006-11-09 08:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like being touched at all, I'm not currently in a relationship and I'm not a touchy-feely person. It's a little odd, though, to not want to be touched by your Significant Other, as physical intimacy is very important in many relationships. If she were sick on her period then it'd be understandable, but not at all is depressing.
Has your friend recently given birth? I read once that sometimes women do not want to be touched by their husbands because they've spent their entire day cuddling and holding the baby and are tired of physical contact.
I had a friend whose girlfriend did not want to be touched while she was sleeping. She insisted the two of them share the same bed (tiny college dorm twin of course...) but he'd have to never touch her at all. No cuddling, no snuggling, no arm around her. He said he ended up with many stiff necks and cramped backs because he had to avoid touching her.
It was really weird because she wouldn't let him sleep on the floor or in another bed. And apparently in public she'd be very clingy, hanging onto his arm for dear life or standing so close to him as if to physical block other people from talking to him.
The girl had some serious issues. Maybe your friend likes her personal space? (I do...) Maybe they should see a marriage counselor.
2006-11-09 08:50:56 · answer #2 · answered by Bookworm 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me that she may of been abused sexually as a child or a teen. This is the kinda of behavior that woman tend to display when they are abused early on. She needs to go get some counseling and talk to someone that will help her get this out of her system and be able to enjoy being touched. It is possible to get over being molested. I wish her the best of luck
2006-11-09 09:05:21 · answer #3 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she could be a germaphob.....but more than likely she has some kind of mental block up when it comes to intimacy.
Ask her what she thinks about when it comes to intimacy such as her personal definition, what she considers as bad intimacy (Ask this one first) in contrast to good intimacy.
Then ask her what does she think when her husband wants to be intimate w/ her. What images or thoughts pops up in her mind.
If she has mental blocks, it will be easy for her offer vivid info to these questions because.....they're right there in her mind.
Nothing is really wrong with her if there wasnt any abuse. She just probably has a few issues with letting go.
She probably needs reassurance when it comes to being close. She'll have to be the initatior, and she'll have to be in control. She'll have that issue for a while, but with practice, she'll open up and feel better about things.
Gudluk!!!!
2006-11-09 08:56:01 · answer #4 · answered by diaz276 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people are oversensitive. They are very very sensitive to sound, sight, emotions, fears, and touch. They become overwhelmed with too much stimulation. The amount of stimulation varies from person to person. I am one of those people who is ultrasensitive to sound, sight and emotion. I can understand perfectly how she would not want to be touched sometimes. It has nothing at all to do with love or affection. It is the body/mind way of protection.
2006-11-09 09:25:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something from her past perhaps....a rape? You say there isn't any abuse, but are you sure. People don't exactly just open up and discuss those things.
Is she on any medications that might interfere...birth control, anti-depressants, etc? She might want to ask the Dr. or Pharmacist about the pills she is taking and how they might affect her.
It's not "weird". There are factors that can do this...including fatigue, stress, and exhaustion....depression to.
2006-11-09 08:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friend may have been abused in some way or may have extreme self esteem issues, encourage her to talk to someone who can help-councilor, pastor, etc. Its not weird I comes from a deep seated fear of being hurt, rejected or abused again.
2006-11-09 08:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by witchway 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am also one of those person who don't like to be touched. I can dill with it at times but, for the most I like my space. Good question I need this answer also.
2006-11-09 09:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by rock-rock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this person was molested as a child. In any case this person should be seeking therapy to help her deal with this, also it may be psychopseumatics, you know how certain peope can't shake hands with anyone for fear of germs etc.
2006-11-09 08:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is actually a syndrome that people can get. It was on one of the talk shows the other day. She can get help with it.... it was on Dr. Phil... That must be so hard for her but I don't have any answers for her... maybe his website could help. Good luck.
2006-11-09 08:43:53 · answer #10 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋